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Now comes my biggest “I love the costumes” challenge — loving the Miss Piggys.

Cause you know I love Miss Piggy, more than pretty much anything, and I have high standards for the pig. The pig is my people.

So I love seeing the great pigs, like the one right here to my right. That’s a quality pig. I have no idea what’s going on there, and that’s all part of the fun, pigwise. There are some good pigs in this world.

For example, there’s the glamour pigs:


And there’s the cutie-pie pigs:

But then when your guard is down, along comes one of these hideous, soul-destroying plaster mask pigs, and all bets are off.

I mean, how can you love that? Even in a good mood. It just can’t be done. It’s one of the more unloveable things that you’ll find outside of a war zone. It’s essentially a Piggy-shaped gas mask.

But never mind that. Here’s another fun, angry-gay-guy pig:

And here’s a cute, the girl who you talk to at lunch a lot pig:

And then, just when you least expect it, another one of these.

Or one of these.

Or, heaven forbid, maybe even one of these.

I mean, what the hell! I’m trying to stay positive, but that really does take everything that you like about life on this earth and makes you take a long, hard look at it. Am I right?

But I can’t leave you there, not this year. It’s not right. So instead I’ll cleanse the palate with this photo. I don’t know what it is or where it’s from, but it brings back all my faith in humanity.

And I’m gonna need that, cause next up is the weirdest, most upsetting Halloween pictures I’ve got.

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by Danny Horn

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