The Wildness of the West
Tuesday, May 21
The Wildness of the WestYesterday, I watched a whole bunch of Elmo’s World on home video. Initially, I questioned why anyone would need Elmo’s World on home video when you can’t turn on your TV, no matter what time or day, without seeing Elmo’s World anyway. But it turned out to be good fun.
Today, though, I’m a little worried — Elmo’s World: Wild Wild West is all-new, never-before-screened material, so I’ve got no built-in preconceived criticism to fall back on. Today, unarmed with any long-established self-righteous crankiness, I face the critic’s worst nightmare — having to watch something with an open mind.
Well, an almost open mind. I guess I’ve never been a big fan of country music. And I gave up childhood horse-riding lessons after two weeks, because of that, you know, horsey smell. And, come to think of it, I’ve never liked John Wayne movies. Or Bonanza. And I think Back to the Future: Part Three is the best of the trilogy despite the western theme.
Cool, I guess I do have built-in preconceived crankiness to fall back on. The Wild Wild West sucks, dude. (And while I’m at it, what’s with the tautology? Surely the Wildness of the West can be summed up in just one “Wild”?)
Right, let’s get started.
Elmo’s World: Wild Wild — no, wait. I think I’m going to call this tape Wild West for the duration of this column, because Elmo’s World: Wild Wild West is just too darn long, and the acronym would be EW:WWW, which sounds like Elmo stepped in some horse droppings.
So, Wild West starts with a good old-fashioned Muppet stampede, which makes me happy. Then there’s a montage of Wild West stuff, including Big Bird riding a horse. After that, we see — not one, not two, but three Noodles. There’s Mr. Noodle, Mr. Noodle’s brother Mr. Noodle, and their sister Ms. Noodle. (For reasons I can’t quite put my finger on, my favorite is Mr. Noodle’s brother, Mr. Noodle. I tell you this only in the spirit of full disclosure.) Actually, to tell you the truth, more than one Noodle at a time somehow seems to dilute the Noodly goodness, but them Noodles is so much fun, I jes’ cain’t complain.
We have an early contender for cutest Wild West moment when Dorothy’s goldfish bowl goes on location outside a store, where a floppy-haired Sesame kid shows her how he rides the coin-operated horse. “Wook, Dowothy, I’m widing! Giddyap, yeehah, whoaaow! Giddyap, yeehah, whooaaow!” In a parallel Sesame Street universe, this kid grows up to be George W. Bush.
Regular episodes of Elmo’s World run around 12 minutes a pop, but according to the back cover, Wild West runs a whopping 50 minutes, so basically there’s a fair amount of padding. Everything kinda happens a few more times than it usually would, and for a little bit longer than it usually would. There are more interruptions — a running gag where an assortment of Western Anything Muppets and animals keep singing a Western song; the “you’ve got mail” moment drags for a couple extra moments; the computer mouse is harder than usual to catch; and then the e-mail runs for a good couple of minutes, instead of the usual few seconds.
But hey, nobody’s complaining, because the e-mail is a brand-new Marshal Grover sketch, featuring Fred the Wonder Horse and the impeccable talents of Eric Jacobson as Grover. Have I raved about Eric Jacobson yet? I have? Well, consider him re-raved about. The sketch itself is a fairly derivative square dance number where Grover gets trampled by square dancers, but my gosh, it’s just such a pleasure to see him there, and in such capable hands.
But here’s the main way they manage to stretch a 12-minute segment into a 50-minute special — Elmo actually leaves Elmo’s World, on a magic stagecoach, no less, and pays a visit to the real live Wild Wild West. Elmo pumps water, Elmo washes horses, Elmo even kisses a pony. (Yeah, I spoke too soon — in the cuteness stakes, that little George Dubya kid has nothing on Elmo kissing a pony.)
Back in the world of crayons and cardboard, Elmo talks to a real live cowboy — Travis Tritt, who appears and sings a song. And here I must pause in my admiration for Wild West and fulfill my proper journalistic duty, which is to report The Truth, without bias, without fear, and, if possible, without laughing so hard milk comes out of my nose.
Finally, the other fiendish way of stretching this special out to 50 minutes is to finish the Elmo’s World part at the 30-minute mark, run some unnecessarily slow credits, and then run out the clock with episodes of Monster Clubhouse and Hero Guy. The scoundrels!
… Not Travis, obviously. He remains a fine gentleman, who is, I’m sure, above reproach.
[ Note: I know that Danny has previously covered Elmo’s World: Wild Wild West in My Week with Elmo, but I figured there was more to say, and besides, Danny and I are different people. Honestly. ]
Tomorrow: Best foot forward — The Best of Everyone on Sesame Street.
by Kynan Barker
