![]() Thursday, July 2, 2009The Muppet Show Haiku Project! Season Fiveby Ryan Roe
Wow. One hundred twenty Muppet haiku poems. It seems like just yesterday that Tough Pigs pal David Beukema started writing a haiku for every single episode of The Muppet Show... and now here we are at the final season. If you haven't seen the previous seasons' haiku, check out season one, season two, season three, and season four. And now I'll turn it over to David for the last batch of poetry.
![]() Episode 501: Gene Kelly Suave Gene serenades Piggy, then Gonzo. Now, that’s Versatility! ![]() Episode 502: Loretta Swit Thog makes the earth move, Proving once and for all that Seismic does matter. ![]() Episode 503: Joan Baez A rat coup d'état?! Dear God, can you imagine? Kiss New York good-bye... ![]() Episode 504: Shirley Bassey Fifty mil in gold Buys more than a Goldfinger Buy the whole Goldhand! ![]() Episode 505: James Coburn Calming Animal With Buddhist meditation? Yeah … good luck, Coburn. ![]() Episode 506: Brooke Shields Um, when you guys are Done being brillig, please leave. You’re freaking me out. ![]() Episode 507: Glenda Jackson Theaters ahoy! This gives a new meaning to Being all at sea. ![]() Episode 508: Senor Wences Lew Zealand’s manners Are atrocious, but he sure Hammers his point home. ![]() Episode 509: Debbie Harry The Frog Scouts go punk. These kids, with their "rock 'n roll"... And get off my lawn! ![]() Episode 510: Jean-Pierre Rampal Rockin’ in treetops Works for birds, but you best have A parachute, Zoot. ![]() Episode 511: Paul Simon Gonzo checks into Vet’s Hospital. Pity it’s Not for a nose job. ![]() Episode 512: Melissa Manchester The Chef chases some Bouncing chickens with a knife – Poultry in motion. ![]() Episode 513: Tony Randall Tony turns Piggy Into solid stone. At least Now she’s lost some weight. ![]() Episode 514: Mac Davis Multiple Beakers Are really pissed at Bunsen. They’re beside themselves! ![]() Episode 515: Carol Burnett Carol shouldn’t be A lonely asparagus. She looks quite tasty! ![]() Episode 516: Gladys Knight In ancient Egypt, Singing mummies show us they Can carry a tomb. ![]() Episode 517: Hal Linden The two old guys host, While Fozzie gets to heckle. A bear’s sweet revenge… ![]() Episode 518: Marty Feldman Googly eyes abound When Marty and Cookie meet. Long lost twin brothers? ![]() Episode 519: Chris Langham Hawaiian Cowboy And Zen skiing – Chris Langham’s A renaissance man! ![]() Episode 520: Wally Boag Leprechaun Brothers Are easy to understand – If you speak Moron. ![]() Episode 521: Johnny Cash Johnny insults Rowlf – Or is “Egg-Sucking Dog” a Term of endearment? Episode 522: Buddy Rich Buddy’s drum battle With Animal results in A sore winner! Ouch. ![]() Episode 523: Linda Ronstadt Linda Ronstadt sings "When I Grow Too Old To Dream". Sniff ... where's my Kleenex? ![]() Episode 524: Roger Moore Hey, join the navy! All the ducks you can steal and A great dental plan! And there you have it! One hundred twenty episodes, one hundred twenty haiku. My thanks once again to David Beukema for his great work, and to Muppet Wiki for image assistance. Click here to talk about mummies, asparagus, and egg-sucking dogs on the Tough Pigs forum! ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com Labels: guest bloggers, poetry, the muppet show Monday, June 29, 2009Q&A with Muppet Robin Hood's Tim Beedleby Ryan Roe TOUGH PIGS: The obvious first question: How did you get the Muppet Robin Hood job? Were you approached by Boom!, or did you seek it out? TIM BEEDLE: Actually, I’m very fortunate in that I worked alongside Paul Morrissey, the editor overseeing all of BOOM!’s Muppet and Pixar titles, when he was at TOKYOPOP. I was the editor on both Return to Labyrinth and Legends of The Dark Crystal, so Paul knew of my love and admiration for Jim Henson’s work, as well as my complete obsession when it came to the Muppets. When Paul landed at BOOM! and learned he would be editing Muppet comics, I imagine I was one of the first writers he approached. Most likely because he knew he’d never hear the end of it from me if I wasn’t. TP: Whose idea was it to do Robin Hood as the first Muppet adaptation comic? TB: Well, I believe Paul made the decision to launch BOOM!’s line of adaptations with Muppet Robin Hood rather than any of the other ones that had been pitched, but the idea of adapting that particular legend was mine. When Paul approached me about pitching ideas, he told me that BOOM! wanted to do a line of Muppet parodies in the vein of Muppet Christmas Carol and Muppet Treasure Island, so I thought about some