Kermit and Miss Piggy on CNBC’s Al Roker Show
February 17, 1996
So, are you ready for more pulse-pounding Muppet interview action? Check out what happens when Kermit and Miss Piggy go on the road together, to promote Muppet Treasure Island…
Al
Welcome back to the Al Roker program… We are here with the stars of Muppet Treasure Island.
Piggy
Oh, you’re too kind.
Al
Yes. And I don’t know which I should do… Should I introduce you, Miss Piggy, first?
Kermit
Oh, sure.
Al
Kermit, who gets top billing?
Kermit
Ladies first. Ladies first.
Al
Then, ladies and gentlemen…
Kermit
Well, I get top billing, but ladies first.
Piggy
Me. ME. ME.
Al
Miss Piggy…
Piggy
Yes.
Al
… and Kermit.
Piggy
Don’t you have some adjectives in front of Miss Piggy?
Al
The incredible, the fabulous…
Piggy
Keep goin’.
Al
… the incomparable…
Piggy
I’ll take it; I’ll take it. Thank you, Al.
Al
… the amazing…
Piggy
Thank you, dear!
Al
The… porcine…
Piggy
All right! That’ll do! Cut it! CHILL!
Al
All right. That’s it. And of course… Kermit the Frog.
Piggy
Oh, yeah. Him.
Kermit
I’m happy with that. Don’t need the adjectives. Thank you.
Al
Now, you guys have worked together in so many movies…
Piggy
Wait, Al, didn’t you get married recently?
Al
Yes, I did.
Piggy
How long have you been married?
Al
I’ve been married for five months now.
Piggy
And are you happy?
Al
I am very, very happy.
Piggy
[to Kermit] He is very HAPPY being married.
Kermit
Uh huh. Ahem.
Piggy
That’s all. I just wanted to say that.
Kermit
Next!
Al
I detect a little tension, uh…
Piggy
There’s no tension, Al.
Kermit
No, there’s no tension, Al.
Piggy
I just wanted him to know that there are HAPPY marriages. Yes, Al?
Al
Yes. Commitment.
Piggy
COMMITMENT!
Kermit
I know that. I KNOW that!
Piggy
Frogs don’t understand commitment.
Al
They don’t! Really.
Kermit
I do. I understand that.
Piggy
You understand, Al.
Al
Well, I do, but I would think somebody as —
Piggy
Because you got MARRIED.
Al
Well, yes, I did.
Piggy
Fine.
Al
Yes, yes. I did. But, y’know, sitting on a lily pad, I would think, takes commitment too. Doesn’t it, Kermit?
Kermit
Sure. Sure. Oh, listen. It takes —
Piggy
What is this, mano a mano against el piggo, here?
Al
It’s a guy thing.
Kermit
It’s a guy thing!
Al
It’s a guy bonding…
Kermit
Sitting out on the lily pad.
Piggy
Fine! Fine. I’ll go find a pig thing to talk about.
Kermit
Yeah! Like the sty!
Al
Uh oh…
Kermit
Or eating SLOP!
Piggy
I just, I — Are you going to hurt me, in front of Al?
Kermit
Oh, am I going to hurt you in front of Al?
Piggy
Well, you’re saying sty, and slop, and all those things…
Kermit
What, that hurt?
Al
Guys, guys, guys…
Kermit
I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Piggy
Butt OUT, Al!
Al
Okay… I’ll just… You guys work this out.
Piggy
Oh, sorry. Go ahead.
Kermit
No, no. Go ahead.
Al
Well, I just was wondering, with this kind of… closeness… did you have any problems together while you were doing Muppet Treasure Island? I mean, any…
Kermit
Well… We, uh, did one scene together that was a little, uh, that took a little bit of, uh, work…
Piggy
What?
Kermit
You know, our one, we had kind of an argument scene…
Piggy
What?
Kermit
In the movie. You remember that scene?
Piggy
No.
Kermit
You know, we’re sitting by the water… and, uh, you know, the whole scene about where I supposedly — supposedly!
Al
Supposedly…
Kermit
Left her at the altar, and all that stuff… Remember that scene?
Piggy
No.
Kermit
You don’t remember that scene?
Piggy
Mm-mmm.
Al
Do you guys… Are you like this all the time?
Piggy
Ohhh! THAT scene!
Kermit
Yes, you know.
Piggy
All that I remember is… See, when moi acts, moi is enveloped in the mood, and I just don’t see anything else, that’s all.
Al
You really enjoy that word, “moi.” Don’t you, Miss Piggy?
Piggy
Well, it’s French.
Al
Yes! Yes. The language of love.
Piggy
It has flair, and love. Yes, exactly, Al. You know, because you’re married.
Al
Yes. Yes, I am.
Kermit
Sheesh!
Piggy
You know about love and commitment, cause you’re married.
Al
I am. I am, Miss Piggy.
Piggy
And you must love her. Very Much. Don’t you, Al?
Al
Yes! Yes, I do. Yes. Yes.
Piggy
I suppose you’re both going to see Treasure Island together.
Kermit
Piggy! Will you stop this! We need to get on with the interview, okay?
Al
That’s right. In fact, I’m going to be taking my daughter, who is nine years old, Courtney…
Piggy
Ahhh!
Kermit
Oh, yeah?
Al
Yes, she’s looking forward to it.
Piggy
Oh, you have children!
Al
Well, I… I have a child…
Kermit
Al… You’re making this very tough on me.
Al
I’m sorry, Kermit.
