I’m currently sitting at work with an hour to kill before a meeting. I’ll be out this afternoon, on the road, heading to some stores as a sales rep for a cooking appliance company. But right now it’s Friday morning (Australian time, I’m not writing this live from New York like it’s Saturday Night), and this thing will be posted in whatever form it takes in around 13-14 hours time. I’ll sit at my computer in a very messy study, use my pretty rainbow light keyboard, get annoyed at my mouse that needs new batteries, and I’ll put in some photos and press publish and post it to Discord and the like. I’ll realize I said ‘and’ way too much in that previous sentence, but I won’t care because I called it out in the next sentence, which is this one. But for the moment, I told Joe and Ryan earlier this week that I’d deal with the Friday post, because I thought inspiration would have struck me by now. But it hasn’t.
So, what do I write when I don’t know what to write?
Sometimes last minute article ideas have led to my best work. My article about Oscar the Grouch being a Time Lord was written literally just a few hours before it was posted, and that got nominated for a Muppet Twitter Award! One time I wrote a whole article about The Muppets Great Gatsby – long before some other guy did it – the night I was posting it – if I’m honest, a few glasses of wine were involved. But right now that’s not an option, because I’m at work and I’d get fired.
I could sit here and file through Muppet Wiki, looking for inspiration. I could look at that running list of ideas we’ve got for the ToughPigs team to pick and choose from. I could recount that time Dave Goelz and I solved a murder on a train, but it’s a lot less interesting than it sounds (it was the conductor). Or, instead, I could be honest and tell you that I’ve got literally zero ideas on what I could talk about that might hold your interest. Which, if I’m honest, is starting to turn into an article in and of itself, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself.
Maybe I could write about the Muppets 70th anniversary celebrations? Kermit turns 70 next year, and Muppets Studio have already begun the festivities by announcing a 70 week spotlight campaign. You may have seen all the stuff this week about Rowlf, and just a couple of hours after this is posted, Week 2’s character will be announced. There have been some cute little posts by the characters, some fun artwork by Muppets Studio producer Dani Iglesias, a magnet you can buy at Disney Parks. What excites me about that is, I know which characters are coming up thanks to our new podcast (listen here!), and some extremely obscure characters are going to be getting merch for possibly the first time! That said, I hope (and I assume) that Muppets Studio has more planned for 2025 as the actual 70th anniversary hits. Social media is great, but let’s have some appearances or concerts or a feature film written by me and directed by me and Academy Award winning by me.
Maybe I could write about the fact that Barkley is back on Sesame Street? Barkley is such a beloved character, but hasn’t really been utilized much over the last 20 years. Recently though Sesame Workshop seem to have refurbished the big fella and he’s made a few appearances in social videos and the like. There were rumors he was supposed to be in the recent Cookie Monster’s Baking Extravaganza 2: Cookie Boogaloo special or whatever the hell it’s called, but according to those who’ve seen it, he is nowhere to be found. Which is a shame, because he is the best boy. Some might argue the BEST Muppet dog ever? (Sorry, Rowlf, your week has ended, and I’m all in on Barkley now).
Maybe I could write about the ToughPigs Discord, where hundreds of awesome Muppet fans gather all day every day to discuss The Muppets, or Sesame Street, or even Doctor Who! I don’t even attempt to stay up to date with the goings on, it’s all a little much for me personally, but it all seems to be moving along wonderfully under the watchful eye of our moderators, Becca Petunia and Katilyn Miller. I like to jump in at times with a fun little story, or read about people’s headcanons for the characters (mine is that Beaker swears a lot and those meeps are just him being censored). There are fun emoji reaction thingies, some of which I requested (Mr Curly Twirly being a personal favorite of mine). It’s a really fun space and if you’re not there, be sure to follow it!
I could write about any of those things, and more, but I’m just not sure I can think of what to say. I love all of these things, and this website, with vigor, but today they just aren’t inspiring me to write 800 words on why Barkley should be the new Elmo. So, I guess I’ll relent, and I’ll tell you the story of that time Dave Goelz and I solved a murder on a train.
It all started in 1876, on a cold, rainy night, heading towards a train station in Budapest- Oh, sorry, my meeting is starting. I’ll finish this later.
By Jarrod Fairclough – Jarrod@ToughPigs.com
Click here to do the Cookie Boogaloo on the ToughPigs Discord!