stories that might make sense for a line of comics like that. We wanted the adaptations to be based on classics and I wanted to take advantage of the fact that these were comics rather than films, so budget and sets weren’t an issue. We could do something epic if we wanted to. At the same time, I wanted to do something that felt appropriate for the Muppets. For example, I thought briefly of adapting a Jules Verne book like 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, but that just didn’t feel like a natural fit for the Muppets. Robin Hood just struck me as something we could have a lot of fun with, and it offered a big enough cast and story to include not only the really popular Muppets everyone knows and loves, but some of the more obscure ones as well. Plus, it was an action story, so we could have swordfights, archery and Muppets riding on horses, without having to stress over how it could be done technically with puppets. Finally, in my opinion, Robin Hood is a legend that hasn’t been appropriately skewered yet. Yes, there’s Robin Hood: Men in Tights, but as much as I love Mel Brooks, I don’t think that’s one of his better movies. I figured the Muppets could do a much better job of parodying it. TP: When you started working on the comic, were you aware that the Muppets had done the Robin Hood story on an episode of The Muppet Show? Have you seen the episode, and if so, did it influence your writing in any way? TB: I’ve seen the episode, but I don’t consider it a full-on adaptation any more than I consider the Mark Hamill episode to be “Muppet Star Wars.” I see that version of Robin Hood as more of an extended skit performed on the show. After all, the real story that drives that particular episode is Piggy’s anger at losing out on the role of Maid Marian to Lynn Redgrave. The Robin Hood story was just the onstage texture. That said, I think it’s a really great episode that came along when the classic Muppets were in their prime. Because of that, I deliberately avoided rewatching it until after I’d gotten well underway in scripting the comic since it would’ve been tempting to lean on the casting choices and humor of the episode a bit too much. All things considered, I’d say that particular episode really wasn’t much of an influence on my writing. However, I do include a small shout-out to the episode in the third issue. A character shows up briefly in our story that fans of the episode will recognize.
TB: Some of them seemed obvious to me, but others were more challenging. Clearly, Robin and Marian were pretty obvious (with all due respect to Ms. Redgrave). Little John was a bit of a challenge, but once the thought of Sweetums taking on the role entered my mind, I couldn’t let it go. Fozzie shows up as Friar Tuck in the second issue, and that seemed like a pretty clear choice to me as well, though for a reason that won’t be completely obvious until you read the issue (let’s just say that Friar Tuck plays a much different role in this version of Robin Hood than he usually plays). I had a lot more trouble with the villains than the heroes because the only Muppets that stand out as “villainous” are pretty obscure, like J.P. Grosse. In the movies, this problem was usually addressed by casting a human actor as the chief villain (Michael Caine in Muppet Christmas Carol and Tim Curry in Muppet Robin Hood), and when it came time to put together the cast list, I suddenly understood why. Fans who grew up with the original show tend to think of all of the Muppets as being part of a close family of performers and it just doesn’t feel natural to imagine them doing harsh things to each other. On top of that, I wanted to provide substantial roles to as many Muppets as I could, so we actually have three main villains in our story: Prince John, the Sheriff of Prince John hasn’t shown up yet and I don’t want to give him away, but when I hit on the idea of using this particular Muppet in the role, I got excited because it just felt fun. Plus, for some reason, he’s a Muppet you don’t see as being particularly close to most of the others, so he works well as a villain. However, the Sheriff and Guy went through a bit of recasting. Originally, I had Gonzo playing the Sheriff and Rizzo as Guy, but Disney really seemed to like the idea of Sam as the Sheriff. So Rizzo became a Merry Man, Gonzo became Guy and Sam—who I was originally going to use as Will Scarlet—became the Sheriff. And I think it’s worked out really well. Sam and Gonzo are so utterly different that I’ve been having a blast teaming them up. They’re the oddest couple imaginable.
