New Muppet Stuff – The Muppets Wizard of Oz on GMA

New Muppet Stuff
The Muppets’ Wizard of Oz on Good Morning America

May 19, 2005: Hey, it’s time to play the Good Morning America drinking game. Here’s how you play: Take a drink every time Charles Gibson says that he likes the Muppets. Also take a drink every time a co-host mentions that Charles Gibson likes the Muppets. It’s a great game; you’re completely smashed by 8:30am.

	(They start with a clip from “When I’m With You,” which makes Charles and Diane chuckle.)
Charles	Awww. So who else to remake The Wizard of Oz, but the fabulous Muppets, starring along with Ashanti. What a great idea, having the Muppets do the Wizard of Oz.
Diane	It is.It just makes your heart pound. We are not in Kansas anymore. We’re not even in Times Square anymore, when the Muppets get started. Good morning, America, I’m Diane Sawyer.
Charles	And I’m Charles Gibson.It looked to me like Ashanti was playing Dorothy. So what role could there be for Piggy?
Diane	I wonder…

	(The camera cuts to Miss Piggy, sitting on a bench in the studio. She sighs as she hears them talking about her.)
Charles	I can’t imagine that she could give up the role of Dorothy to Ashanti…
Piggy	Dorothy is a small, insignificant part! (Charles, Diane and the crew all laugh.) I play all of the witches in this movie, and I am fabulous. And I have WAY more lines than Ashanti! I tell you that!
Charles	Well, we’re gonna check in with the Pigster, and with Ashanti, and I think also there’s another guest with us this morning, and you might suspect who that’s going to be. It’s great fun to have the Muppets here…

	(Robin says that a very special guest is here to do the weather with Tony Perkins.)
Tony	Yes, indeed, getting things cleaned up a little, because one of my favorites of all time, Fozzie Bear, is here, ladies and gentlemen!
	(The crowd around them cheers.)
Fozzie	Yes! Thank you, thank you! Yeah! Y’know, you used to do stand-up, Tony…
Tony	I did.
Fozzie	Right? Right? Yeah.
Tony	Yes, I was in stand-up for many years, and you do stand-up.
Fozzie	Yes, I do, but did you also know I do the weather!

Tony	You do the weather as well?
Fozzie	Yes! Yeah, I do, you wanna hear a little bit of it?
Tony	I would love to hear a little bit of it.
Fozzie	Okay. Well. Here we go — weather you’re ready or not! Aaaaa-aaaah! Yeah! Today, it’s going to be partly funny — yeah? Aaaah… Or maybe not… Um… Yeah, it’ll be chilly today, but hot tamale!

Tony	Hot tamale, yes. That’s a classic. Very good.
Fozzie	Oh, thank you, thank you. Yeah. You know, it’s so hot out, it’s going to be so hot out tomorrow…
Tony	How hot will it be?
Fozzie	I’m gonna have to work bear nekkid!
Tony	Very nicely done. Fozzie Bear, ladies and gentlemen, we’re going to talk more about the Muppets’ Wizard of Oz in just a little bit…

Charles	This is a wonderful idea, I think — a new trip down the Yellow Brick Road. Ashanti, the Grammy-winning international superstar, stars in her first leading lady role as Dorothy, in the Muppets’ Wizard of Oz. And with her is one of the most glamorous the silver screen has ever known — that’s exactly what she told me to say. I’m talking about, of course, Miss Piggy. It’s a pleasure to have both of you here — and if you don’t mind, I’m going to talk to one of the great stars of the silver screen first.
Ashanti	Please do.
Piggy	Yes, please do. Please.
Charles	Because she told me I had to.
Piggy	Yes. It’s true.

Charles	I’m a little embarrassed for you, because I think I heard you say at the beginning of the half hour that you were counting your lines, and that you have more lines than Ashanti?
Piggy	Yes, well? What’s the matter with that? I have to keep up my reputation. Yes. I did approve the script before this project actually got off the ground.
Charles	You had script approval.
Piggy	Yes! Of course.

