Original Air Date: February 24, 1978
Peter Sellers was a gifted actor and one of the most versatile comic performers of the 20th century. And because of The Muppet Show, I spent years of my life thinking of him as a cruel sadist who couldn’t be trusted.
When I was a kid, my local video store had a copy of Muppet Treasures, which should not be confused with Muppet Treasure Island. Muppet Treasures was one of a series of home video releases compiling clips from The Muppet Show. Among the clips featured on this one was the sketch from this episode in which Peter Sellers plays an eccentric masseuse who does some unconventional massage work on a hapless Link Hogthrob. The clip on the VHS tape was my first experience with this sketch.
It starts out innocently enough, with Link stretched out on a table and Sellers entering the scene as a character similar to his ex-Nazi scientist from Dr. Strangelove. Which might not sound that innocent, but of course, Kid Ryan didn’t know anything about Dr. Strangelove. The masseuse begins by taking a barbell and rolling it up Link’s leg, wrapping the entire leg around the barbell in the process.
Which is where I started to have an issue with it. Link sort of chuckles and agrees that yes, that feels good, but we know Link is the kind of guy who isn’t quick to show vulnerability (until he reaches a breaking point, and then he’s nothing but vulnerability). After the masseuse repeats the excruciating process, it gets even worse. Masseuse Strangelove picks up Link’s right leg, pulls it all the way to Link’s shoulder, and SLAMS it on the table. Then the left leg – SLAM! Link is absolutely in pain now. Peter Sellers is laughing. Kid Ryan was horrified. Why is this happening?
At the end of the sketch, Sellers leaves Link with his limbs tied in knots… and WALKS AWAY! Link cries out for help, but there’s no one there. To Kid Ryan, this was no laughing matter. The message was clear: The world is full of pain. Those who are supposed to help you will only hurt you. And you’ll be left alone.
Can you think of another time the Muppets did a similar gag? I can… In the hospital scene in The Muppets Take Manhattan, when Linda Lavin’s doctor performs a series of nonsensical tests on Kermit, twisting his arms and watching them spring back into place. I never had a problem with that scene, but there’s a significant difference. Kermit watches passively as the doctor disfigures him, but Link is obviously in great discomfort. Kid Ryan found it impossible to laugh at the sketch, and considered esteemed actor Peter Sellers to be nothing but a big meanie-head.
Re-watching the episode for this review, I was reminded of something important that was omitted from the Muppet Treasures compilation. Immediately after the sketch, the knotted-up Link appears backstage and tells Kermit that was the best massage he’d ever had, which makes all the difference. It implies that although “Link” the sketch character may have been miserable, Link the actor loved it! If only Kid Ryan had known about that one line, he wouldn’t have spent so many years so stressed out at the very thought of Peter Sellers.
You know who else is stressed out? Kermit the Frog. Various Muppets and guest stars and props keep appearing and disappearing suddenly and without warning or explanation. The frog finally learns why in a “Muppet Labs” sketch late in the episode, when Bunsen Honeydew demonstrates his teleportation machine.
This is an unusual structure for a backstage storyline, isn’t it? Usually they introduce something wacky like the show being cancelled or the show being affected by a disease that turns everyone into chickens, and then that wacky thing proceeds to affect the rest of the show. Off the top of my head I can’t think of any other examples of a backstage story starting as a mystery that gets revealed in a sketch. Even the Twiggy episodes “Phantom of the Muppet Theater” story lets the audience in on the secret of Uncle Deadly fairly early on. (But I can’t wait to be proven wrong! Go ahead – tell me what I’m forgetting.)
Kermit’s stress levels reach an apex when the curtain goes up but there’s nothing onstage. So he just sings “Bein’ Green,” and it’s lovely. Good thing he always has that to fall back on.
Best Joke: In the opening number, Sellers plays a violinist who asks his audience if they have any requests. One onlooker shouts out, “Yeah, but you’re gonna play anyway!”
MVM (Most Valuable Muppet): Gonzo! He shines in his song (see below). He rides a motorcycle backstage. And when Kermit explains that Peter Sellers can’t play tuned chickens onstage because Gonzo did that act last week, Gonzo pops in with a perfectly timed “And it DIED!”
Best Puppet Trick: A simple but funny gag: Kermit gets his foot stuck in gum. We don’t see the gum. We don’t see his foot. This version of the Kermit puppet doesn’t have feet. But Jim Henson’s expert puppetry makes us believe that Kermit is struggling to free his flipper from its sticky trap.
Obscure Character Watch: It’s nice to see George the Janitor show up in the closing number.
Best Musical Moment: The UK spot, Gonzo’s performance of “Memory Lane.” It’s a whimsical little song, and I laughed out loud at Gonzo strolling out of the frame on the right side of the screen, only to appear a second later on the left side. And then he proceeds to push Rowlf’s piano across the stage for no apparent reason. It’s not aggressively absurd, but it’s weird enough to be true Gonzo.
Most Classic Moment: Were you shocked that I didn’t name “Bein’ Green” as the best musical moment up there? Well, fortunately we have a lot of categories, and Kermit’s signature song definitely fits this one. It should be noted that this isn’t the first time he sang it on The Muppet Show – he did it last season, too.
Adultiest Content: The closing number features Peter Sellers as a bass drum-banging preacher singing a song about the evils of “cigareets” and whiskey and wild, wild women. The character is discouraging vice, not glorifying it, but still… This is one of those things we’re talking about when we say The Muppet Show didn’t shy away from doing stuff that wasn’t aimed at kids.
One More Thing: Dr. Strangepork is among the Muppets in the ensemble for “Cigarettes and Whiskey,” and at one point he has a line – but although it’s Jerry Nelson’s voice, it’s completely different from the familiar Strangepork voice! Weird.
Okay, One More Thing: Kermit is backstage when Beaker suddenly teleports in, holding a vial. Beaker is so surprised he tosses the vial in the air. Then he teleports out. Then the vial falls and hits the floor off-camera.
Here are the steps that were presumably required in production to achieve this moment: Kermit freezes. Stop tape. Beaker enters. Resume tape. Beaker tosses the vial. Kermit freezes. Stop tape. The vial hits the studio floor. Beaker exits. Resume tape. A stagehand or puppeteer tosses the vial in the same spot where Beaker was. The vial falls on-camera.
Now, there was no reason for them to do all that. Beaker didn’t have to toss that vial at all. But it so convincingly sells the effect of the teleportation that I can only say it was worth it. And that level of dedication is one of the reasons I really like this television show.
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by Ryan Roe – Ryan@ToughPigs.com
