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I’m sure that I’m giving away too much of my personal internal life when I say this, but there have actually been many moments when I’ve wished that I was more like Bear. The way he takes care of all his friends in the Blue House, and how he’s always patient and gentle and strong. The way he helps people to solve their own problems by just listening to them and being there for them, and how everything always gets better when he’s around. He’s like the ultimate therapist-dad-boyfriend, but he’s not stuck up about it, plus he walks around naked all the time. My feelings about Bear are very complex.
Anyway, whenever I get too caught up in comparing myself to Bear, I try to remind myself that it’s easy for Bear to be patient and gentle and strong, because he lives in a fictional world where everybody always apologizes, and I live in the real world, where people are just jerks and they don’t want to talk about it. So trampolines aside, this is the real drama of Breakfast with Bear: What happens when Bear has to go out into the world and actually interact with live kids? Is it possible to stay perfect in an imperfect world?
Today, Bear is visiting his friend Aaron: “Aaron lives in an apartment, in an apartment building here in the city!” I love how Bear says the word “apartment” like it’s the most wonderful thing in the world, like Aaron’s parents aren’t paying three thousand dollars a month for three rooms and a tiny kitchen. He knocks on the door, and Aaron’s mom lets him in. Aaron’s mom is pretty and self-confident and relaxed; she has a cool blouse on that says I’m not making a big deal about the fact that I’m on TV, but I want to look my best. She welcomes Bear in with a big smile. He says, “Thank you… Oh, you’ve redone the place.” This throws her for half a second, and then she laughs. Aaron’s mom is awesome.
Aaron greets Bear by throwing his arms around him and then not letting go, which forces Bear to back up a step in order to dislodge the child, on account of I love you, but we’re taping a TV show. “Good morning!” he says. “It’s so good to see you.” Aaron doesn’t say anything. “Thanks for having me.” Aaron blinks and looks down at the carpet. Bear looks around: “Wow, is this your room?” Now, I know it’s weird to compare myself to Bear like this, but just for a moment, I get a little feeling of relief, because Bear’s life involves making small talk with six year olds on television, and mine doesn’t.
Bear admires Aaron’s artwork, and then out of the blue, Aaron shows him the book he was reading. Bear says something about liking that book, and Aaron points at the back cover: “And you can collect all the books!” Bear says “Really!” because what else is there to say.
And then there’s just the most amazing dialogue.
Bear: “So… are you still a little sleepy when you wake up sometimes?”
Aaron: “Um… well… I have a lot of trouble.”
Aaron is talking to Bear, but he’s looking off to the distance, presumably checking in with the producer who told him what story to tell.
Bear: “Really?”
Aaron: “Cause my mom tries to pull me out the bed and says wake up, and I don’t wake up.”
Bear: “Ah… That happens to me, too. I have a lot of trouble waking up in the –”
Aaron: “I’m so tired! And…”
Bear: “It’s hard –”
Aaron: “And I sleep late, then she wants to wake me up, and I don’t wake up.”
Bear says, “Aaaaahhh,” but you know that deep inside, he’s thinking: Dude, my name’s in the title, stop stepping on my lines.
After a little Morning Mambo, Bear and Aaron go out onto the balcony, where Bear yells over the side: “Hey there! I’m on Aaron’s balcony!” Which is pretty much what every non-city person does as soon as they walk into a city apartment.
Bear sings his song about having breakfast, and then says: “I’m here on Aaron’s balcony, about to have the most important meal of the day — which is what, Aaron?” And Aaron says, “Spinach!”
And there you have it, right? Kayla was totally spot on perfect, all smiles and can-do attitude, and if there was a modeling agency where you could find seven year old girls missing most of their front teeth, I would think she was a professional. But Aaron is just a normal kid, and he’s gonna say whatever the heck pops into his fool brain.
So Bear just lobbed this huge softball question low and across the plate, and Aaron hit it way off into the bushes somewhere. Bear tries to recover. “Spinach! That’s an important food. That’s a, that’s very good. Spinach is very im — good for you, too. But, let’s think about this. Now, in order to start the day off with a lot of energy, you need to have a meal that begins with a B.”
Meanwhile, Aaron is looking at his grapefruit, clearly not paying attention. Aaron is the perfect urban child. A huge magical creature has come over to the house for breakfast, and Aaron is thinking about where he’s going for drinks tonight after work. He’s just on the verge of saying, can we wrap this up here? I have some calls to make. Even with all that begins-with-a-B stuff, they still need to cut away to a shot of Bear, and then to a shot of Aaron saying “Breakfast!”, which means that somewhere in the middle they had to coach Aaron on what to say.
“That’s right!” Bear shouts. “Breakfast, which begins with a B, is the most important meal of the day. And that is why we’re about to have breakfast, here on his balcony.” He looks around at the city. “Wow. I never –” Aaron reaches across the table, and says: “Can you pass the raspberries, please?”
“Oh, yes,” Bear says, and then there’s another edit, and then the next shot is Bear asking Aaron what they’re going to have for breakfast.
So that’s the secret, right? I think this is a breakthrough. Bear has a whole production team to bring him little bowls of fresh fruit and edit around the really awkward moments, and even with all of that, he can’t quite get the rhythm of a casual conversation with Aaron.
Usually when I watch Bear, I feel like he’s a comforting dad type presence, taking care of all his little friends, which naturally includes me as the viewer. But today, I actually feel protective towards Bear. He’s just trying to keep his TV show together, and the kid is running rings around him.
And then, just when you think life can’t get any harder for Bear, Aaron puts on his school uniform and then wants to play superheros. “We save kids, and also we save grownups,” Aaron says. He’s got a tie and a button-down shirt, and then a black cape on top of that, so he looks like a vampire at his bar mitzvah. He tells Bear that they’re catching robbers, who are robbing the bank, and some of the robbers are robbing the people, so we better go get the money and give it to the people. And then about thirty seconds later, he kind of drifts off and forgets what they’re doing, and Bear is basically on his own, just sneaking around some kid’s bedroom in a cape.
It’s a beautiful thing. Bear is more perfect now than ever.
