My Week with Play With Me Sesame – Tuesday

Flop Sweat Sesame
Tuesday, April 16

All right, play friends. Let’s come to order. Today we’re going to watch another episode of Play With Me Sesame, and find something about it that we hate. Is everybody ready?

On the face of it, it doesn’t seem like a hard proposition. After all, it’s “interactive TV.” It sounds dreadful. I mean, they’re all running around, flapping their arms and barking orders at us. Sing this! Draw that! Touch your toes! Isn’t this FUN? It’s boot camp with Muppets.

I mean, back in my day, we’d do anything the Muppets told us. We’d quit school and join a commune if they asked us to. But that was a gentler, more innocent time. I have to imagine that the preschoolers of today are cynical and hard-bitten three year olds, sneering and throwing cheese doodles at the screen. This is basically how I picture it:

Grover: Is everybody ready to DANCE?

Three year old: Not especially, no.

Grover: Terrific! Now everybody GET UP! On your feet!

Three year old: I don’t really feel like it.

Grover: Great! Start the MUSIC!

Three year old: God, you’re an idiot.

I mean, it’s horrifying when you think of it. There’s Eric Jacobson in a TV studio somewhere, Grovering his little blue heart out, while a nation of three year olds yawn and heckle. It’s every performer’s worst nightmare. It’s Flop Sweat Sesame.

But gosh darn it if they aren’t willing to get back on that horse every single morning. Here comes Ernie, playing Duckie Says with Rubber Duckie. The jaded three year olds roll their eyes and order another drink. Then there’s an old Sesame clip, with Grover telling us that he wants to look at our nose.

Then it’s time for Prairie Dawn’s art show. She plays the little tune on her piano. Remember this part? Hello, dear play friends, etc. Seen it! say the three year olds. But then Prairie growls, “CHECK THIS OUT!” and gets all Jerry Lee Lewis on the piano. She cuts out with a blues riff.

So what are we waiting for?
I really don’t know! YEAHHH!
Let’s see your drawing, and let’s
Get on with the SHOWWW!

She shows us some drawings, and when they cut back to Prairie, she’s wearing sunglasses. She finishes with a loud piano roll. “Thank you! Thank you! Good NIGHT, everybody! I’ll be here all week.”

Wow. Dag. I didn’t see that coming.

Then there’s another old Sesame clip, with Kermit teaching us how to draw a triangle on the screen with our “magic pointy finger.” He lifts up his finger. “Now. What we will do. We’re going to start at the top here, and then when I go, one two three, zzzzzk, we will draw a line down here to this corner here, and then we’re gonna go across the bottom to this corner here, and then we’re gonna go back up to the top, back where we started, back up to the top, like that. Okay?” Okay. Well, I can’t hate this part. This is Henson. You can’t hate Henson. It’s just not possible.

And we get another chance not to hate Henson a few minutes later, because they show the old sketch where Ernie draws Bert’s face on to the screen, while Bert complains about how the lines are tickling him. They must know that I’m trying to hate this today, cause they’re bringing out the big guns.

At this point, anybody who can pretty much see where today’s entry is headed, you can be excused. Just go ahead and skip to Wednesday.

Still here? Good. Cause now here’s Grover — this is new Grover now, not 70’s Grover — here’s Grover telling us that we’re going to sing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” two different ways. First we sing it very, very quietly, which basically goes like this: “twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you etc.” Then we sing it again, but very, very loudly! “Is everybody ready? TWINKLE, TWINKLE, LITTLE STAR! HOW I WONDER WHAT YOU ARE! LOUDER! UP ABOVE THE WORLD SO HIGH! LOUDER! LIKE A DIAMOND IN THE SKY! STOMP WHILE YOU SING! TWIN! KLE! TWIN! KLE! LIT! TLE! STAR! HOW! I! WON! DER! WHAT! YOU! ARRRRRRRRRE!”

Then Ernie screams for Grover. “HI, ERNIE!” Ernie shrieks: “DO YOU THINK WE HAVE TIME FOR ONE MORE GAME OF ERNIE SAYS?” YES! Bert and Prairie Dawn join them. Prairie shouts: “WHY IS EVERYONE YELLING?” BECAUSE IT’S MORE FUN THAN TALKING QUIETLY! “OHHH! YOU’RE RIGHT!” They say GOOD-BYE! really loudly. Then they say goodbye really quietly. “HEY, YA KNOW WHAT?” Ernie shouts. “LOUD’S MORE FUN! YAAAAAAAAY!”

Well, I mean. I don’t care how jaded and cynical of a three year old you are. This show dares you not to love it. It turns you upside down and just shakes the love right out of your pockets.

But don’t worry. I’ll find a flaw tomorrow, I promise. It’s just that today I’m too busy drawing shapes with my magic pointy finger. Zzzzzk!

by Danny Horn