The Well Filled Shoe (De Volle Schoen)
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Bert
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The kids at home sang along nice and loudly, huh. That’s probably because it’s the most beautiful Sinterklaas song I know. It’s all about getting as many presents as possible from Sinterklaas.
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Ernie
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No, it’s not, Bert!
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Bert
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It’s not, huh? What, do you want as few presents as possible from Sinterklaas? Maybe you won’t get anything.
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Ernie
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I didn’t get anything in my shoes this morning.
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Bert
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See? There you have it. I did. I found an enormous pigeon in my shoe. Made of chocolate.
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Ernie
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Your shoe’s made of chocolate?
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Bert
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No. My shoe’s made of shoe. But that pigeon was made of chocolate.
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Ernie
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Oooh, show me.
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Bert
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You tell me what was in your shoe first.
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Ernie
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Nothing. I told you, there was nothing in my shoe.
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Bert
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Yeah, but… how…
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Ernie
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And I had put two pairs of shoes by the fireplace. My regular shiny shoes, and my nice dirty sneakers. Well, when I looked at my shoes this morning to see what was in them…
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Bert
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Yes? Yes? Say it!
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Ernie
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Nothing.
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Bert
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What did you say?
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Ernie
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Nothing.
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Bert
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I thought you said something.
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Ernie
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I said, nothing.
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Bert
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Come on, Ernie. Tell me!
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Ernie
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There was nothing in my shoes, Bert! I put four shoes by the fireplace, and there was nothing in it.
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Bert
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Made of chocolate?
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Ernie
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No. “Nothing” can’t be made of chocolate.
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Bert
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Or marzipan?
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Ernie
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Or speculaas.
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Bert
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Oh, I like speculaas too. I once got a cat made of speculaas from Sinterklaas. Not a real cat, but one made of Sinterklaas. I mean, speculaas. Uhm…
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Ernie
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Keehee. Cottage cheese? An Easter Bunny?
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Bert
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An Easter Bunny? That’s made of chocolate. But I had a cat made of speculaas. Not a real cat. A real cat is not made of speculaas. A real cat’s just made of cat. And today my shoe was filled again. With that chocolate pigeon.
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Ernie
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I didn’t get anything, Bert. I had nothing. Sniff.
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Bert
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Would you like half of my chocolate pigeon, Ernie?
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Ernie
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No, Bert, that’s not necessary. You can eat your chocolate pigeon all by yourself.
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Bert
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Don’t you even want a piece?
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Ernie
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No, Bert. That pigeon is yours. It was in your shoe. I don’t want any.
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Bert
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Oh, thank goodness, Ernie, because I ate it all up at once. My stomach still hurts a bit because I could hardly eat it all by myself. But it was mine.
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Ernie
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Bert? Why didn’t I get anything in my shoes?
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Bert
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Because you put four shoes by the fireplace. That looks greedy. And if you’re greedy, you won’t get anything.
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Ernie
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Oh, I did get something. Next to my sneaker, the one with a bit of poo on it, there was a note.
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Bert
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POO?! Ernie, you’re saying dirty words!
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Ernie
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What did I say, Bert?
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Bert
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You said poo.
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Ernie
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Now you said it too, Bert! Keeheehee! But there was a note next to my one sneaker.
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Bert
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Yes… tell me what was on that note!
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Ernie
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The one I found next to my sneaker with a little poo on it because I had stepped in poo the other day? You mean that note?
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Bert
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Stop it, Ernie.
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Ernie
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I thought you wanted to know what the note from Sinterklaas said.
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Bert
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I do. Come on!
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Ernie
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The note said: “Look in Bert’s shoe.” And I looked, but your shoe was empty.
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Bert
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At first it wasn’t. The chocolate pigeon was in there. But I ate it.
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Ernie
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Didn’t you get a note? Or a nice poem?
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Bert
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No, I ate that immediately. I mean, I haven’t read that yet. I didn’t have time for that. I was busy eating my pigeon.
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Ernie
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Where is your note?
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Bert
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Oh, I threw it… I laid it in the wastebasket.
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Ernie
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Oh, I’ll get it.
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Bert
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Give me, Ernie. It’s MY note!
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Ernie
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Shall I read it, Bert?
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Bert
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No! No, I want to read it. Come on. There.
