New Muppet Stuff – Grover on Jimmy Kimmel Live

New Muppet Stuff
Grover on Jimmy Kimmel Live

April 4, 2005: Grover made a rare late-night appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live, promoting the Happy Healthy Monsters DVD and the new season of Sesame Street.

But before Grover even appeared, another guest was talking smack about him. Jimmy invited the Wings guy to air his views on Sesame Street’s pedagogical techniques…

	(Tim Daly blathers on about whatever.)
Jimmy	I heard that you don’t like Sesame Street. Is that true?
	(The audience goes: Awwwwwww.)
Jimmy	Can you believe that?
Tim	You know, Sesame Street is responsible for attention deficit disorder, in my personal opinion.
Jimmy	Well…

Tim	It is! Come on! (Tim does his impression of a typical Sesame-watching experience, waving his hands in front of his face as if he’s being attacked by bees.) Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Flashing! Numbers! Letters! Music! Aaah!
Jimmy	I tell you what: You can take it up with Grover when he comes out.
	(The audience cheers for Grover, as naturally they would.)

Tim	And what kind of animal is Grover?
Jimmy	Well, we’ll find out, when he comes out! Tim Daly is here, Eyes is Wednesday nights at 10 here on ABC, and in a moment: Tim Daly goes one on one, mano a mano, with Grover from Sesame Street.

	(Back from commercial…)
Jimmy	Our next guest has been on television for 36 years, and somehow he still looks like a 6-year-old kid. His secret is a vigorous exercise regimen called Happy Healthy Monsters. From Sesame Street, where everything’s a-ok, please say hello to Grover, everybody!
	(Grover emerges through a curtain. The audience essentially loses it.)
Grover	Hello ev-ery-bodeeeeeee! Yes! Ha ha ha ha! Yes!

	(Grover sits down with Jimmy.)
Jimmy	Well, welcome to the show, Grover. It’s great to have you here. You must — actually, you’re probably not up this late usually, are you.
Grover	Oh, no, no… Jimmy bay-beeeee! Oh, it is so good to see you!

	(Grover turns to Tim.)
Grover	You? I am not talking to.
	(Jimmy laughs.)
Grover	No, no, I am just kidding, I’m just kidding. You were great in Sideways.
	(He turns back to Jimmy.)
Grover	So, anyway, what was the question?
Jimmy	(Jimmy takes a moment.) Wow, Grover… Whew!
Grover	Yes!

Jimmy	First of all, congratulations on the exercise video.
Grover	Oh, thank you!
Jimmy	Now, we see there, you’re getting a vigorous workout with Elmo… Are you friends with Elmo?
Grover	Oh, yes! Yes, we are great friends. I am friends with everybody on Sesame Street.
Jimmy	Who’s your best friend on Sesame Street?
Grover	My best friend? Oh… That is a toughie. You know, I would have to say, that is Froggie-baby! (to audience:) You know Froggie-baby? Kermit the Frog?
	(The audience gives it up for Kermit.)
Grover	Yeah, he is a great guy. But, you do not want to go out to dinner with him.
Jimmy	Why?
Grover	No, no, well… Do you know how frogs eat? Yeah. They stick out their tongue…
Jimmy	Uh huh.
Grover	And they… Oh! It is disgusting. No, you do not want to go out to dinner.
Jimmy	That’s what Miss Piggy said, yes. She has trouble with the kissing sometimes.

Jimmy	What about Oscar? What is Oscar’s problem?
Grover	What do you mean, what is his problem?
Jimmy	I mean, he’s so unpleasant all the time.
Grover	Well, he lives in a trash can! Wouldn’t you be unpleasant if you lived in a trash can?
Jimmy	Have you ever been in the trash can?
Grover	No. No, no, no. I can not go anywhere ten feet within that thing.
Jimmy	Yeah, sure. Is anyone besides — are grouches only allowed in the trash can?
Grover	Well, no, anybody is allowed, but… Who would want to go in there? Huh?
Jimmy	Yeah. I guess you have a point.