Charles	You play all four witches.
Piggy	Yes. It’s true, Charles. Yes, you know, this is a really wonderful showing of my dramatic range. I play both naughty and nice. (A clip is played of the Wicked Witch laughing.)
Charles	You can play both evil and good.
Piggy	Yes. Not exactly evil, Charles. I like to call it naughty.
Charles	Well, good must have been a stretch for you.
Piggy	What? What are you talking about? I am one of the sweetest, most wonderful people you will ever come across! Isn’t that right, Ashanti?
Ashanti	Oh, one hundred percent!
Piggy	Yes. Right answer.
	(Charles and Ashanti laugh.)

Piggy	She knows what I can do. We had a fight scene in this movie.
Ashanti	We sure did.
Charles	Indeed, well, I understand that you’re very wicked at times. We’ll tell people about that. Have you been a fan of Miss Piggy’s?
Ashanti	I’ve definitely been a fan of Miss Piggy’s.
Piggy	Mm hmm. I’m watching you.

Charles	Because she’s been around for a long, long time…
Ashanti	She’s been around extremely long! Like, very, very long, since I was, like, this big.
Piggy	Mm hmm, mm hmm. Yeah. You know, I was so pleased to hear about Ashanti joining our cast, as soon as I found out who the heck Ashanti was!
Ashanti	Well, that’s funny, because Kermit really knew me.
	(The people on set oooh; they’re getting into it.)
Piggy	Yeah. We’ll see about that.
Charles	That’s throwing down the gauntlet.

	(They show a clip, with the Witch of the North getting Dorothy to put on the silver Manolos.)
Charles	Piggy, what role does Kermit play?
Piggy	Oh, he is so wonderful, he plays the Scarecrow, and he’s wonderful. It’s a real stretch for him, because he plays a character who has no brain.
Charles	That is a stretch. And he’s here, you know…
Piggy	He is? Really?
Charles	Kermit?
	(Kermit appears from behind Charles’ chair.)
Kermit	Oh, oh, yes. I was just hiding out behind you. I’m sorry I’m late, but it was in the script.
Charles	Oh, yes.
Piggy	Script? I didn’t see the script. Did you? I didn’t approve it.

Kermit	Hi, Ashanti!Nice to see you.
Ashanti	Hi, Kermie! Nice to see you.
Kermit	Oh, and you too, Piggy.

Charles	Are you flirting with Ashanti?
Kermit	No, of course not.
Piggy	No. He’s not. He knows better than that.
Kermit	No, I, uh, uh. Never.
Piggy	DON’T YOU, Kermie?
Kermit	Yes. Hmm.

Charles	Did you feel Kermie’s sort of, you know, charisma and macho qualities during the filming?
Ashanti	Oh, absolutely. You know, we had some moments that were just great between us. Piggy wasn’t around.
Kermit	Right, right.
Charles	Cause sometimes the stars of movies have a, you know, have a thing.
Ashanti	Yes…
Piggy	You told me you didn’t have any scenes with her.
Kermit	I beg your pardon?
Piggy	You told me you did all your stuff on greenscreen.
Kermit	No, no. I can’t be on greenscreen. I disappear. I’m only eyes. That’s why Fozzie did the weather, you see.
Charles	Well, it’s good to have all of you here. Ashanti, all the best. Acting with the two of them must have been tough.
Ashanti	Oh, my gosh, it was amazing. I had such a wonderful time. They’re the best.
Kermit	Aw, Ashanti’s great. She’s wonderful. We really enjoyed working with her.
Piggy	She really is.
Charles	All right. We’re going to take a break, and come back with Kermie and Miss Piggy, they’ll stay around…

Diane	We want to remind everybody — tomorrow, on Good Morning America, U2! What a concert.
Kermit	Us two? We’re here today. Oh, oh, I see.
Robin	And also, program note, it’ll be hot in Indiana tonight. Pacers and Pistons square off, game 6 of the NBA playoffs. If they want to force a game 7, Indiana has to win. You can see it tonight at 8/7 Central.

	(While Robin is talking about the playoffs, Diane reaches over and puts her hand over Piggy’s nose. Piggy pulls back.)
Piggy	Watch it — watch it, Sawyer!
Tony	She’s got your hairstyle, I notice.

Diane	I just want to pinch your nose — I can’t help myself!
	(She reaches over and does it again.)

by Danny Horn