Ryan Dosier – Greetings and happy haunts, Muppet fans! Today marks the second day in October and the beginning of our yearly transition into Muppety Halloween mode! Oooooo! (That was a ghost.) The first two years of The Muppet Mindset, when October came around, I wrote two of my favorite article series that I’ve ever done: Muppet Halloween Costume Spooktacular, in which I provide my snarky take on that year’s crop of Muppet/Sesame Street/Fraggle Rock Halloween costumes that are commercially available for you to buy. With all the excitement of The Muppets last year, I neglected to do it, but this year we’re back with even more snark and even stranger costumes! As before, the costumes are judged on three qualities: Likeness, Fun Factor, and Scare Factor, ranked on a scale of 0-5. Today we’re taking a look at the Muppet costumes for small children–from babies to tweens! Let’s get started, shall we?
TODDLER BOYS KERMIT THE FROG COSTUME – $19.99
LIKENESS – Aww!! Look at his widdle face! Kermit has never been cuter (although when we get to the female adult Kermit costumes the type of cute will change). Is it sad that I’m contemplating buying this and holding onto it just for my future child? …Don’t answer that. Anyway… the likeness isn’t perfect, but it’s pretty darn good, surprisingly. The collar makes this costume great. (And, y’know, the adorable baby.) 4 STARS
FUN FACTOR – So. Much. Fun. I’ve seen some sites that are selling this alongside an adult Miss Piggy costume for a fantastic mom/baby pairing. Imagine getting dad and older sibling in on the act and having a whole family of Muppet costumes! Fun to the max. 5 STARS
SCARE FACTOR – I can’t come up with anything scary to say about this costume… it does kind of look like Kermit is eating an adorable baby, but then you look at the adorable baby and you lose your train of thought. 0 STARS
LIKENESS – Nope, never mind, here’s my future child’s Halloween costume. This is great. The cape is spectacular and the eyes are really nice. The nose leaves a lot to be desired… but it’s a baby, so we’ll let it slide. Also of note… the product description for this costume says, “Your baby can become a member of the Frackles in our Muppets Gonzo Costume!” If your baby doesn’t want to be a member of the Frackles then you’ve failed as a parent! 4 STARS
FUN FACTOR – There’s a great amount of fun you can have with this costume. Dress up the family dog as Camilla and your already on your way! Just don’t shoot your baby out of a cannon. I know he’s wearing a Great Gonzo costume but… just don’t. 4 STARS
SCARE FACTOR – It’ll only be scary if you do shoot your baby out of a cannon. 0 STARS
LIKENESS – This one is the best yet! What a fantastic costume. Who knew Animal could be condensed so small so well? The pants and ripped shirt is a great touch, and the orange body area is great. But what sells it is the really, really great Animal head-piece thing. 100 times better than any official adult Animal costume we’ve seen in recent years. Plus, stick this thing on a baby in his/her “terrible twos” and you’ve got a fully accurate representation of Animal! 5 STARS
FUN FACTOR – I’m picturing an awesome family of five doing an Electric Mayhem group costume… and now I can’t get the image out of my head. Someone please do this and put your baby on drums in this Animal costume. 5 STARS
SCARE FACTOR – How can you be scared of this cute little monster? I guess if the baby was as ravenous about food/women/bunnies/drums as the real Animal it could get a little frightening… but mostly just awesome. 0 STARS
BABY FOZZIE BEAR COSTUME – $19.99
LIKENESS – Is anyone else starting to think that this is what Muppet Babies should’ve been like? Or is it just me? Just me? Alright, moving on. Another pretty great costume. The bowtie is such a nice touch and the hat makes for a cute-splosion. The Muppet geek in me wishes the costume were fuzzier and more Fozzie-like, but I get why it’s not and it’s suitable as-is. 4 STARS
