Previously, on Held Up for Ridicule: Muppet fans are bored these days, cause there’s no real news, and there’s only so many times you can talk about the Kermit underwear. So, in order to brighten these cold winter nights, we at Tough Pigs HQ are researching like mad to find new, shiny things to make jokes about.
Today’s topic: Bad Translations of Japanese Sesame Street Character Descriptions. Some might say that this topic is a bit of a stretch. They might even say that laughing at bad Japanese translations is one of the cheapest forms of humor available, and making fun of people just because they don’t speak your language is racist and immoral.
Those people, obviously, are ill-informed. Making fun of bad Japanese translations is not just funny, it’s insightful, and I can prove it.
The little poems that follow are excerpted from Tough Pigs’ Japanese sister site Che.Ki.La Sesame, using the magic of the Babel Fish Translator to translate from Japanese to English. They don’t just offer amusement, but also important secrets about the Sesame characters. Watch and learn, grasshopper.
Elmo
In the nose of orange potato type, like the hair whose fire truck color is red.
Always it has been about probably to overtake everyone of seniority. It wishes to know, at the house, “someone?” “with something?” “when?” “somewhere?” To shoot in rapid succession, immediately “why?” with it wishes to hear.
That enthusiasm it is contagious in the children. It becomes the help which finds the wonder of the world the around. Mostly, in the same way as 3 year old children, what is not understood is a large quantity, but you do not abandon under any condition.
The children who look at the TV, being youngest, being small, lag understand the fact that in everyone very is all right.
Cookie Monster
The big mouth may be eaten with anything.
You speak “monster language.” ME WANT COOKIE! The way assistance you have bought to the first step of language education of the children in gentle expression.
The Cookie Monster will obtain the food, that this observing at that you scheme, the children, problem is solved, use the instrument, obtain the help of the person and/or and so on, learn the fact that it is various methods.
Barkley
Hair solid and others dog of brown and white. Pure American mixed breed.
The person it is dense, but when inquiring about that sometimes you say, it is.
The other residents of the Sesame Street have suffered hardship hold down vigorous him.
Oscar
With the creature of the green color which has the big jaw, becomes dirty thin, you have lived in the trash box.
It is touchy, but truth is kind.
Being old, being embezzled, being broken, about those where is not useful, it is delightful in him. (With entering, that, the food and dangerous ones which rot… the fragment of the glass and the hardware et cetera which becomes pointed… is not.)
Concering the extraordinary characteristic and quick-tempered character of Oscar, when as for the children, as for the person you know that, is different respectively, the negative also the method of thinking they are feeling good ones the time, you understand.
Count
The kind of feeling which makes the villain of the Transylvania graduate of a certain famous movie comical.
After finishing to count, the thunder echoes.
The fact that it is learned the children are that the number shows the quantity with favor of the passion for the number of counts.
Zoe
Being enthusiastic in with anything, curiosity full she, in America, has already obtained the popularity of leading part class. The remainder where revolution of the head is quick, talks with patter there are also times when occasionally you stutter. Laughter feature.
The Japanese which presently is in the midst of selling you blow and change and in with as for the negotiating of element clear forcing Elmo see carefully necessary with edition video Elmo’s everyone the thing! Even with the Japanese TV broadcast active!
Slimey
The worm does not speak word, but very friendly.
At season 29 it starts to also moonflight.
by Danny Horn
