Halloween Parades
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Halloween has once again come and gone. Not only did we eat our weight in sweets, but we encouraged strangers’ children to do the same. And while we work off those extra calories in preparation for indulging on Thanksgiving turkey (which we’ll burn off before gaining Christmas dinner calories, which we’ll burn off before Groundhog’s Day brunch… it’s an endless cycle), let’s take a peek-a-roo at all of those nutty people who decided it was a good idea to dress as a puppet.

For past ToughPigs Halloween Parades, give these a click: 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2007, 2008.

And as always, give those naughty images a spanking a click to embiggen. Now let’s get on with this craziness we attempt to pass off as entertainment!

I have to wonder how most ladyfriends react when their boyfriends suggest that they dress as Kermit and Miss Piggy. There’s got to be at least a few who are insulted at the insinuation that she look like a snout-less pig. Still, it almost always ends up being a sickeningly cute couples costume. Also, I’m enjoying the number of people who modify a green hoodie with a collar and eyes for a simple Kermit costume. I would totally buy a collared Kermit hoodie for everyday use (are you listening, Disney???).

The Gonzo costume in the middle is my favorite of this collage because of the purple tux. That’s all it takes to win my affection. He could be orange and I’d still award him bonus points for the tux. Though the Baby Gonzo in the upper right corner is a good-lookin’ costume, even though he’s way bigger than a baby. Minus points for the guy dressed as Jim Henson (top row, orange shirt) for thinking it’s okay for Jim to be holding an Elmo puppet. It’s not okay, and I wish you’d stop. Don’t make me open a can of Muppet Wiki on you.

Now that’s how you make a Jim costume. Alls you need is a beard, a brown jacket, and, y’know, a puppet that Jim actually performed.

This is what it would look like if your parents dressed up as Kermit and Miss Piggy. “Look kids! We’re ruining your beloved childhood icons!”

People sure do like dressing up as Beaker for Halloween. I always love seeing the different ways folks build the giant cylinder head (of course, with the exception of the guy in the upper right corner). The Bunsens aren’t bad either, though I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Bunsen costume that wasn’t paired with a Beaker. There’s no love for (solo) Doc Honeydew.

The picture on the left is of ToughPigs’ own Alaina, who went all-out on her Dr. Teeth costume, molding the necklace out of sculpey and threading the vest herself. If you could see the whole costume, you’d see that even the boots are accurate (thanks, Palisades action figure!). As for the people dressed as Animal, I have a theory that they only chose that costume so they’d have an excuse to shout obscenities after getting drunk.

The picture on the left is how the Electric Mayhem would look if they were real people. The picture on the right is how the Electric Mayhem would look if they were attending your wedding.

Apron? Check. Bow tie? Check. Giant eyebrows? Check. The Swedish Chef costume gets a lot of play every year, probably because he kinda looks like a real dude, and you can make it out of stuff you’ve got lying around the house. I’m giving double points go to the guy in the middle of the upper row, who actually built a puppety head that looks just like the Chef. But then I’m taking away all of his points because he gave himself puppety hands too. You came so close to accuracy, bro!

SCENE 1: COSTUME STORE, INTERIOR, DAY. “Hey look, that wig looks like David Bowie’s hair in Labyrinth! If I just buy a Jack Sparrow shirt and some gray tights, I can dress as Jareth for Halloween! I’m probably gonna have to stuff the tights though…”

Sad Ludo has no friends. What’d you do to piss off the rocks, Ludo??

That sure is a lot of Sesame Street costumes. But really, I can’t stop staring at that Telly costume in the lower left corner. I’d dress as Telly every day if I owned that costume.

In the past, I’ve complained that the giant-head Bert and Ernie costumes were starting to creep me out. The picture in the upper right corner has convinced me that the bigheads aren’t so bad. Also, I am totally digging on those crocheted Bert and Ernie hats in the lower left corner. Though they are looking a little surprised to be hats.

So wait. Which ones are the real Bert and Ernie?? Too many unibrows!!!

Guys, seriously, you’re not helping to stop those rumors about you right now. On an unrelated note, it looks like Bert’s been working out.

There are apparently only two important things to keep in mind when putting together a successful Count costume: the sash and the widow’s peak.

As far as couples costumes go, this is way better than the “plug and outlet”, “Raggedy Ann and Andy”, and “brick and brick layer” costumes put together.

You might’ve noticed how I (unintentionally) put these pictures in decreasing order of fuzziness, yet increasing order of grouchiness.

The Yip-Yip Martians make their triumphant return to the Halloween Parade, once again as one of the most popular Muppet costumes of the year. I wonder if the word “redundant” is in their book. (“Book, book! Uh huh, uh huh.”)

I was surprised at the lack of Fraggle costumes this year: only one Red and two Doozers that I could find. I’m especially amazed at the girl on the left for her excellent Doozer helmet. Next year, I’m hoping for at least one Trash Heap costume.

The runner-up for the My Favorite Muppet Costume Award goes to this unbelievable Grover costume. If Grover was human-sized, this is exactly what he’d look like. If I saw that in real life, I don’t think I’d be able to resist the urge to give him a hug.

But my favorite costume of the year goes to this Miss Piggy costume. Not because it’s a terribly remarkable Piggy, but because it’s obviously Miss Piggy from The Muppets Take Manhattan. She’s got the 80s dress, the white purse, and the frizzy hairdo. But most importantly, she’s got the scowl. Maybe she just saw Kermit giving Jenny the “huggies”.

And that’s it for this year’s batch of Muppet costumes! Special thanks to Joy Satterwhite, Stephanie Kaye, Lucy Posen, Jonathan Little, Robyn Learn, Jen and Tim Coles, Alaina Breeden, and everyone else involved for sending in their pictures of themselves or their loved ones dressed like characters from a kiddie show.

Click here to dress up as the ToughPigs forum!

joe.toughpigs@gmail.com

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