The Pigeon This is a chocolate pigeon, made of chocolate so sweet But listen what I have to say, before you start to eat.
Ah-ha-ha-ha! Funny poem, huh, Ernie? What shall we do? Oh, right, we can’t do anything, we were waiting.
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Ernie
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Bert. The poem’s not over yet. It goes on. Wait, let me read it.
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Bert
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No, not now, Ernie. Not all at once.
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Ernie
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That pigeon may be lying in Bert’s saddle shoe It’s there for Bert AND Ernie, so this is what you do: You break it in half, then you’ll have twice the fun But I’m about to miss the train, so now the poem is done.
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Bert
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That poem can’t be from Sinterklaas. He doesn’t travel by train. He rides a white horse. Shall we sing?
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Ernie
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It IS from Sinterklaas, Bert.
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Bert
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Let’s sing “Hear who’s knocking, kids?”
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Ernie
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It’s signed “Saint and Pete,” so it’s from Sinterklaas. And it also says: “Pssst — we’re coming to visit you tomorrow night!”
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Bert
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Tomorrow night?
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Ernie
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Yes, but tomorrow night is now.
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Bert
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No. Now is now. Tomorrow night is tomorrow night.
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Ernie
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Bert? When did you find that note in your shoe?
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Bert
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This morning. Very early. Because I couldn’t sleep.
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Ernie
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Well. So Sinterklaas won’t come tonight. He’s coming tomorrow night.
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Bert
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I’d better go to bed. Good night, Ernie. I’ll put my shoes here again.
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Ernie
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Wait a minute.
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Bert
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No, Ernie. I’m going to bed. I’ve had enough.
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Ernie
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The poem was in your shoe this morning, but Saint and Pete must have put it in your shoe last night. So that means that tomorrow night is now. Not tomorrow night.
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Bert
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I don’t get that. Explain that tomorrow, Ernie.
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Who’s Knocking? (Wie Klopt Daar?)
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(KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!)
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Ernie
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Who’s that tapping?!
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Bert
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Oh, Ernie, that must be him! That must be him! Oooohhh…
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Bert & Ernie
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Open the door for Saint Nicholas For his white horse, and for Pete Take him inside and ask him lots of questions He can sit in the most beautiful chair Tell him we’re happy he’s here We are, aren’t we? Am I wrong about that? Saint can stay here as long as he wants It’s warm at our place, and it’s chilly outside So open the door for Saint Nicholas For his white horse, and for Pete Take him inside and ask him lots of questions He can sit in the most beautiful chair
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Ernie
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Bert?
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Bert
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Yeah, Ernie?! Yeah, yeah?!
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Ernie
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That’s not knocking at the door, Bert. Listen. That’s somebody using a hammer.
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Bert
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What a shame… I thought that was Sinterklaas knocking. Oh well, then I’ll just sit in the most beautiful chair…
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(RING!!!)
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Ernie
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Someone’s ringing!
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Bert
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That must be him, Ernie! That must be him!
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Bert & Ernie
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Open the door for Saint Nicholas For his white horse, and for Pete Take him inside and ask him lots of questions He can sit in the most beautiful chair Tell him we’re happy he’s here We are, aren’t we? Am I wrong about that? Saint can stay here as long as he wants It’s warm at our place, and it’s chilly outside So open the door for Saint Nicholas For his white horse, and for Pete Take him inside and ask him lots of questions He can sit in the most beautiful chair
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Ernie
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Bert? That wasn’t the doorbell. That was the telephone.
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Bert
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Oh no. What a shame. Who was that calling?
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Ernie
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I don’t know. I picked up the phone and all I heard was “Beep beep beep beep beep…”
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Bert
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Ohhhh…
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(KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK)
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Bert
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Yeah, I know, I know.
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Ernie
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Bert, who’s knocking?
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Bert
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That’s not knocking. I don’t know what it is, but it’s not knocking.
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Ernie
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Somebody’s knocking at the door, Bert!
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Bert
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Stop kidding me.
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Ernie
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Open that door! That must be him! Bert!
