This week, I’ll be spending my time watching five consecutive episodes of Bear in the Big Blue House. What will you be doing?
I have a confession to make. As you’ve seen in the previous My Week columns, I try in my Muppet journalism to adopt a completely objective professional distance. I pride myself on telling the truth, not swayed by personal bias. My Sesame Street week was the first time I’d seen Elmo’s World, and my Tomie week was the first (and, Frog willing, the last) time I’ve seen Tomie dePaola.
But, in the spirit of full disclosure, I have to admit that I have already had intimate relations with Bear in the Big Blue House. I have watched the show many times. I own four Bear videos, and a couple of coloring books. When the live Bear tour came to Philadelphia, I stood in a mall with a hundred preschoolers and took pictures. When I bought my car last year, I named it Treelo, and glued a Treelo toy onto my dashboard. I just realized that there are two different Bear plush toys on my desk within my line of sight at this very moment.
So, basically, Bear and I are very good friends, and I came to this week’s Bear viewing a little worried that I was already too familiar with the show. Maybe I’ve seen it all, and I wouldn’t have anything new to write about.
At the start of the show, Bear opened his door and invited me in, as he does in every episode. He stopped to sniff me, as always – but then he stopped, and leaned against the wall. “Y’know, I do the same thing every day. You come visit me, I sniff you, and – hey, don’t get me wrong! I love to sniff you – it’s one of my favorite things! But whaddya say we do things a little differently today? How about you sniff me?”
Oh my gosh. Bear is reading my mind again. How does he DO it?
Bear invites me to sniff him, then explains that it’s nice to do things differently once in a while. Then he’s interrupted by his otter friends, Pip and Pop, who are terribly upset because they’ve seen a creepy bat out near the otter pond. He takes them out to the pond to see the bat, and he tries to explain to them that the bat is just an animal, like them. Bats are interesting – he has wings, like a bird, but he’s not a bird, because he doesn’t have feathers. But just because he’s different doesn’t mean that he’s bad. Pip and Pop leave, unconvinced. Then Bear explains to us that “the world is full of things – and people – that are different from each other! Which is a good thing. Because if things weren’t different, they’d be the same – and life wouldn’t be nearly as much fun!”
Okay. Stop me if I’m getting weird. But is Bear hitting on me?
I mean, he keeps talking directly to the camera, which creates this amazing intimacy. He already asked me to sniff him. And now he’s looking into my eyes and telling me that things – and people – can be different. It really feels like if the kids weren’t watching right now, he’d ask me for my phone number. I mean, is it getting hot in here?
Anyway. Turns out Ojo the bear cub and Tutter the mouse are scared of the bat too. Bear finds the bat in the attic, and he introduces himself. The bat’s name is Benny, and he has a funny Brooklyn accent. Bear acts as peacemaker, and offers to introduce Benny to his friends.
But when Bear goes downstairs, Ojo, Tutter, and the otters are all discussing how scary the bat is. They sleep upside down, and they sleep in the daytime! Tutter snaps, “Yeah, yeah, but y’know what else? Those big WINGS they’ve got – and, y’know, they’re not birds!” The otters agree: “Oh, that’s right! They’re not! The whole feathers thing.” Bear arrives just in time to hear Tutter say that he hates bats. “Whoa, whoa, hold it!” Bear says. “This is some serious stuff you’re saying.”
Okay. I just want to take a moment and appreciate that line. This is some serious stuff you’re saying. So respectful. So cool. So encounter-group. Bear is, like, moments away from saying that these are some seriously heavy vibes, and maybe we ought to just mellow out for a while. Then he’s going to light up a joint.
Anyway, Bear points out to his friends that they’re all different from each other – they’re different species, and different colors, and they like to eat different things. But that doesn’t stop them from being friends, does it? They all agree to go upstairs with Bear and meet the bat. They find out that Benny is already good friends with Treelo, the lemur – they like hanging upside down in trees together, and eating bananas. Benny sings a song, and teaches everyone his Bat Dance. Later that night, as Tutter goes to bed, he admits to Bear that he loves the Bat Dance. “And if I’d never met Benny, I never would have learned the Bat Dance, would I?” Then Bear says good night to Luna, the moon, and they talk about how great it is to meet people who are different. “We’re all different in our own ways, and that’s what makes the world a richer and a better place!”
A little too pro-social? I don’t care. Honestly, they could spoon-feed this junk to me forever. On any other show, I would hate to have Today’s Lesson About Life explained to me over and over. But on Bear, I find that I just agree with it. We are all different! It does make the world a richer and a better place! It’s like Bear has this direct link straight into my heart.
Bear says goodbye to Luna, and then turns directly to me again. “It’s great to try different things from time to time, but one thing will always stay the same.” What’s that, Bear? “I will always be happy to see you.”
Oh gosh. He’s so dreamy. I have such a crush on you, Bear. Call me. I mean it.
by Danny Horn