Jimmy	Now, you’re here in Los Angeles, have you been having fun?
Grover	Oh, I love L.A. (to audience:) I LOVE L.A.! Yes!
	(The audience cheers.)
Grover	Oh, it is great, you know, but I have learned something since I have been here. I am not much of a beach monster.
Jimmy	Is that right?
Grover	No, I went to the beach the other day. It was fun at first, yeah, I played in the water, I built a sand castle, and a sand king and queen, and a cute little sand family, yeah? But then I noticed something, I noticed that my nose was getting pinker and pinker. Yeah! I got sunburn! Or, in my case, rugburn.
Jimmy	I’m sorry to hear that. Have you gone — have you been hanging out at the Skybar?
Grover	The Skybar… No.
Jimmy	Disneyland, maybe?
Grover	No.
Jimmy	Have you ever been to Disneyland?
Grover	Are you offering to take me?
Jimmy	Yeah, sure, I’ll take you to Disneyland.
Grover	Oh! Yes! I accept, I accept! That will be so much fun. Yes.

Jimmy	I don’t know if I should mention this, but you have an alter ego, um…
Grover	What?
Jimmy	Super Grover, a superhero that you, from time to time, will transform into…
Grover	Yeah. It is true, it is true. The tabloids blew the cover off my story a long time ago, yeah.
Jimmy	And what powers does Super Grover have?
Grover	Ummm… I am still trying to figure that one out, actually. No, no, I am super helpful as Super Grover.
Jimmy	Oh, super helpful!
Grover	Super helpful, yes! But that is something that anyone can do. Yeah. You do not have to wear a superhero cape to be super helpful.
	(Small cheer from enthusiastic audience members.)
Jimmy	Yeah, well, that’s good advice.

Grover	Although I think you would look rather spiffy in one yourself, Jimmy.
Jimmy	Oh, thank you very much. I remember, boy, when I was a kid, I’d see you in that Super Grover costume, and it was just the greatest thing I could ever see. Because I like your little legs, in tights, and the cape and everything like that.
	(Giggles, and a whistle from the audience.)
Jimmy	Do you wear that much?
Grover	Ummm… For you, I will not wear it.
Jimmy	Oh, you will not.
Grover	No. I do not think that would be a good idea.

Jimmy	You know who my favorite guy is on Sesame Street…
Grover	Who is that?
Jimmy	Who, I believe, Cookie Monster…
	(Cheer for Cookie Monster.)
Grover	Cookie Monster! Yes! A very good friend of mine.
Jimmy	Who clearly has an eating disorder…
Grover	Well… It is true. He has a little bit of a cookie problem. But not any more! No! He is on a diet.
Jimmy	Is he really?
Grover	Yeah! He is! He is on a diet, he is only eating healthy foods, yeah, fruits and vegetables…
Jimmy	Really!
Grover	Yeah, yeah. And he is looking rather svelte now, too. He has lost about seventy pounds.
Jimmy	Well, that is —
Grover	I think it is only temporary, but you know. We are wishing the best for him.
Jimmy	Does he work out on this video?
Grover	No, no. He does not work out. We have not gotten him really to exercise yet, but exercise is good for everyone!
Jimmy	Exercise is good for everyone.
Grover	It is! Yes!

Jimmy	Well, Grover — Super Grover, whichever you want to go by — It was great to have you here. Now, are you a fan of My Chemical Romance?
	(Big cheer from the audience for the musical guest.)
Grover	It sounds like I should be!
Jimmy	Well, if you’ve never heard them, I think you’re going to enjoy them, and I hope that things don’t get ugly between you and Tim in the green room. I really do. I’m sure he was just…
Grover	No, no… He was just joshing me earlier, right?
	(The ever-classy Tim Daly shrugs, and mugs for the camera.)
Grover	RIGHT??

Tim	Hey… I also know that the people on Sesame Street also invented Ritalin, so… It’s all one symbiotic thing…
	(The audience kind of boos him. He acts like he’s been naughty. Grover nods.)
Grover	You just wait till later.
Tim	Peace, peace.

Grover	Outside!
Tim	I’m a lover, not a fighter.
Grover	After the show! You and me, huh? Yeah, I will be wearing my superhero outfit then, huh?!
	(Cheers. Grover wins.)

by Danny Horn