FUN FACTOR – A dual-baby Kermit and Fozzie costume collaboration would be incredible. Imagine two twin babies in the Kermit and Fozzie costumes! Gah! Spectacular. Bonus points if you give Fozzie Baby a rubber chicken and a Groucho mask in every picture. 5 STARS
SCARE FACTOR – Nope… I’ve got nothing. None of these baby costumes are scary. The snarky side of me has been defeated for these. 0 STARS
TODDLER GIRLS MISS PIGGY COSTUME – $19.99
LIKENESS – And my snarky side is back! Yeesh. The hair looks… interesting. I guess for a baby costume this isn’t terrible, but it’s also not great. Also, the baby is kind of frightening. However, if I saw a pair of babies dressed as Kermit and Piggy… well, I’m sure I wouldn’t care that the likeness isn’t perfect. 2 STARS
FUN FACTOR – I don’t really know what it says that someone might want to dress their child up as both a pig and a diva… but that’s just me being overly analytical. Mostly this is just a harmless, fun little costume. 4 STARS
SCARE FACTOR – If you teach your baby Miss Piggy style karate then this costume gets some scare points… or awesome points, depending on how you look at it. 0 STARS
GIRL’S FOZZIE BEAR COSTUME – $39.99
LIKENESS – Umm… likeness? The only thing that is good in this likeness is the hat. I don’t really know why a tween girl would want to dress as Fozzie Bear for Halloween, and that’s good because this isn’t really Fozzie Bear. It’s just a Fozzie shirt/skirt thing. I will say that I like the choice of the bow-tie belt, and the hat is pretty nice, but beyond that I’m just left saying, “Huh?” 1 STAR
FUN FACTOR – I guess if your little girl is really into Fozzie and this was her only option then she could have fun with it. But I can’t see many girls wanting to choose this costume over, say, a princess or that Twilight girl or something. But kudos to them if they do! To me, this costume doesn’t look fun, just weird–and not in a good way. 2 STARS
SCARE FACTOR – This costume is scary only because it was made–plus those shiny black boots are disturbing. But not scary in a “BOO!” sense… but scary in an I want to boo it like Statler and Waldorf sense. 1 STAR
GIRL’S KERMIT THE FROG COSTUME – $30.00
LIKENESS – Again, not really a costume as much as it is a dress with Kermit’s face on it. This isn’t to say it’s a bad thing… but when I think of costumes I think of masks and froggy flipper slippers and such. It’s understandable why a little girl’s Kermit costume would be lacking these elements, so I’ll let this pass. However if you’re going to call it a Kermit the Frog “costume,” and it’s just a Kermit skirt, expect to lose likeness points. 0 STARS
FUN FACTOR – On the fun factor I’m much more lenient here. This is a delightful little costume for a Muppet-loving little girl. Halloween must be tough for female Muppet fans, what with the lack of girl Muppets, so this is an acceptable solution, says I–and drastically better than the Fozzie costume. 4 STARS
SCARE FACTOR – Nothing scary to see here. Move along! 0 STARS
GIRL’S ANIMAL COSTUME – $35.99
LIKENESS – Just like the Kermit costume above, the likeness to Animal is almost non-existant. This is basically an Animal groupie costume–which is fine! It’s just not an Animal costume in the traditional sense in that it should look like Animal. However, one likeness point will be given for the tattered shirt and the chain wrist things. 1 STAR
FUN FACTOR – The drumsticks don’t come with this costume, so the fun factor slips a little bit there… but even the product description says, “When she puts on this great costume, Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem is going to want her on the drums!” So… that could be fun, right? (I mean, not for Muppet fans who might have to watch that happen, but for the little girl.) 4 STARS
SCARE FACTOR – Again, not much to be scared about here–except for those shiny black boots showing up again. 1 STAR
Well, that does it for Part 1 of The Muppet Halloween Spooktacular 2012! Check back every Tuesday in October, for future installments! Next week we’ll take a look at adult costumes, including this monstrosity:
The Muppet Mindset by Ryan Dosier, muppetmindset@gmail.com
