Troubled Waiter
Part 3: Super Size Me
| Fat Blue
|
Uh, waiter… Waiter? |
| (Grover runs up.) | |
| Grover
|
Yes, sir! Oh, oh, it is YOU again! Well, it is certainly nice having you back again, sir! |
| Fat Blue
|
Yeah. Hmmm. |
| Grover
|
Yes, now, what may I do for you? |
| Fat Blue
|
Well, I’d — |
| Grover
|
Would you like to see a menu? |
| Fat Blue
|
No, I’d like a hamburger, please. |
| Grover
|
Oh, a hamburger! |
| Fat Blue
|
Yes. |
| Grover
|
Very good choice! |
| Fat Blue
|
Mmmm. |
| Grover
|
AND — you have another choice. You see, the hamburger in our restaurants comes in two sizes. |
| Fat Blue
|
Oh? |
| Grover
|
We have a little hamburger, and we have a big hamburger. |
| Fat Blue
|
Hmmm. |
| Grover
|
May I suggest you take the little hamburger. |
| Fat Blue
|
Huh. All right, lemme see it. |
| Grover
|
All right! Very good thing, one little hamburger, right away. |
| Fat Blue
|
Make it very rare! |
| Grover
|
Yes, sir. |
| (Grover exits into the kitchen.) | |
| Grover
|
Singe another bitty, Charlie! |
| Fat Blue
|
I get that dingaling every time I come in here… |
| Grover
|
All righty, you said you wanted it very rare, there is our little hamburger, sir. |
| Fat Blue
|
Wow! That certainly IS little. |
| Grover
|
Isn’t it SWEET? |
| Fat Blue
|
Yeah. That’s hardly enough to feed a flea! |
| Grover
|
I would not know, sir. We have never had a flea here before! Ha! Hee hee heeee… woo hoo! Phew. That’s a waiter joke. |
| Fat Blue
|
Well, don’t wait for the laugh. |
| Grover
|
Aww. |
| Fat Blue
|
Look, I don’t want this hamburger. |
| Grover
|
You do not. |
| Fat Blue
|
It’s too small. Take this one back, and bring me the big one. |
| Grover
|
Oh, no, no, no. What you want is another little one, maybe, you know, three, or four little ones. But we have been having a LOT of trouble with the big hamburger. |
| Fat Blue
|
Look, your trouble is no concern of mine. |
| Grover
|
Uh, but, sir, I told you that — |
| Fat Blue
|
I want the big one! Take back this little one. |
| Grover
|
No, no, no, here, let me sit down and talk. I think you’re making a big mistake. You see — first of all, I — |
| Fat Blue
|
Will you BRING ME A BIG HAMBURGER!!! |
| Grover
|
Wwaaaagghh! Yes, sir! |
| Fat Blue
|
I haven’t got all day! |
| Grover
|
All right, I warned you, I warned you. |
| (Grover exits to the kitchen.) | |
| Grover
|
All right, Charlie… BROIL THE BIGGIE! |
| Fat Blue
|
Boy, imagine the nerve of that guy, trying to tell me what I want! I know what I want, I want the… |
| Fat Blue
|
… big… ham… bur… |
KERRR-ASSSSHHH! |
| Grover
|
Oh… sir… would you like, with the ketchup, the little bottle or the big bottle? |
| Grover
|
Whoooa-oa-oa! |
(Grover falls under the weight of the big hamburger. Fat Blue shrugs and walks away.) |
by Danny Horn
