In 2009, Disney held their biennial D23 Expo in Anaheim, and for the first time, we were privy to an entire press release full of new and exciting information about the Muppets. The list of announcements were staggering. A new movie, classic DVDs, a ton of merch, a huge online presence, and more gave us hope that the Muppets were on their way back into the limelight.
Now, five years have passed, and we’re reminded of that hopeful time (oh, how young we were!), which means we have to ask the question: Did Disney follow through with their promises? We’re going to take each of the announcements, one-by-one, and reveal what came to pass and what got dropped.
The Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever Made
The biggest announcement was the Jerry Juhl/Frank Oz-penned Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever Made, which would’ve seen the Muppets attempt to create their own movie on a shoestring budget after Gonzo blows all their cash on the opening sequence. As we all know, this script was passed over in favor of Jason Segel’s script, The Muppets, which did give the brand a much-needed push. So, did we get a new Muppet movie? Yes. But did we get the one we were promised? No, that one stays in the vault.
Result: Canceled.
A Muppet Halloween Special
The Muppets have about 740 Christmas specials under their belt, so it makes a lot of sense that they’d take a shot at another holiday. It’s a shame that this one never happened, as it could’ve given a lot of exposure to any number of Muppet monsters, and it could’ve been something ABC could air every October to compete with It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Sadly, it almost seemed as if this project wasn’t as much canceled as it was forgotten.
Result: Dead.
Muppet Cooking Show with Cat Cora
Yep, this one made its way into our hearts and homes. And now Angelo is everyone’s favorite Muppet! Where would we be without him and his Crocs and his mole and his indeterminate accent? The web series had its moments (usually the stuff not having to do with the bland Cat Cora), but now it’s just a footnote in Muppet history.
Result: Dinner has been served.
More Muppet Viral Videos
Aside from the feature films, the Muppets’ YouTube videos have been some of the best new content we’ve seen in years. After the big D23 announcement, we got such classics as “Stand By Me” sung by Carl the Big Mean Bunny, “Dust in the Wind” performed by Beaker, and “Bohemian Rhapsody”, which is the winningest thing to ever happen to the internet.
Result: This is the real life. This is not just fantasy.
Updates to Muppet*Vision 3D and Mobile Muppet Theme Park Attractions
Technically, Muppet*Vision got an update soon after D23. The film’s projection was updated to the fancy Disney Digital 3D, and new posters were added to the queue. Director David Gumpel filmed some new pre-show material in 2008, which may have been the big update Disney was hinting at, but that stuff never made it into the attraction. A few years later, the waiting room area got an update featuring Constantine, but there’s no way they knew they’d be doing that back in 2009. Meanwhile, we were promised more appearances in the Disney theme parks by Bunsen and Beaker’s Muppet Mobile Labs, though we haven’t heard about any appearances since then. And Disney announced the development of another mobile attraction – The Electric Mayhem’s bus – which never came to be. And as we all know now, the Muppets’ theme park presence is slowly but surely fading away.
Result: This 3-D fell flat.
Updates to the Muppet Whatnot Workshop
The Muppet Whatnot Workshop, currently at the FAO Schwarz flagship store in New York City, was expected to expand to the Disney theme parks. I’m a little more than surprised that this never happened, mainly because it seems like an easy cash grab for Disney. While we never did get a second (or third or fourth?) Whatnot Workshop, they did promise and deliver new accessories for the Whatnots, including monster fur, mustaches, and teeth.
Result: Mix-and-match.
The Muppets Revisited Album
The album, later retitled “The Green Album”, featured current musicians covering classic Muppet tunes. The end result was a little hit-or-miss, but you’ve got to hand it to Disney for making the effort. It’s almost a shame that it was made a little too early to include any of the new Bret McKenzie-penned songs from the movies. Maybe there’s a little room in the budget for a “Green Album II”?
Result: Gone platinum.
Studio DC: Almost Live on DVD
Not that anyone was asking for it, but this low point in Muppet history technically made its way to DVD. Just not anywhere near us. Both episodes of the special were compiled into one DVD and sold in Germany, Latin America, and South America. And while I’ll be forever disappointed that my Muppet DVD collection is missing an installment, I think I’ll be okay without this one bringing down the property value of my home.
Result: Really? This is on DVD and not seasons 4 and 5?
“From the Balcony” Book
Maybe it’s for the best that this book never got made, assuming it would be anything like the painfully awful Miss Piggy book, “The Diva Code“, and Pepe’s equally awful book, “It’s Hard Out Here for a Shrimp“. Not only would a book of directionless insults and old geezer jokes get tired fast, but it might’ve been based on the mediocre “From the Balcony” web series. So basically: Doomed to be heckled.
Result: Boo. Hiss.
New Muppet Toys
The overly-expensive Steiff dolls, the adorably off-model Pook-a-Looz, and the infuriatingly collectible Vinylmation were all announced, and Disney came through. No matter what you think of the stuff on the shelf, we should just be happy that there was anything on the shelf at all. Especially considering how little we ended up with during a time when the Muppets were hot hot hot but there wasn’t anything for fans both new and old to spend their money on.
Result: Up on the shelf.
More Muppet Merch
Disney stores had a bunch of new merchandise in the “Green and Loving It” product line like tote bags, t-shirts, and stationery at time when being “green” was a hot topic. They ran their course and faded away, but that’s alright, it was great seeing a little focus on Kermit for a while. We also saw the Muppet Halloween costumes that were announced at D23, the Hallmark Christmas ornaments (which continue to be released every year), and some Muppet parody posters that I never actually saw in real life, but that’s probably because I don’t peruse through the posters at the FYE at the mall anymore.
Result: Maxed out my credit card.
TV Appearances
The Muppets were slated to make a whole bunch of TV appearances back in 2009, including the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, Andrea Bocelli’s Christmas special, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, America’s Funniest Home Videos, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, and the Walt Disney World Christmas Day Parade. And we were pleased to see that each one of these came to pass. Of course, the Muppets have made dozens more (and more memorable) appearances since then, so these are all pretty easy to forget. But hey, Muppets on TV. That’s usually a good thing!
Result: Tuned in.
Muppet iPhone Apps and Mobile Comics
With the recent news that the only substantial Muppet iPhone app is being discontinued, it’s even sadder to see that there were more smartphone apps in the works that were never released. Valentine’s Day, 2010 would’ve given us “Pepe’s Love Meter App”, where you shake your smartphone to try and make a thermometer rise. That summer, we would’ve gotten “Gonzo Grams”, which I presume would’ve been an e-card service. There would be something called “The Statler and Waldorf Theater App”, which I guess would make fun of your Instagram photos or something. And BOOM! Studios started work on animated versions of the Muppet Show comics, but only a short test video was ever completed. And now? We are left with the Band-Aid app. Yay.
Result: Deleted.
The Muppet Show Season 4 on DVD
Don’t. Don’t even get me started.
Result: COME ON, DISNEY.
So as you can see, Disney fulfilled about half of their promises from that fateful day at D23. And we all know that the ratio would be a lot worse if most of those hadn’t already been in production by the time of the Expo. And who knows, maybe they had a 10-year plan? Could The Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever Made be around the corner? Might the Muppet Mobile Lab return with an all-new Muppet*Vision show? Is it even worth holding out any hope for season 4 of The Muppet Show on DVD?
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by Joe Hennes – Joe@ToughPigs.com
