Troubled Waiter
Part 2: Food Shortage
| Fat Blue
|
A cup of coffee, a sandwich, and you-hoo… Oh, waiter! |
| (Grover runs by.) | |
| Grover
|
Just a moment, sir! |
| Fat Blue
|
Oh. |
| (Grover runs by again.) | |
| Fat Blue
|
Uh, waiter! |
| Grover
|
Just a second! |
| Fat Blue
|
Awww… every time I come here! |
(Grover approaches the table.) |
| Fat Blue
|
WAITER!!! |
| Grover
|
Wwwaaaggghhhhgg! |
| (Grover falls down.) | |
| Fat Blue
|
Oh. Sorry. |
| Grover
|
Please — do not — do that. Phew! |
| Fat Blue
|
I’m ready to order now. |
| Grover
|
Oh! Ahem. Very good, sir. I am your waiter, Grover. |
| Fat Blue
|
Yeah. |
| Grover
|
I lost my nametag. |
| Grover
|
Uh, have you perused our menu? |
| Fat Blue
|
Yes, I have. |
| Grover
|
Very good. Before you order, it is my duty — as a waiter and a gentlemonster — to tell you that we do not have ALL of the things on the menu. We have been very, very busy, and we only have SOME of the things on the menu left. |
| Fat Blue
|
Oh. |
| Grover
|
SOME of the things. |
| Fat Blue
|
Not ALL of the things. |
| Grover
|
Not all. SOME. |
| Fat Blue
|
SOME. |
| Grover
|
Mmm hmm. |
| Fat Blue
|
Oh, well. Thanks for telling me. |
| Grover
|
Yes, sir. |
| Fat Blue
|
Let’s see… Do you have the turkey? |
| Grover
|
Uh, the turkey. Uh, no, I am sorry, sir, we are all out of the turkey. |
| Fat Blue
|
Uh, well… spinach salad looks good, how about that? |
| Grover
|
Does look good, but we do not have that. |
| Fat Blue
|
Oh. Uh, tunafish? |
| Grover
|
Mmmm… nope! |
| Fat Blue
|
Artichokes, swiss cheese, fruit cup, country ribs? |
| Grover
|
No… no… uhhhh, no… and… no. |
| Fat Blue
|
Ohhh. I thought you said you had SOME of the things on the menu! |
| Grover
|
Well, we do! We do, we do! |
| Fat Blue
|
Like what? |
| Grover
|
We have milk. |
| Fat Blue
|
MILK? |
| Grover
|
Yes! |
| Fat Blue
|
That’s all, just milk? |
| Grover
|
Yes! Well… that’s not ALL, milk is good! Yes! We have milk, yes! |
| Fat Blue
|
But, that’s — that’s not SOME things, that’s just ONE thing! SOME things would be milk, and cookies, and melba toast, or something! But you only have ONE thing! Not SOME! |
| Grover
|
So? We only have ONE thing! ONE thing! Better one than none! Right, sir? |
| Fat Blue
|
Well… yes, I guess so, uh… |
| Grover
|
Yes. Now, sir. |
| Fat Blue
|
Okay, yeah. Bring me a glass of milk. |
| Grover
|
I’m sorry, I cannot do that, sir. |
| Fat Blue
|
Well, why not? You said you had milk! |
| Grover
|
Oh, we do, we do have milk, sir. |
| Fat Blue
|
Well? |
| Grover
|
But we are all out of glasses. |
| Fat Blue
|
Ohhhhh… |
| Grover
|
I tell you, sir, I can offer you a saucer of milk. How about a bucket of milk. |
| (Fat Blue gets up.) | |
| Fat Blue
|
That’s disgusting. |
| (Fat Blue walks away. Grover calls after him.) | |
| Grover
|
Uh, sir? Sir, how about a tub of milk? Sir? |
by Danny Horn
