The Ugly Muppet Toy Pageant is a beloved feature here on Tough Pigs. It’s where we, the people who love Muppets and love spending our money on Muppet merchandise, look at pictures of aesthetically questionable Muppet merchandise and make jokes about how much we hate it.
It’s been a long time since the last Tough Pigs Ugly Muppet Toy Pageant. In fact, I just looked it up and the last one was in 2013! Wow! We were all so young and innocent then, and there were only six Fast and Furious movies. After that last pageant, I started to suspect that we had already found all the ugliest Muppet toys in the world. And there wasn’t exactly a massive flood of new Muppet toys being made.
In those years, I’ve had Muppet fans ask me the same question, time and time again: “Do you know your jacket still has the tag on it?”
But they also ask me “When will there be another Ugly Muppet Toy Pageant?” And you know what? It’s been long enough. There are years of hideous Muppet toys that weren’t around for past pageants — and in those years, Muppet fans have discovered plenty of horrifying toys from the old days!
So it’s time we had another pageant. It’s time to crown a new Really, Really, Really Ugly Toy… but I can’t do it without your help!
Send me photos of ugly Muppet toys! I’ll give you a few options for how to do this:
1. Use the Google Form at this link! (This is the preferred method!)
2. E-mail your entries to Ryan@ToughPigs.com
3. Share your entries in the comments on the social media platform where you found this article posted (Facebook, Bluesky, Discord)
You’re in luck, because you can send as many entries as you got. They can be old toys, they can be new toys. They can be from Sesame Street, The Muppet Show, Fraggle Rock, whatever. It could be an Elmo, a Kermit, a Mokey… heck, it could be an ugly Constantine if there is such a thing. Constantine hadn’t even been invented the last time we did this!
Just keep in mind this rule: Toys that are ugly because they’ve been beaten, abused, or manhandled don’t count. Only toys that were ugly straight outta the box. And I’ll probably disqualify anything that’s obviously homemade. So that thing you find on Etsy may not make it in.
Also: Whenever possible, please let me know the year the toy was made and the name of the company that made it.
The deadline for entries is January 26. Shortly after that, I’ll post a new Google Form presenting all the qualifying entries, and you’ll judge their ugliness and send in your votes and your color commentary. And then we’ll name the new winner, and then we’ll all shudder with disgust.
Gosh, I can’t wait to shudder with disgust.
Don’t delay! Send me your ugly toys today!
Click here to declare that beautiful’s out, ugly’s in on the Tough Pigs Discord!
by Ryan Roe – Ryan@ToughPigs.com