Kermit
I know you don’t mean to be, Al, but um…
Piggy
I’m sorry. Just go ahead.
Al
Well, you guys have had a torrid affair, a love that has gone through the ages…
Kermit
What?
Al
When are you gonna finally get married?
Kermit
Well, uh — I — uh — Al, I have to say that, you know, way back in the old days, there might have been a little spark between us, but these days, our relationship is just extremely professional.
Al
Oh, really.
Kermit
Yes. That’s all there is.
Al
So, it’s not a romantic thing anymore?
Kermit
Well, no. Only on the screen.
Piggy
Al? Al.
Al
Yes.
Piggy
We’re adults.
Al
Mm-hmm.
Piggy
Kermie has his life…
Kermit
Yes.
Piggy
Moi have my life. We have our own separate lives.
Kermit
Yup.
Piggy
It’s at night… that we go gangbusters.
Kermit
Wait a minute!
Al
Oh, well! Now, is it true, I’ve heard about you and Costner… I’ve heard your name linked with Stallone…
Piggy
Mmm-hmm.
Kermit
Stallone?
Piggy
My publicist has been workin’ overtime!
Al
Banderas…
Kermit
You’ve been with Antonio Banderas? Gee…
Piggy
I have not BEEN with Tony…
Kermit
No, but you’ve been… been seen with…
Piggy
Tony and I talk.
Kermit
Tony?
Piggy
Long distance. We talk.
Kermit
Sheesh.
Al
You guys… on screen, you’ve got magic, you’ve got the chemistry… After all these years, is it difficult to summon that up, when you’re performing, for example, in the movie?
Piggy
No, fortunately, pigs — it comes naturally. Passion comes naturally to pigs.
Al
Passion comes naturally to pigs!
Kermit
Passion comes naturally to pigs?
Al
I didn’t know that.
Piggy
Oh, yes. Oh, yes. You should read up on it, Al.
Al
I guess I’m gonna have to.
Piggy
Frogs have problems. Passion and commitment.
Al
But they also have… they have tadpoles.
Piggy
Fortunately, he thinks moi am gangbusters.
Al
Oh, this is good.
Kermit
Oh, I think that?
Piggy
Mm-hmm.
Kermit
I think that?
Piggy
That’s what you said last night.
Kermit
Were you impressed, Miss Piggy, with his swordplay, with Tim Curry in the movie?
Piggy
He’s excellent. Very, very macho.
Kermit
Oh, thank you. I had to learn to do all that. I’ve never done that before.
Al
Did you do all your own stunts in the movie?
Kermit
I did all my own stunts. I certainly did. I had a trainer, who coached me in swordfighting.
Al
Because I noticed that you look a little pumped up.
Kermit
Well, I’ve been working out.
Piggy
Look at those arms! Show him the arms!
Al
And those legs… it’s incredible.
Piggy
Look at the muscles! [ Kermit strikes a bodybuilder pose ] See that? Look at that.
Al
Wow!
Kermit
What do you think, huh?
Al
Jump back, Schwarzenegger.
Kermit
There you go.
Al
I’m tellin’ ya.
Kermit
Hop back, Kermit!
Al
Whoo-ee. Now, besides the movie, you guys are going to have a new TV show on ABC.
Kermit
That’s true.
Piggy
Muppets Tonight. It’s a new Muppet show. It’s about the Muppets putting on a television show.
Kermit
That’s right. And we have lots of great guest stars, like we have Michelle Pfeiffer, and Billy Crystal, Martin Short. You know. Garth Brooks. Lots of great people.
Al
You must have kids and adults coming up to you all the time, saying how much you’ve meant to them, how much your performances have made them happy, made them smile. How does that make you guys feel?
Kermit
Well, y’know, every time I have an adult come up to me and say that, I stand up as tall as I can, I look ’em right in the kneecap, and I say, “Thank you very much!” You know? It means a lot to me.
Al
And of course that’s not to say that you’ve been around so long that people have grown up with you, Miss Piggy.
Piggy
Not that long.
Al
No. I mean, because you started when you were a mere piglet.
Piggy
Yes. But the truth is, moi feels very, very wonderful. I’m blessed.
Kermit
Well, I am very proud to say, Al, that I am actually celebrating my fortieth birthday this year.
Al
You — That is incredible!
Kermit
I am forty years old this year. But, you know, that’s only in people years. I think I show it pretty well.
Al
And you obviously have had no work done, as some movie stars have done…
Kermit
Oh, no. Absolutely not. Not a stitch here.
Al
No. And Miss Piggy? Can you make that same claim?
Piggy
What?
Kermit
I, uh — I think we better move on to the next question, before one of us gets hurt.
Piggy
Did I — did I hear you right? Are you suggesting that moi has had some things going on here?
Al
No! No. You look fabulous. And you — well, y’know what? I think that’s probably a good place to leave it… The Muppets…
Piggy
Are you suggesting…
Al
Don’t forget — opening up… Muppet Treasure Island…
Kermit
It’s nothing…
Piggy
What is he talking about?
Al
Miss Piggy… and Kermit the Frog…
Piggy
Is he talking about a face lift?
Al
No! Never.
Piggy
I’m gonna lift his face!
Kermit
Nothing like that. No, no.
Al
I’m Al Roker… We’ll see you next time…
Piggy
Want to get your face lifted?
Al
No, no, no!
Piggy
Bam! To the moon!
Al
No, no, no! Good night, everybody!
Piggy
Let’s get outta here.
Kermit
Uh… sorry about that, Al.