TB: Absolutely. As I said, part of the appeal of doing Robin Hood is it has a big cast. I knew from the start that I’d be able to feature all sorts of cameos within the structure of the story. Plus, since this is a comic book and not a film or TV special, we don’t need to worry about whether the original puppeteers would be available or how the characters would come off with a different performer if not. In other words, the sky’s the limit for what characters you may see! I’ve unofficially branded issue #3 the “cameo issue,” so expect to see a bunch of familiar faces in that one. However, we have a couple fun ones in issue #2 as well. As for why I used Hilda, one of the unfortunate truths about the Muppets is that there are only two female Muppets who are particularly well known: Piggy and Janice. That means you need to be a little creative when it comes to casting female characters. I wanted Marian to have a few female companions so that she’d always have someone to interact with when she’s away from Robin, and Hilda is such a great early Muppet. She definitely seemed to fit the role of the dressmaker to me. I think that may be Hilda’s only appearance, though. Marian has a slightly younger companion in the next couple of issues. I’ll let your readers speculate as to who that might be. *smiles*
TB: I’m very familiar with most of the better known adaptations—the classic Errol Flynn movie, the Disney version, Kevin Costner’s Prince of Thieves, even Robin McKinley’s Outlaws of Sherwood. I still think the Flynn version is best if anyone’s looking to watch the legend brought to life on screen. However, I’m not really concerning myself too much with any of those, or with staying too faithful to the legend. My thoughts are that anyone who wants to experience the story of Robin Hood probably isn’t going to start with this comic. Rather, I’m writing this story for Muppet fans, and as such, the legend is just a loose framework. I certainly haven’t thrown it out entirely. All the famous elements and characters are there. But we’re clearly taking some big liberties with it, and they only get bigger as we go on. In fact, Monty Python and the Holy Grail is more of an influence on the way I’m approaching this adaptation than any Robin Hood film or book. I think that movie’s one of the strongest examples of how to use a famous story as framework for absurd comedy. TB: On just about any licensed comic book project, the writer is going to have very little say in who the artist is. I think you pretty much know that going in. However, Paul did ask me if I had any thoughts or suggestions. I offered up a couple of names, but it was Paul who suggested Armand Villavert, Jr. I’ve known Armand for a few years, so I was thrilled for this chance to work with him. He’s a good guy and a big fan of the Muppets. The minute I saw his sample pages, I knew he’d be a great fit. A project like this is really pretty difficult for an artist when you think about it. Not only does an artist have to accurately reproduce dozens of distinct characters in a way that pleases the fans, but he or she has to draw them doing elaborate actions that there really isn’t any precedent for. I mean, as far as I know, the Muppets have never had a staff fight over a river. If you think about it, that’s a difficult thing to draw, especially considering the two combatants are Kermit and Sweetums. Sweetums is at least five times the size of Kermit! Any staff that Kermit could reasonably wield would be little more than a twig for Sweetums. How could he possibly stand a chance in that fight? The cool thing about Armand is he can pull stuff like that off in such a way that you never ask those kinds of questions. He makes that staff fight look like the most natural thing imaginable. One last little thing I’ll add is that while I can’t take credit for Armand, one of the names I suggested to Paul was Amy Mebberson. Paul was already familiar with Amy’s work and was speaking to her about the Pixar comics, so I can’t claim to have fully gotten that ball rolling, though I do believe that I was the first person to get behind the idea of having her draw the Muppets. Amy has such a natural gift for comedic timing. It’s one of the best I’ve ever seen. I can’t wait to see what she does with Muppet Peter Pan. Seriously, Amy Mebberson and Grace Randolph? I’m telling you guys now, that book is going to be AWESOME!!!
