A couple of weeks ago during a hunger fueled hour, I wrote about five Muppet foods that looked delicious. During the course of searching Muppet Wiki for the tastiest treats, I also came across some that looked just awful. So why not pair up my other article with this one, and present to you Five Muppet Foods I Wouldn’t Like To Eat (because they aren’t appealing or I just don’t like that food)
1 – This Muppet Cake from Sesame Street
Listen, I love a good piece of cake as much as the next guy, but this cake isn’t doing it for me at all. The frosting looks like it’s either too thick or not thick enough in some parts. It looks entirely too sweet, as well. While it looks like it’s vanilla (which is my personal preference) there’s no way of knowing and I’m not sure that’s a risk I’m willing to take. I think it’d also require a big glass of milk to go with it, but I’ve never been a straight-milk drinker and I’m trying to cut down my caffeine intake so I don’t want a coffee. The eyes also terrify me because they’re not at all straight. I can’t tell if it’s supposed to have teeth either. Go away from me, cake.
2 – Leafy Green Vegetables from The Muppet Show: Sex and Violence
As I wrote in my piece a couple of weeks ago, I love my veggies, so this isn’t coming from a place of disgust at anything healthy. The character of Leafy Green Vegetables from the pilot of The Muppet Show might be the least appealing Muppet food of all. It’s difficult to distinguish what she is – a cabbage? A lettuce? Kale? She already looks like she’d taste bland and that she’s been boiled way too long in my grandmother’s pot. Unless you’ve got the richest creamiest cheese sauce imaginable, I want no part in eating this character. Be gone, Leafy Green Vegetables!
3 – Any Muppet Pumpkin
I know I’ll cop some blowback for this, but pumpkin is the world’s worst food. It’s no good in any capacity, so I don’t want it. It’s bad as a soup, it’s bad as a roast, it’s bad as a Muppet. Get rid of it. Close runner up is sweet potato, which is just pumpkin that’s lying about being a potato.
4 – Frankfurter from The Muppets Kitchen with Cat Cora
I love a hotdog so much, I may even have them for dinner tonight. American hotdogs are better than anything we get here in Australia, largely because the ones in the States are way saltier and my taste buds and high blood pressure thank you very much for that. Slathered in ketchup and mustard, oooh boy, my tummy is growling just thinking about it! That said, I still have class, so there is no way in heck I’m eating a Muppet frankfurter that has gone bad, like the one in an episode of The Muppets Kitchen with Cat Cora, a show so obscure now that I’ll bet a lot of you forgot it ever existed.
5 – Fozzie Bearnana from Studio DC Hosted by Selena Gomez
I’m not watching this again, I’m not acknowledging this again, you can’t make me, la la la la la la la la la I’m not listening la la la la la la la la la la la la la la.
By Jarrod Fairclough – Jarrod@ToughPigs.com
Click here to agree pumpkin is awful on the ToughPigs forum!