Part 1 – Part 2
Skinny Blue, created by Quinn R
Target audience: Celebrities
Quinn says: “Skinny Blue” is a Paparazzi weasel who’s new to Sesame Street. The paparazzi realized that Sesame Street was a magnet for celebrities, and sent this blue-furred cretin to get some exclusive pictures. Somehow he became convinced that Oscar was related to the Academy Awards, and won’t leave him alone. With all the spoiled starlets out there, I figured that Sesame Street needs to make them feel like paparazzi are okay and misunderstood, much like Count von Count and Cookie Monster did for vampires and googly-eyed beasts.
Upside-Down Steve, created by Joe H
Target audience: Kids who walk on their hands
Joe says: You know what kids really love? Walking on their hands! You know what they love even more? Muppets who walk on their hands! Upside-down Steve has been walking on his hands for so long, he has forgotten how to walk upright. Oh, that crazy Steve! Most of his storylines involve looking for his missing shoe, which is ironic since he has no need for shoes.
Sister Mary Monster, created by Michal R
Target audience: Viewers seeking wholesomeness
Michal says: If you’ve taken part in the recent clamoring for a return to family values on television, we’d like to direct your full attention to Sister Mary Monster. Mary occasionally stops in at Hooper’s for a nice, tall glass of milk, but generally tends to mind her own business unless someone needs something to count. She doesn’t drink, she doesn’t smoke, she doesn’t swear, and she doesn’t engage in premarital sex. Or sex of any sort. Which, considering that she’s a Muppet, should be a given, but a surprising number of viewers consider this guarantee extremely valuable.
Reggie Monster, created by Leighanne M
Target audience: Sticklers
Leighanne says: Meet Reggie the Monster, who loves rules & regulations and makes his living updating them to suit the modern stickler. One of his favorite topics is food safety regulations, and he’s lobbying hard to get the Five Second Rule legally amended to .05 seconds for barber shops.
Artie, created by Kyle W
Target audience: Artists
Kyle says: Artie is a full body Muppet character with brownish fur. He loves to draw and paint. He moved to Sesame Street from Paris, and he wears a striped white and red shirt and a beret. He’s a little older than Big Bird, and has always wanted to be a famous artist. He’s fun but also doesn’t like criticism. Artie is fond of Baby Bear, who loves to draw with him. They both enjoy having fun with Hero Guy, and Artie really enjoys living on Sesame Street.
Naked Nate, created by Ryan R
Target audience: Nudists
Ryan says: Although characters like Big Bird and Snuffy never wear clothes, Nate will be the first humanoid Muppet to go au naturale. He just prefers to be nude, that’s all. Like most Sesame Street Muppets, Nate is normally only seen from the waist up, so there’s no need for concern over indecent exposure. But if the script ever calls for a wide shot, Nate’s unmentionable areas can simply be blocked out with a black censoring bar, which may be adorned with the number or letter of the day. Nate loves grabbing lunch at Hooper’s Store, but he’s run up a massive tab because he never has any cash on him, due to the fact that a naked dude has no pockets.
Unseen Muppet, created by Quinn R
Target audience: Agoraphobes
Quinn says: This Muppet is really just a pair of eyes up in a window on Sesame Street–an agoraphobe who would like to be out playing with Elmo, Big Bird, and others, but can’t bring himself to come out of his apartment and interact with them. Sometimes we catch a glimpse of him, but he’s usually just out of sight. This will send a message of some kind to the agoraphobic children of the U.S. that yes, they have a problem, but there are millions of others out there just like them. In their apartments.
Milkie, created by Joe H
Target audience: POG collectors
Joe: The year is 1992 and POGs are all the rage! Every kid in America had to collect as many as they could and bury their friends in the fiercest of competitions. There was no badge more honorable than that of your favorite pop culture characters and actors on small circular bits of cardboard. So Sesame Workshop created a Muppet to cater to POG-loving kids. Unfortunately, Milkie debuted in the fall of 1999, long after the death of both the POG fad and the retro-POG fad. Milkie is currently living out her days at the Muppet Workshop, keeping a wobbly desk stable.
Guitar Hero Guy, created by Michal R
Target audience: Guitar Hero experts
Michal says: For the all the Guitar Hero addicts out there who would watch Sesame Street, if only they could wrench their fingers away from their consoles long enough to change the channel, Guitar Hero Guy is not necessarily eager to be your friend, unless you’ve brought your own controller. Muppets and humans alike from the Sesame gang periodically approach this enigmatic little animated fellow, hoping to cajole him into singing the Alphabet Song or even to eat lunch, only to be rebuffed with remarks usually lost under the deafening strains of a Van Halen cover.
Connie, created by Leighanne M
Target audience: Muppet performers
Leighanne says: Here’s Connie, who’s more tailored to a certain demographic of Muppeteers than viewers: those darlin’ performers must get awfully tired some days, so Connie’s here for the good folks who just need to lie down and work their Muppet magic from a prone position.
Maxwell P. Stache, created by Ryan R
Target audience: Children with moustaches
Ryan: Kids these days are growing up faster than ever, and that means more and more of them have moustaches. Maxwell allows the Sesame writers to cover topics such as moustache-growing, moustache-grooming, and moustache-having. And through the marvels of modern puppet wizardry, Maxwell’s moustache can actually move. Look for “Moustache-Dancin’ Maxwell”¬ù to be the next massively successful, must-have toy craze. And depending on what market research reveals, the show could introduce a sister for Maxwell, to appeal to all those little girls out there with beards.
And that wraps it up. Thanks to everyone who submitted characters!
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by Ryan Roe – Ryan@ToughPigs.com