TB: Disney’s notes have been very constructive and helpful, and they’ve made some great suggestions. As you know, we have Jim Lewis approving each of these comics and his feedback has been invaluable. Giving credit where it’s due, it was Jim who suggested using Louis Kazagger for the sports announcer in the first issue. I had completely overlooked that character when writing that scene, but Louis was the perfect choice. The character suggestions we’ve gotten from Jim Lewis and Disney have been great, but they’ve also been really helpful when it comes to figuring out the balance between character and role. That’s trickier than you may think. After all, Robin Hood as a character is much different than Kermit the Frog, so how much “Kermit” can we bring to the role? There’s been a fair bit of back-and-forth between me, Paul and Disney on those sorts of things. TP: Are there any plans for you to work on future Muppet comics after Robin Hood wraps up? Are there any ideas that you're itching to do? TB: I’d love to do more with the Muppets, but nothing’s set in stone at this point. If BOOM! asks me to write another series, I certainly wouldn’t turn them down. I suppose whether or not I get the opportunity probably depends a lot on how well Muppet Robin Hood performs. So far it seems to be doing okay, so my fingers are crossed! I do have a second pitch in at BOOM! for another Muppet adaptation. I’m not sure I should reveal it here since it may or may not happen, but it’s another large-scale adventure story that also has great opportunities for humor. I think could be PERFECT for the Muppets. In fact, just between us, it was actually my favorite of my two initial pitches. As proud as I am of Muppet Robin Hood, I think this other one could be even better.
TB: You know, this question was a lot simpler before I started writing Muppet comics. I’ve noticed that I’ve become really fond of some Muppets who I never gave much thought to before when I discovered what a blast they are to write. Janice is one example of this. She has easily become one of my favorite characters in Muppet Robin Hood. As for my favorite Muppet all around…well, can I choose two? My favorite on the show was always the Swedish Chef. His segments still crack me up no matter how often I’ve seen them. However, I also really like Rowlf. I always admired how he could play the straight man as well as the clown. And he narrated Labels: comics/magazines, interview Saturday, June 27, 2009Sesame Street: A Tease-ebrationby Joe Hennes
In honor of Sesame Street being old enough to be your mom, Black Dog and Leventhal Publishers is releasing Sesame Street: A Celebration, a 304-page hardcover book with 1,100 photographs, loads of behind-the-scenes materials, and a DVD (just in case reading just isn't your thang). Not just that, but the publisher provided ToughPigs with some sample pages of the new book! And we'll do with those pages what we do with everything: Put it online for the entire world to read. You are most welcome.
Sesame Street: A Celebration is due in stores in November, 2009 and will retail for $40. Click here to discuss 40 years' worth of Sesame Street on the ToughPigs forum! joe.toughpigs@gmail.com Labels: books, Sesame Street Thursday, June 25, 2009The Muppet Show Haiku Project! Season Fourby Ryan Roe
Hey, remember when Tough Pigs' close personal friend David Beukema wrote some terrific and entertaining haiku for season one, season two, and season three of The Muppet Show? Sure you do. Now guess which season he's doing haiku for this week.
