Breaking News
Part 12: The Wrong Princess
Cast: Jim Henson (Kermit),Camille Bonora (Princess), Marty Robinson (Vic), Richard Hunt (Tony), Jerry Nelson (Announcer).
| Announcer
|
We take you now to Kermit the Frog with another fast breaking news story! |
| Kermit
|
Hi ho, Kermit the Frog here, speaking to you from the palace of the Princess in that famous story of The Princess And The Pea. Now, as you know, the Princess in that story was so sensitive, that when a single pea — like this one right here — was placed in her bed, she couldn’t sleep all night long, because she could feel it through a whole pile of mattresses. How about that. A single little pea like this one. [ He eats the pea. ] Mmm-mmm. Needs salt. Anyhow, behind me now is the door to the bedroom where the Princess has been tossing and turning all night long. And any minute… |
| [ The guards play a fanfare. ] | |
| Kermit
|
Oh, here comes the Princess now! |
| [ The Princess enters, yawning. ] | |
| Kermit
|
Ah, good morning, Princess! Kermit the Frog here, of Sesame Street News, can you tell me — how did you sleep last night? |
| Princess
|
Ahhh… like a log! |
| Kermit
|
I see. Okay, folks, you heard it right here, she slept like a log… now, wait a second, how could you sleep like a log? What about the pea? |
| Princess
|
What pea? |
| Kermit
|
The pea under your mattress. The pea, you’re supposed to keep tossing and turning all night long! Didn’t you feel the pea? |
| Princess
|
… No. |
| Kermit
|
Well, aren’t you the Princess from The Princess And The Pea? |
| Princess
|
Noooo, I’m the Princess from The Princess And The C, froggie! Here, I’ll show ya! |
| [ She goes back into her bedroom. ] | |
| Kermit
|
But… but… The Princess And The C? |
| [ The Princess brings him a big letter C. ] | |
| Princess
|
Here it is! |
| Kermit
|
But… that is a C, all right, but I don’t suppose you slept on that. |
| Princess
|
Well, sure… along with all the other stuff. |
| Kermit
|
The other stuff? What other stuff? |
| Princess
|
Vic! Tony! Bring out the bed. |
| Vic
|
Okay! |
| Tony
|
Okay. |
| Kermit
|
What… I don’t believe this. Who booked the wrong Princess on this show? Who’s the talent coordinator here? |
| [ Vic and Tony wheel out the Princess’ bed, which is covered in things that begin with C. ] | |
| Vic
|
Okay! Here we go. |
| Kermit
|
Uh, excuse me, Princess, you actually sleep on all of this? |
| Princess
|
Why, yeah. Each of these things starts with the letter C. It’s kinda like my trademark. A cactus — see? |
| Kermit
|
A cactus, yeah… |
| Princess
|
A coconut… |
| Kermit
|
Mm hmm. Coconut. |
| Princess
|
A clarinet… and back there is a crocodile… and here’s a clock. |
| Kermit
|
Crocodile… and clock. But, uh, you actually sleep on the clock, but, uh, why? |
| Princess
|
Why? |
| Kermit
|
Mm hmm. |
| Princess
|
Hey, I’m a Princess! I gotta kingdom to take care of! I gotta deal with ogres, and giants, and witches! I gotta be TOUGH, froggie! And sleeping on this stuff MAKES me tough! |
| Kermit
|
Uh, yeah, well, I can see that. |
| Princess
|
Yeah, you oughta try it sometime. |
| Kermit
|
Uh, well… |
| Princess
|
Here, why don’t you lie down on that coconut? |
| Kermit
|
Well, I’d love to, but I’m afraid we’re all out of time. |
| Princess
|
Aw, c’mon — Vic, Tony! Put the frog on this stuff. Yeah. |
| Kermit
|
Uh, this is Kermit the Frog… wait, wait a second… What are you doing to me? |
| Princess
|
Yeah, you’re gonna love it, froggie! |
| [ Vic and Tony grab Kermit, and force him to lie down on the bed. ] | |
| Vic
|
There ya go, frog! |
| Princess
|
Hey, Vic — slide that clarinet right under him, yeah… |
by Danny Horn