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Bert
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Okay, one more time. We’ll try once more… I hope it’s him. I hope it’s him…
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Bert & Ernie
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Open the door for Saint Nicholas For his white horse, and for Pete Take him inside and ask him lots of questions He can sit in the most beautiful chair Tell him we’re happy he’s here We are, aren’t we? Am I wrong about that? Saint can stay here as long as he wants It’s warm at our place, and it’s chilly outside So open the door for Saint Nicholas For his white horse, and for Pete Take him inside and ask him lots of questions He can sit in the most beautiful chair
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Grover’s Beautiful Poem (Grover’s Mooie Gedicht)
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Bert
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Welcome, Dear Holy Man.
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Grover
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(stumbles in) OOOHH! May I come in? Something terrible has happened!
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Ernie
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Take it easy, Grover…
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Grover |
It is nice and warm in here. It is so chilly outdoors. Hi, Bert. Where is Ernie? Oh, there he is.
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Ernie
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Hi, Grover.
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Grover
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Hi, Ernie! OOOHHHH — may I sit here?
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Bert |
No, that’s Saint Nicholas’ seat. You can’t sit there.
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Grover
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Oh, I do not know him. Is he a friend of Ernie’s?
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Bert
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No, Grover. Saint Nicholas and Black Pete. You know them, right?
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Grover
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Are they coming? Where? When? Why?!
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Bert
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They should have been here by now. But I guess Sinterklaas is stuck in a traffic jam.
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Grover |
But I do not want… I do not know, when he comes… Where is the closet?
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Bert
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Behind you. There’s a closet behind you, but it’s filled with clothes.
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Ernie
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What’s the matter, Grover? Why are you so nervous?
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Grover
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Can I have a glass of water?
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Bert
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I’ll get you a glass of water. Ernie, if Sinterklaas knocks, could you open the door? You can’t let him stay outside too long.
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Grover
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It is terrible, Ernie. I got a poem in my shoe this morning, but I cannot read it at all. I can read a little bit, but after a while I cannot read any further.
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Ernie
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Where is it? Give it to me, I’m a good reader. I’ll read it for you.
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Grover
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I have it right here… oh no, I FORGOT IT! Oh no, wait, here it is.
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Ernie
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What does it say?
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Grover
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Let’s see. It says:
Saint and Pete don’t know — does Grover like A nice book, or freshly baked goods — he’ll get a new bike.
And I cannot read the rest. And I did not even get a new bike. There was a car in my shoe. What could it be?
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Ernie
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Let’s see… I can’t read it very well either.
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Grover |
It says here I will get a new bike. But I did not get a new bike. What a mean thing to do.
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Ernie
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Have you looked outside, Grover?
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Bert
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Is Sinterklaas here yet, Ernie?
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Ernie
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I can’t read this.
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Bert
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What can’t you read?
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Ernie
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You try it.
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Bert
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What is this?
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Grover
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It is a poem I found in my shoe. It says I will get a bike, but I did not get one.
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Bert
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Let’s see.
Saint and Pete don’t know — does Grover like A nice book, or freshly baked goods — OR a new bike.
It doesn’t say you’re getting a bike, Grover. It’s not that great a poem either. But it doesn’t say you’re getting a bike.
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Grover
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I thought I would get a bike.
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Bert
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No, you won’t. It goes on.
Does Grover like sugar and spice, or is he wise? Or is he afraid — this car is beautifully made.
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Grover
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There was a car in my shoe. A very little car. Not a big car.
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Ernie
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A small car can be pretty too, Grover.
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Bert
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That is true.
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Grover
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Big cars are prettier!
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Ernie
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Not necessarily.
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Bert
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A big car can be ugly, too.
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Bert Knows Everything (Bert Weet Het Beter)
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Grover
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Do you know everything?
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Bert
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Sometimes I know everything.
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Ernie
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Sometimes you don’t.
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Bert
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No, I know everything. I know everything.
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Ernie
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It’s getting cold.
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Bert
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It’s not cold, it’s just like spring. I know everything.
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Grover
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Look, Ernie. This piece of lint was tied around the car.
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Bert
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That’s not lint, that’s a shoestring. I know everything.
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Grover
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I’d better go. I’ll go visit Frans.
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Bert
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His name’s not Frans, his name is Bing. I know everything.
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Grover
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I am so scared of Sinterklaas…
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Bert
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It’s not cold, it’s just like spring. I know everything. |
by Jogchem Jalink