TIME'S UP! It's season four. Go for it, David! ![]() Episode 401: John Denver John and the Muppets Start a great friendship with some Moldy truffle jokes. ![]() Episode 402: Crystal Gayle Klepto prairie dogs Run amok and rob Kermit Of his modesty. Episode 403: Shields and Yarnell Take a chance on me! Well, if you don’t mind heights or Electrocution. ![]() Episode 404: Dyan Cannon Floyd has great advice For reluctant dog-sitters: Breathe through the keyhole. ![]() Episode 405: Victor Borge Borge’s Beethoven Is very beautiful and Cures insomnia. ![]() Episode 406: Linda Lavin Statler and Waldorf Reminisce about their youth. What was Caesar like? ![]() Episode 407: Dudley Moore No one likes M.A.M.M.A. Not the band, not Kermit – it Ain’t R2-D2! ![]() Episode 408: Arlo Guthrie Cows sing Elegance, Which is an udder delight. (Sorry. Don’t hurt me.) ![]() Episode 409: Beverly Sills Spoon hanging’s an art For famous sopranos and Culture purveyors. ![]() Episode 410: Kenny Rogers The frog, he bought a Coconut. And also some Acid, it would seem… ![]() Episode 411: Lola Falana Gonzo is off to Bombay, India to star In “Slumdog Weirdo”. ![]() Episode 412: Phyllis George The coveted Fred Is an award like none else. ‘Cept bowling trophies… ![]() Episode 413: Dizzy Gillespie Dizzy’s bulging cheeks Must rival even a frog’s – They’re green with envy. ![]() Episode 414: Liza Minnelli Liza Minnelli Singing Barry Manilow?! I'm in gay heaven! ![]() Episode 415: Anne Murray Piggy gets around, But don’t tell her I said so – I value my life. ![]() Episode 416: Jonathan Winters Gypsies curse the show For a measly seven bucks. Seems the same to me! ![]() Episode 417: Star Wars Mark gargles Gershwin, But that’s not really my style. I burble Berlin! Episode 418: Christopher Reeve Floyd, Janice, and Bo Irk Sam – it’s not that hard to Ruffle his feathers. ![]() Episode 419: Lynda Carter Rezal-evad-gib Eats the Muppet Newsman twice. Now that’s a square meal. ![]() Episode 420: Alan Arkin Fozzie’s got rhythm. Well, if by “rhythm”, you mean Absolutely none. ![]() Episode 421: Doug Henning Fozzie somehow pulls A rabbi out of a hat. Is that hat kosher? ![]() Episode 422: Andy Williams Andy’s dorky laugh Gets kicked up by the thought of Bouncing baby figs. ![]() Episode 423: Carol Channing Does this episode Have a guest star? Cause clearly, Carol’s a Muppet. Episode 424: Diana Ross Beaker has Feelings, But he sure doesn’t have a Recording contract. Thanks again to David for the groovy haiku! And big thanks to Muppet Wiki for huge major assistance with images! Click here to talk about moldy truffle jokes and kosher hats on the Tough Pigs forum! ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com Labels: guest bloggers, poetry, the muppet show Tuesday, June 23, 2009Review: The Muppet Show Comic Book #4by Ryan Roe ![]() [Important note: The review below claims that The Muppet Show Comic Book #4 would be released on June 24th. This information was taken from the official Boom! Studios website, but has since proven to be completely untrue. Tough Pigs apologizes to Muppet fans, comic book fans, and our elderly Aunt Cloise for any confusion caused by Boom! making us dirty liars. The Muppet Show Comic Book #4 will, in fact, be released... someday. Who can tell with these silly comic book companies?] This Wednesday, June 24th, is the release date for The Muppet Show Comic Book #4, by the series' regular writer and artist Roger Langridge. This is the last issue of the Muppet Show comic... until next month, when it returns with a new #1 as The Muppet Show Comic Book: The Treasure of Peg Leg Wilson for another four-issue run. So the series is ending, but it's not really ending, it's just starting over again, four months after it started the first time, and going four more months until it ends again and then starts again. This kind of insanity is actually considered normal in comics. So, the first thing I want to say about issue 4, which is the "Miss Piggy's Story" issue, is that I love both covers. Cover A, as seen above, has Piggy looking every bit as glamorous as Marilyn Monroe. Cover B is a Sound of Music deal, with Piggy's fellow Muppets apparently none too thrilled with her Julie Andrews impression.
There's a Sam the Eagle bit, with Sam written completely in character. Sometimes I get a little tired of modern Muppet writers emphasizing only Sam's patriotism -- on the show, he was concerned with morality and sophisticated entertainment as much as Americanism. But Langridge manages to get that across even with Sam standing in front of a huge American flag.
