The Muppet Show Haiku Project! Season Four

Published: June 25, 2009
Categories: Feature

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Hey, remember when Tough Pigs’ close personal friend David Beukema wrote some terrific and entertaining haiku for season one, season two, and season three of The Muppet Show? Sure you do. Now guess which season he’s doing haiku for this week.

TIME’S UP! It’s season four. Go for it, David!

Episode 401: John Denver
John and the Muppets
Start a great friendship with some
Moldy truffle jokes.

Episode 402: Crystal Gayle
Klepto prairie dogs
Run amok and rob Kermit
Of his modesty.

Episode 403: Shields and Yarnell
Take a chance on me!
Well, if you don’t mind heights or

Episode 404: Dyan Cannon
Floyd has great advice

For reluctant dog-sitters:
Breathe through the keyhole.

Episode 405: Victor Borge
Borge’s Beethoven
Is very beautiful and
Cures insomnia.

Episode 406: Linda Lavin
Statler and Waldorf
Reminisce about their youth.
What was Caesar like?

Episode 407: Dudley Moore
No one likes M.A.M.M.A.
Not the band, not Kermit — it
Ain’t R2-D2!

Episode 408: Arlo Guthrie
Cows sing Elegance,
Which is an udder delight.
(Sorry. Don’t hurt me.)

Episode 409: Beverly Sills
Spoon hanging’s an art
For famous sopranos and
Culture purveyors.

Episode 410: Kenny Rogers
The frog, he bought a
Coconut. And also some
Acid, it would seem…

Episode 411: Lola Falana
Gonzo is off to
Bombay, India to star
In “Slumdog Weirdo”.

Episode 412: Phyllis George
The coveted Fred
Is an award like none else.
‘Cept bowling trophies…

Episode 413: Dizzy Gillespie
Dizzy’s bulging cheeks
Must rival even a frog’s —
They’re green with envy.

Episode 414: Liza Minnelli
Liza Minnelli
Singing Barry Manilow?!
I’m in gay heaven!

Episode 415: Anne Murray
Piggy gets around,
But don’t tell her I said so —
I value my life.

Episode 416: Jonathan Winters
Gypsies curse the show
For a measly seven bucks.
Seems the same to me!

Episode 417: Star Wars
Mark gargles Gershwin,
But that’s not really my style.
I burble Berlin!

Episode 418: Christopher Reeve
Floyd, Janice, and Bo
Irk Sam — it’s not that hard to
Ruffle his feathers.

Episode 419: Lynda Carter
Eats the Muppet Newsman twice.
Now that’s a square meal.

Episode 420: Alan Arkin
Fozzie’s got rhythm.
Well, if by “rhythm”, you mean
Absolutely none.

Episode 421: Doug Henning
Fozzie somehow pulls
A rabbi out of a hat.
Is that hat kosher?

Episode 422: Andy Williams
Andy’s dorky laugh
Gets kicked up by the thought of
Bouncing baby figs.

Episode 423: Carol Channing
Does this episode
Have a guest star? Cause clearly,
Carol’s a Muppet.

Episode 424: Diana Ross
Beaker has Feelings,
But he sure doesn’t have a
Recording contract.


Thanks again to David for the groovy haiku! And big thanks to Muppet Wiki for huge major assistance with images! Click here to talk about moldy truffle jokes and kosher hats on the Tough Pigs forum!

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