By the year 2004, variety shows on television were already in a comatose state when they were finally put out of their misery with The Nick and Jessica Variety Hour. With no viable outlet left for celebrities to sing and dance and make up funny skits, there hasn’t been much hope for The Muppets to find their space on television.
Who’s that stopping the Locomotion with his bare hands? Racing faster than a speeding Buick? Leaping over tall buildings like they were homeless people sleeping in the street? It’s.. the Internet!
Yes, the good old time-wasting internet, cleverly disguised as mild-mannered education and technology! With the powers it inherited from its home planet YouTube, it has brought songs and puppets and entertainment straight to the thing you’re staring at right now.
The Swedish Chef, Gonzo, Beaker, and Statler and Waldorf have all started their own YouTube accounts, along with a brand-flipping new video from each (or 4 videos from the old farts). Take a gander at what our furry friends hath brought:
(See our previous article about this video by clicking here)
The question remains: Now that they’ve covered unintelligible Public Domain songs and generic negative video reviews, what could they possibly do next? I’ve come up with a few suggestions, just in case Kermit and friends have stooped low enough to troll the blogs for ideas.
-“Ask a Penguin”, in which a penguin answers e-mails from viewers. Unfortunately, every episode is read in the “Waak waak waak” of penguin talk, and the advice is always to eat more fish.
-“Leave Annie Sue Alone”, where a teary-eyed, mascara’ed Scooter begs viewers to stop harassing the former starlet (and current dentist’s assistant).
-“lonelyvalleygirl15”, a video blog by Janice in which she reminisces about her time as a child actress on Muppet Babies. Rumors abound that all of her accounts are fictionalized, as nobody can find proof of a “Baby Janice”.
-“Will It Blend (My Assistant)?”, in which Dr. Bunsen Honeydew places his associate Beaker in a giant blender with different objects, such as a Gorilla Detector or Robot Rabbit, to see which will become horribly disfigured first.
-“Every Other Day”, where Bobo the Bear takes his own picture every day for a year. Unfortunately, since Bobo doesn’t move much, the project is completely ineffective.
-“Kermie Girl”, starring an overly excited Miss Piggy as she proclaims her love for her favorite frog through song. There is still no word as to how badly this will affect Kermit’s campaign for the Presidency.
Normally, this article would be considered parody. But nowadays with the all-around wackiness of YouTube, these videos could actually happen. So if you see a picture of a penguin dressed as a ninja, let me know so I can demand my 10%.
Click here to share your ideas for Muppet videos on the ToughPigs forum!