Most people, both Muppet fans and otherwise, have access to their five basic senses. Seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, touching. That’s five. Count ’em yourself if you don’t believe me. But there is a sixth sense which Muppet fans have and all other mundies yearn for. I call this sense, The Sixth Sense. Catchy, no?
Now you may be asking yourself, “What is this Sixth Sense? And how do I know if I have it? And how are my thoughts being projected into a Muppet blog?” These are all valid questions, though we’ll only have time for the first two.
Before we delve into the fascinating world of heightened senses, let’s take a look at the original five. See what I did there? We’re taking a look! That’s one of the senses! I’m so clever.
The truth is, a Muppet fan’s perspective on almost all things is different from the rest of the world. For example, a Muppet fan does not see things. A Muppet fan chooses a set of eyes from a drawer to go with his or her character for the day. Also acceptable options are a hat that covers the eyes or a pair of glasses with no eyeballs.
Much like Howie Mandel, Muppet fans don’t talk about touching. We talk about our feelings. Nothing more than feelings.
Our sense of smell is another thing entirely. All Muppet fans know that not everyone has a nose. And yet, some people have noses in abundance. Then, there’s the lucky few with detachable noses (for narrow garages).
All Muppet fans know that one does not necessarily need ears to be able to hear. This is especially true if one is a frog, a monster, a grouch, a dinger, a snuffleupagus, a fraggle, a chicken, a musician, or a boomerang fish thrower.
And there’s little that Muppet fans are more familiar with than bad taste.
For those of you who are skimming this article, here is a visual representation of the first five senses, according to a Muppet fan.
As for The Sixth Sense, it is the ability to sense Muppets wherever they are. Confused? Rightfully so. A Muppet fan with this talent can look down the aisle of a toy store and immediately spot the lone Grover toy on the shelf. This person can open a book and his or her eyes will be immediately drawn to the word “Henson.” This person can skim through a magazine and stop on the ad for Fraggle Rock DVDs. The sensation is automatic and unconscious, and it comes in handy when browsing for used Sesame Street books.
But how, I say, how do you check to see if you have this superpower? I have set up a series of tests so you can deduce whether or not you possess The Sixth Sense.
First, scan the article below. Do NOT read it, but scan it with your eyes. See if you can spot the Muppet references quickly.
Once upon a time, there was a guy named Jim Hanson. Hanson loved muffins, and he loved puppets. Muffins and puppets, puppets and muffins. He wasn’t too keen on frog juggling. No sir, there was no frog jugglers to be had. Sometimes he would indulge in sesame seeds. Maybe sesame seeds on his muffin. Maybe he’d juggle sesame muffins. But probably not. Or maybe his friend Karmin would juggle Hanson’s sesame muffins. So, to recap, puppet-fan Hanson’s sesame muffins will be frog-juggled by Karmin. Henson’s fraggle sesame street kermit muppets with fries. Juggling sesame muffins by Karmin for puppet Hanson. Hanson puppets juggle frogs for Karmin’s sesame muffins. The gray squirrel eats acorns at midnight.
Did you catch the Muppet references? How long did it take you? That long, huh? Well, maybe you’ll have more luck with the next test.
In this test, there are 100 images. Hidden in the faces are 10 Muppets. See how fast you can spot them all! Well? What are you doing still reading this? Go find Muppets!!
Did you find all ten? Hooray! Now for the final part of the test. Blindfold yourself and go to your local toy store. Wait, maybe you should blindfold yourself after driving to the toy store. Now, ask the elderly toy store employee to lead you to the preschool toy aisle. As fast as you can, rip off your blindfold and purchase at least $50 worth of Sesame Street merchandise. I would suggest the TMX Cookie Monster and anything with that adorable Abby Cadabby on it. Then run it back home and mail them to: Joe, c/o ToughPigs.com, Anytown, USA.
Did you do it? Well then congratulations, you just confirmed that you indeed have The Sixth Sense! Please be advised, you must follow the sacred code that goes along with having The Sixth Sense. You must never use your powers for evil. If the need arises, you may don tights and a cape to fight crime, but only if there isn’t already a Superman knockoff in your hometown. And lastly, be excellent to each other.
Click here to smell this article on the ToughPigs forum!