So, yeah. This is an okay Miss Piggy. ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com Labels: comics/magazines, review, the muppet show Saturday, June 20, 2009Q&A with Muppet Peter Pan's Grace Randolphby Joe Hennes ![]() How lucky are we that we can go into any comic book store and actually purchase and read not one, but two Muppet comic books? Not lucky enough, because BOOM! Studios is bringing us a third comic in the form of Muppet Peter Pan. Writer Grace Randolph was awesome enough to answer a few pressing questions about the comic for us. We'll have at least one more Q&A with Grace after the comic's debut, so stay tuned for more! Now let's settle down and listen to Grace Randolph and her insight into the frog that never grew up. ToughPigs: How did you get involved with BOOM! Studios? Grace Randolph: Paul Morrissey was my editor on a few different projects over at Tokyopop, so when he took over BOOM! Studios’ Disney line I asked if I could pitch a few ideas. Happily my Muppet Peter Pan pitch sparked his interest and Disney’s, so it was off to the races! TP: Where did the idea for Muppet Peter Pan come from? Was it your pitch, or did BOOM approach you with the idea? GR: It was kind of a mix, really. Disney and BOOM! had decided that in addition to The Muppet Show comic book (awesome book!), they were going to publish a Muppet Storybook comic book as well. So I pitched three different storybooks ala Muppets and Peter Pan was everyone’s favorite. TP: Were you a Muppet fan before this project came about? Who are some of your favorite characters? GR: Yes! I love the Muppets! I’d watched The Muppet Show when I was a kid and I’ve seen all The Muppet movies – I’d say my favorite is A Muppet Christmas Carol. As for favorite characters, of course I love Kermit but I’ve always had a soft spot for Sam the Eagle. Also my sister loves Pepe the Prawn and Bean Bunny, so they’re special to me too. TP: In Muppet Peter Pan, what Muppets play which characters? Will there be any surprises for the fans? GR: There sure will be some surprises – especially if I don’t ruin them here! So sorry, I can only divulge the casting of the main characters as they’re already on the cover of the main book. Kermit plays Peter Pan, Miss Piggy plays Tinkerbell, Janice plays Wendy, Scooter plays John and Bean Bunny plays Michael. Also I believe the solicitation for the book mentioned that Gonzo plays Captain Hook. TP: How are you changing the Peter Pan story to fit in with the Muppets' sensibility? ![]() GR: Actually, I’m trying to stick with the original Peter Pan story as closely as possible. As I said above, my favorite Muppet movie is A Muppet Christmas Carol and that was a very close adaptation of Charles Dickens’ original story. So what I’m trying to do is simply put the Muppets in that world and, since the Muppets are naturally funny, voila! Muppet Peter Pan becomes a comedy but one which is still as touching and charming as James L. Barrie’s classic story. Personally I believe those are the best stories, ones that work on many levels. TP: What kind of research have you done to prepare for this comic? GR: To be honest, I know the Muppets and the story of Peter Pan so well that I haven’t had to do too much research. I did look into the origin of Peter Pan which isn’t often included in other adaptations, and I also have a Muppet Whatnot named Josh who was very helpful explaining the intricacies of Muppet culture that we non-Muppets aren’t privy too. Having an inside man was a crucial part of my process. TP: Have you seen any pages from Amy Mebberson yet? GR: I have and oh boy is everyone in for a treat! I’m very lucky to have a great artist like Amy on the book because she’s got great comedic timing. I put a lot of humor in the book, some of it subtle and visual, and to really sell the jokes the art has to be just perfect. Amy is also giving it that wonderful storybook feel we all love. TP: Do you have a dream comic that you'd like to write featuring the Muppets? GR: Um, I’m writing it. Hehe. But in all seriousness, it’s just an honor to write for the Muppets and get to play in that world. Hopefully there’ll be more opportunities in the future. TP: What is it about Bean Bunny (who has been mostly absent in recent years) that made you want to bring him back? GR: It’s very simple really. Bean Bunny got this role because of his work in The Muppets 3D ride at Disney’s Hollywood Studios in Orlando. I’ve been going to Disney World for years and every time I go, I stop by and watch this 3D movie. It’s very funny and well done, especially considering I haven’t gotten tired of it yet! And Bean Bunny is such a cute character here that I felt he was the perfect choice to play Michael. Plus, as I said, my sister likes him so I also included Bean Bunny as a nod to her. TP: Has it been a challenge to have to mix two different franchises while staying loyal to them both? GR: Yes, but it’s one of those challenges that when you get it just right, it’s very fulfilling. The great thing about the Muppets is that they’re so dynamic, and each character has so much personality, which means they don’t just live in another world but add to it. Therefore I’m happy to say that while you might be familiar with the Muppets and Peter Pan, this is a whole new story that feels fresh and exciting while still maintaining the qualities that made each property so beloved in the first place. At least that’s the plan. TP: Do you have a message you want to relay to the fans? GR: The Muppets are in good hands! Special thanks to Grace Randolph for taking the time to chat with us! Click here to discuss alternate uses for pixie dust on the ToughPigs forum!joe.toughpigs@gmail.com Labels: comics/magazines, interview Thursday, June 18, 2009The Muppet Show Haiku Project! Season Threeby Ryan Roe
If it's Thursday, that means it's time for more Muppet Show haiku from Tough Pigs' own David Beukema! David has already taken on season one and season two, so this week he's tackling season three. Take it away, David!
