Click here for the runners-up!

2nd Runner Up


Guy Smiley plush
(Gund, 2004)
entered by John Hamilton

Score: 4.0

“What’s the other guy look like?”
– Scott Hanson

“It looks like he’s allergic to his own face.”
– Rachel Parton

“IT IS NOT A TUMA!”
– Justin Werfel

1st Runner Up


Vampire Fozzie plush
(Nanco, 2003)
entered by Kevin Williams

Score: 4.7

“Fozzie, you got more thighs than a bucket of chicken. Get on a treadmill, girlfriend!”
– John Hamilton

“I guess they achieved their goal. That’s scary, all right.”
– Grant Harding

“All he needs is the vampire broom and the vampire cauldron.”
– Justin Werfel

“He’s dressed like a witch, not a vampire, but he has Dracula teeth. Plus his jacket is five times too small. Then, on top of that, he just looks retarded.”
– Jeremy Wilcox

And now…

The Ugliest Toy of the Year!

uglytoys2005q
Fozzie mini-bean plush
(Sababa, 2004)
entered by Carolyn Wiesner

Score: 4.8 out of 5!

“I think he would be a loyal protector of the other Ugly Fozzies.”
– John Hamilton

“All the ugliness of a regular Fozzie doll in a convenient pocket size!”
– Mike Horner

“Comedy and tragedy in a single body.”
– Justin Werfel

“I see the problem… Somebody set this thing to Evil.”
– Kynan Barker

“The doll that comes with his own telethon.”
– Jay Fosgitt

So, that wraps it up for 2005! Now, this Sababa mini-Fozzie mess can take its place in the Ugly Toy hall of shame, along with the bug-eyed mini-Kermit, the Knickerbocker Big Bird fireman, and the Starbucks Gonzo. Who’ll take home the prize next year? I shudder to think.

Thanks to everybody who voted! Without you, I wouldn’t be hosting a Pageant at all, I’d just be sitting here… alone… with all these toys looking at me. And some of them look hungry. Same time next year

by Danny Horn

Pin It on Pinterest