My Week with Sesame Music – Wednesday

Make Me Happy
Wednesday, April 24

Next up: The Best of Elmo, which begins with Elmo’s bright little voice welcoming us to his album. It’s just the sort of thing Elmo would do, and I love the little guy for thinking of it, and for taking the time to follow through on the idea. Too many music albums rely on the music to communicate with the listener. Why doesn’t Michael Stipe welcome me to the latest R.E.M. album? When I buy Macy Gray’s latest CD, why doesn’t she tell me how happy she is to be singing me her favorite songs?

“Hit it!” Elmo chirps, and launches into the Sesame Street theme song. Which is only a little weird, because I don’t remember him ever singing it before, but it’s a neat way of starting the album, and — yay! — the backing track is the harmonica instrumental version that I was missing so much in the Platinum album. Sometimes it seems like Elmo was created specifically to make me happy.

Then we hear Elmo’s Song, naturally enough, with Snuffy and Big Bird chiming in — so by track two, he’s already sharing the limelight a little. Next up is Happy Tappin’ With Elmo, which you may recall I skipped last time around, when it showed up on Platinum. But this time around Elmo’s buttered me up, so I give the little guy a go, and it turns out that it is a pretty happy song. It does still suffer a little from being a tap-dance song without any visuals, but I’m in such a good mood that I take the time to imagine Elmo’s tap-dance, and in my mind’s eye I’m impressed. We’ve seen Elmo dance quite a bit over the years, but it never seems to get tired, even when you have to imagine it yourself. (And he’s right, it’s incredible what you can do in your imagination.)

One Fine Face — cute song, and it sure gives good Ernie. But by now I’m getting a little tired of repeats. Sesame Street has given us so many beautiful original songs over the years that surely they can manage to scrounge up enough different songs to put a different collection on each album? I’ve complained about filler before, but if Sesame Workshop ever called to ask me, I’d tell them I’d prefer the filler to the double-ups.

By track five, Elmo’s Off To School, and I’m a little confused — isn’t Elmo three and a half? What’s he doing going to school? Is he in some kind of accelerated learning program? And if so, why is he still referring to himself in the third person?

Elmo Wrote His Name is a fine, perfectly unmemorable song, although it does feature a nice selection of other characters singing back-up, but Splish Splash seems pretty random — I mean, it’s not a Sesame Street song that happens to share the name of the popular hit, it’s an actual cover song, which always surprises me. Were Jeff Moss, Joe Raposo and Christopher Cerf all busy that day?

Same goes for Drive My Car — this is supposed to be The Best of Elmo, not Elmo’s Album of Random Cover Songs. And let me just check — just a couple of songs ago, Elmo was off to school, wasn’t he? When did he learn to drive? This is getting really weird.

And I would never question Elmo’s motives, because he seems perfectly pure of heart, but wasn’t Imagination Ernie’s song? I know Bert has sung it to Ernie on the show, but I don’t remember Elmo ever singing this. And my memories of Take a Breath don’t feature any Muppets at all. I don’t know who sang it, but it sure wasn’t my little red friend. Suddenly The Best of Elmo has become Elmo Commits Outright Musical Theft To Pad Out His Album.

Bert? Ernie? Give me a call. I’ll put you in touch with a good entertainment lawyer.

Don’t worry, this album isn’t made up of songs that make me angry. It also has Be Doodle Dee Dum and Elmo’s Rap Alphabet, which I want to skip instantly.

Elmo, you’ve let me down. It’s really hard to be an Elmovangelist in the face of such evidence. I mean, this album isn’t really bad, but it’s not overflowing with the kind of perfect red furry joy that I think we should be able to expect from you by now.

What’s that, Elmo? You’ve still got two tracks to go? Well, don’t think you can pull that trick of saving up a couple of really terrific songs for the very end to make me forgive you for a whole bunch of musical sins. You people have tried that too many —

— What? You’ve got Just One Person and Sing? And Sing features Big Bird, Telly, Grover and a whole chorus of angelic kids?

… Oh, all right, then, little fella. You’re off the hook. But I’ll expect better on your next album.

Ya little red rascal.

Tomorrow: Jeff Moss, Joe Raposo and Christopher Cerf take an entire week off as the Sesame cast sings Kids’ Favorite Songs. For a whole album.

by Kynan Barker