![]() Episode 301: Kris Kristofferson & Rita Coolidge Gladys may be the Ugliest Muppet ever – And I’ve seen Ma Gorg! ![]() Episode 302: Leo Sayer Please don’t dance, Leo. We like you, your song is fun, But, good God, don’t dance! ![]() Episode 303: Roy Clark The Swinetrek’s toaster Allows some guests to pop in. It’s Beaker in spaaaaaaaaaace! ![]() Episode 304: Gilda Radner Don’t eat your veggies? Well, please meet my good friend, The Seven-Foot Carrot! ![]() Episode 305: Pearl Bailey Floyd’s suit of armor Has him down. And we’ll need a Crane to get him up. ![]() Episode 306: Jean Stapleton The Chef lives a lie. He doesn’t speak real Swedish. Geez, who can you trust? ![]() Episode 307: Alice Cooper Gee, that stalagmite Sure takes his oral hygiene For granite. (Sorry.) ![]() Episode 308: Loretta Lynn The Rhyming Song gang Should watch more Sesame Street And learn what rhymes are. ![]() Episode 309: Liberace I can’t decide what’s Creepier: Liberace Or those bird dancers… ![]() Episode 310: Marisa Berenson Piggy’s wedding plot Is thwarted by flying fish. That’s pretty crappie. ![]() Episode 311: Raquel Welch Raquel Welch turns on A bunch of horny Muppets. Watch out for felt burn! ![]() Episode 312: James Coco I’d like to be in An octopus’ garden … But not with that fish! ![]() Episode 313: Helen Reddy Sopwith the Camel Dances with Helen Reddy. My lifelong dream. Sigh. ![]() Episode 314: Harry Belafonte Beauregard almost Makes Harry’s opening song “The Onion Boat Song”. ![]() Episode 315: Lesley Ann Warren Lesley and Warren Make great guest stars. And they make A better salad! ![]() Episode 316: Danny Kaye Dull Clive Cahuenga Is still a lot better than That lousy Kaye guy. ![]() Episode 317: Spike Milligan There’s Spike Milligan! Quick, get the butterfly net And the straitjacket! ![]() Episode 318: Leslie Uggams “Then Gonzo hit on Big Bird!”, I struggle to say To my therapist. ![]() Episode 319: Elke Sommer Bobby Benson’s band Is just wrong. Won’t someone please Think of the children?! ![]() Episode 320: Sylvester Stallone Sly Stallone singing? Please bring back the Mummenschanz. At least they’re quiet. ![]() Episode 321: Roger Miller The pilgrim penguins Discover a bright, new land Of sneezing chickens. ![]() Episode 322: Roy Rogers and Dale Evans The show goes country. It’s a good thing Piggy’s gone Or she’d get hog-tied. ![]() Episode 323: Lynn Redgrave “Psst. How goes the night?” “Hmm. Quiet, but still.” “Still what?” “Still an awful joke!” ![]() Episode 324: Cheryl Ladd Piggy and Cheryl Enjoy being girls. Also: Thrashing helpless frogs. Thanks to David Beukema for the spiffy haiku! Click here to discuss sneezing chickens and vegetable guest stars on the Tough Pigs forum! ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com Labels: guest bloggers, poetry, the muppet show Subscribe to Posts [Atom] |
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