Follow the Money
Monday, April 7
Follow the MoneyHey, remember when Sesame Street was brought to you by letters and numbers? Well, you can kiss those days goodbye.
The new season of Sesame Street begins today, and here’s how it starts: “Sesame Street is brought to you by the following…” And then what we get is 45 seconds of straight-up commercials. “America Online is proud to support Sesame Street!” — which would be a nice thing to know, but then they go on — “No two kids are alike, but what they all share is endless curiosity. AOL helps kids find new things to be curious about, every day. America Online: Never stop learning.” Now that, my curious kids, is not a sponsorship announcement. That is an ad on public TV. It’s followed by another 15-second ad all about how Quaker Oatmeal helps kids learn, which is followed by another 15-second ad explaining how Spaghetti-Os help kids learn.
Which I guess is the Bush administration’s way of saying: With all these great corporations devoted to helping kids learn, why do we even need public broadcasting, anyway? Or public schools, for that matter! Let’s let Franco American do it! (Or, as they’re saying on Capitol Hill these days, let’s let Freedom American do it!)
I hate to start the season on this mercenary note, I really do, but I can’t help it. We Muppet fans, all we do these days is follow the money. It’s because of the damn Henson Company sale, which still has not happened as of the last two and a half years. It feels like I’ve spent months reading business-page articles about the Henson Company getting sold for one figure or another, and Sesame Workshop buying the rights to the Sesame characters, and getting into debt over it, and selling their share of the Noggin channel, and yada yada yada, and all I can say is that my personal curiosity is a lot less endless than it used to be.
And the thing is, as far as I know, this is the last thing — this new set of 26 Sesame Street episodes. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t know about some upcoming Muppet or Sesame project that was in development. Last year, there was Play With Me Sesame, and then the new season of Farscape, and then Kermit’s Swamp Years, the new season of Bear, the Christmas Movie, Animal Jam… By the time The New Thing came along, there was always another project that we knew was coming next. Right now there’s the new season of Sesame Street, and then… well, then everything gets horribly quiet. I guess everybody’s holding their breath waiting for the company to sell before they announce any more new projects.
I feel like I have to be extra nice to Sesame Street this week, so I don’t scare it away.
Luckily, the show seems pretty emotionally resilient today. The street story for the day is all about how it’s okay to screw up and wreck everything, as long as you keep trying. And if that’s not a horribly appropriate metaphor for what’s going on with the Muppets right now, then I don’t know my horribly appropriate metaphors.
The story is this: Alan is hosting Karaoke Night at Hooper’s, and all our Sesame friends are staying up late to sing and hang out on camera. It’s basically a big show-off production for the beginning of the season, and it’s very cute. They’ve set up tables and lights next to Hooper’s Store; everything looks festive and lively. The whole human cast is sitting at tables, and there’s puppets everywhere, popping up in every stray corner.
Plus, they’re singing some of the Greatest Hits, so it’s obvious that today, the Sesame cast is eager to please. First thing, Big Bird sings “ABC-DEF-GHI,” with the whole rest of the cast singing and clapping along, so you know that they’re serious about the entertainment today. Sesame Street has something to prove.
Next up, Rosita’s singing “I Say Hola, You Say Hola,” which is extremely big with the cuteness — but then two lines in, she makes a mistake and sings the wrong word. She hides her face and sobs into Alan’s shirt: “Oh, I am so embarrassed!” But all her friends in the audience are sweet and encouraging — “It’s okay, Rosita, just keep going!” Maria shouts, and Gina chimes in, “Yeah, everybody makes mistakes!” Go on, go on, they all shout. So Rosita dries her tears, and finishes her song, and everybody’s happy and applauds.
It goes on like that. Gina, Alan and Elmo sing “Ladybug’s Picnic,” but they come in at the wrong time, and they have to start over. Then it’s Baby Bear’s turn to sing “Let’s Go Driving” — and as soon as he gets up to the microphone, he freezes. Faced with an audience, he just cracks under the pressure — and he’s rescued by Telly, who’s been scared of performing the whole time. They end up singing together, and everyone loves it.
So is the horribly appropriate metaphor coming together for you yet? They’re auditioning for us, basically, using their famous characters and songs, and they keep reassuring each other that it’s okay to make mistakes. The audience cries, Who cares if your parent company goes bankrupt! We love you anyway! Just keep going!
Finally, the closing number is Bob, singing “People in Your Neighborhood” — and a couple lines in, the karaoke machine breaks down. “What can I say?” Alan shrugs. “It’s a rental.” But the Muppets all pull together, everybody grabbing an instrument — and the story ends with a good old-fashioned low-tech Sesame production number, with all the Muppets and humans singing and playing together, and having a great time.
So what do we learn from this story? Well, one interpretation is that it doesn’t matter if they don’t have any money anymore — the Muppets will just pull together and grab whatever they have on hand, and make a fun high-energy show that everybody loves, and everything will be okay.
The other interpretation is that they let Alan blow the entire production budget on a rented karaoke machine that doesn’t even work.
by Danny Horn
