Ten years ago, the world was introduced to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and over the past decade, it has become one of the most dominant film franchises in recent history. And with this week’s release of Avengers: Infinity War, it seems like the world has caught Marvel fever. (Again.) So naturally, we here at ToughPigs have one driving thought: how can we cram Muppets into this? So I’ve taken it upon myself to recast some of Earth’s mightiest heroes with some of Earth’s most beloved puppet characters, and here are the results:
Kermit the Frog as Iron Man
Yeah, this one wasn’t terribly hard. Incredibly smart, a born leader, and protective of his friends. That sounds about right for both Tony Stark and Kermit.
Cookie Monster as The Incredible Hulk
Much like Bruce Banner, Cookie Monster has had trouble maintaining self-control, especially where his favorite food is concerned. And much like the Hulk, Cookie Monster can be a destructive force (c’mon, the dude ate a Volkswagen), but he can also be a powerful force for good. Plus, Cookie Monster’s already had some experience playing the Hulk before, so that’s a plus.
Elmo as The Mighty Thor
Much like Thor, Elmo belongs to two worlds. He rules Elmo’s World, but he calls Sesame Street home. And much like Elmo, Thor tends to see the best in people, particularly in his complicated relationship with Loki. Plus, he’s probably worthy of picking up Mjolnir.
Fozzie Bear as Captain America
You might think I would pick the patriotic Sam the Eagle to take Steve Rogers’ place, but as we’ve seen, Rogers is willing to defy the country he loves to do what he thinks is right. I don’t see Sam fleeing the United States anytime soon. What made me pick Fozzie was his speech in The Great Muppet Caper: “I’m just as scared as you are, but this has to be done! We don’t want the bad guys to win! We’ve gotta do this for justice, for freedom, for honesty.” Now, that sounds a lot like Cap to me, albeit slightly furrier.
Miss Piggy as Black Widow
A skilled fighter with an innate ability to get what she wants. In Black Widow, that ability manifests as a superspy. In Miss Piggy, that makes her… a star. Frankly, I wouldn’t want to tick either of them off.
Lew Zealand as Hawkeye
Many jokes have been made of Hawkeye’s superpowers boiling down to using a bow and arrow. The way I see it, Hawkeye may only have one superpower, but he does it well. You know who else does one thing and does it well? Lew Zealand. He may be a one-trick pony, but he’s a master with projectiles (fish projectiles, but they’re still effective).
Grover as War Machine
Yes, the Muppet best known for being a part-time superhero gets his time to shine as the duty-bound soldier and Tony Stark’s best friend. Now granted, Grover usually unwittingly annoys Kermit, but imagine them working together to stop a mad titan from destroying half the universe. Wouldn’t they be so cute together? And Grover wouldn’t stop talking about how cute they look together in their adorable iron suits and eensy-teensy arc reactors.
Scooter as The Falcon
Yep, every hero needs a good friend who will back them up when they need it the most, and Scooter is one of the most loyal Muppets imaginable. He’s a reliable stagehand and go-fer, and with mechanical wings, the odd jobs will just fly by. Get it, fly? Yeah, sorry about that.
Sam the Robot as Vision
So one is a robot learning about humanity who has the ability to do practically anything. The other is Vision. But seriously, these characters have some serious parallels. While he can’t move through matter like The Vision can, Sam has some serious abilities. By his own admission, he can be “an adding machine, a subtracting machine, gumball machine, soda pop dispensing machine, [and a] jukebox.” So Thanos has the Infinity Gauntlet. You have gumballs. Gumballs!
Rowlf the Dog as The Winter Soldier
Much like Bucky Barnes, Rowlf was virtually kept “on ice” after The Jimmy Dean Show, appearing sporadically through the years until he was reawakened for The Muppet Show. Plus, we know that Fozzie and Rowlf work well together, so having them so close together would be an asset to the team.
Count von Count as Scarlet Witch
Yep, we’re going to do a little gender-bending with this casting. Wanda Maximoff may be able to telekinetically move things and telepathically influence people, Count von Count can summon thunder and lightning with just a hearty laugh. Sure you risk the Count stopping to count the Infinity Stones, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take.
Dead Tom as Quicksilver
Umm… spoiler alert?
Zoe as Ant-Man
Since we recast a female character with a male Muppet, I thought it was only fair to go the other way, too. I’m giving Zoe this one mostly because she’s had experience changing sizes.
Uncle Deadly as Loki
Uncle Deadly’s had some experience playing villains, and a consummate actor like Deadly would relish Loki’s character arc as he’s gone from sidekick to villain to reluctant hero. Not to mention that Loki may be one of the most fashionable characters in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
Walter as Spider-Man
Much like Peter Parker, Walter is a young, energetic guy who feels like he could be doing more with his abilities. And given that Walter’s kinda been pushed toward the background since Muppets Most Wanted, that feeling resonates with this Muppet fan.
The Great Gonzo as Doctor Strange
Now I know other characters have magical abilities, but let’s be honest, if any Muppet would trek to Kamar-Taj to learn about ancient sorcery, it’s the guy who would go to Bombay, India to be a movie star. I mean, he probably wasn’t learning to heal himself after a critical accident, but rather to learn something for his act. But we know he already has the costume, so we’re good.
The Fraggles as the Guardians of the Galaxy
Let’s run through this quickly. Gobo’s a confident (often too confident) leader like Star-Lord, Red is a very physical character like Gamora, Wembley is all heart (and often misunderstood) like Drax, Boober is highly intelligent and overly practical like Rocket, Mokey is empathetic and kind like Mantis, and Marjorie is an organic source of wisdom, like Groot. Oh, wait, I forgot about Uncle Traveling Matt. Let’s make him… Howard the Duck. Yeah, that sounds good. He shows up briefly, and delights fans who may have forgotten about him.
Junior Gorg as Black Panther
Born to rule his land? Check. Is tasked with defending his home? Check. Lives in a secret place hidden to most others? Check. Is able to pronounce “Wakanda” correctly? Let’s say… check.
Tex Richman as Thanos
Sure, I could’ve picked another Muppet for this one, but let’s be honest, only one villain in Muppet movie history ever had their true motivation be the utter destruction of the Muppets. Doc Hopper wanted a spokesman, Nicky Holiday was just a villain plain-and-simple, Martin Prince, Long John Silver, Constantine all wanted money and other treasures, and K. Edgar Singer wanted to prove that aliens do exist. But Tex Richman had his sights set on destroying the Muppet Theater. He said it was for oil, but the rest of the film proves that he wants the Muppets obliterated from everyone’s memories. And that’s as dangerous to the Muppets as you can get.
Well, I hope you’ve had fun with this Muppety reimagining of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and remember, that when you need them to fight the battles you never could… oh wait, I knew I was forgetting someone!
Jim Henson as Stan Lee
Cameoing in his own projects before it was cool.
Click here to be a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist amphibian on the ToughPigs forum!
by Matthew Soberman
