Around these parts, “A Muppet Family Christmas” is legendary; a special many of us watch year after year and quote endlessly. Some even claim it’s the best production the Muppets have ever done. So as a die-hard Muppet fan, I was curious what a casual Muppet fan would think of my personal favorite Christmas special. So this past week, I sat down with my girlfriend, Rachel Hastings (Follow her on Twitter: @RachelHastings), and I introduced her to:
(A quick note: Rachel is by no means a stranger to the Muppets, but she’s not exactly a Tough Pig, either. She’s seen a few of the Muppet movies and some episodes of “The Muppet Show” and “Sesame Street,” but almost none of “Fraggle Rock.” That part is shown by her referring to Doc as “the old guy” throughout our viewing.)
And away we go!
Matt: The gang is heading to Fozzie’s mom’s farmhouse, but she’s coming to visit us here in California. See the conflict already?
Rachel: Mmhmm. He probably should’ve called her first.
Matt: Maybe bears don’t have phones. How many of them do you recognize?
Rachel: I haven’t gotten a good look at them all yet. I remember Ma.
Matt: Remember him?
Rachel: The guy or the dog?
Matt: Either one.
Rachel: I remember the dog. I don’t remember the guy.
Matt: He’s from “Fraggle Rock.”
Rachel: That’s right.
Rachel: From the beginning, I thought they were gonna get there and his mom was gonna be gone. And there’s Beaker!
Matt: Is he your favorite?
Rachel: Yup!
“You promised me a nice, quiet Christmas.”
Rachel: What else has this guy been in? Other than “Fraggle Rock”?
Matt: I have no idea.
Rachel: Hmm.
Matt: Check out her wig, it’s so ‘80s.
Rachel: Mmmhmm. And her dress, too.
Matt: Mmmhmm.
Rachel: How far did they drive? If she’s gonna “be right there;” it seems like they drove really far.
Matt: I don’t know, to the mountains somewhere. Sometimes they live in New York; sometimes they live in California; sometimes they live in England.
Rachel: Wow. They get around.
Matt: Sometimes they live in Sweden.
Rachel: I think wherever they go, he’s imported. I also love the Swedish Chef. It really says something when a character doesn’t really say anything but you still laugh at everything he says.
Matt: Is that why you like him and Beaker so much?
Rachel: Yeah. Oh no! Is he gonna cook the chickens?
Matt: He’s gonna cook that turkey.
Rachel: It still seems mean to do it in front of them.
Matt: True.
Rachel: I don’t recognize the one on the left.
Matt: The turkey? He’s a new character for this special.
Rachel: Oh. But he sounds just like Rizzo.
Matt: Right, yeah, he’s the same performer.
Rachel: Now does mini-Kermit have a name that I don’t know?
Matt: That’s his nephew, Robin.
Rachel: And does he play Tiny Tim?
Matt: Yeah.
Rachel: What’s his name, Robert?
Matt: Robin.
Rachel: Robin.
Matt: Right now he’s “Rockin’ Robin.”
Rachel: And a lot of them look familiar, I just don’t know their names. Like her, I don’t know her name.
Matt: That’s Janice.
Rachel: Okay. What happened to the old guy?
Matt: He’s probably hiding upstairs.
Rachel: He was really complaining for a little while there.
Matt: Yeah, he’s old and ornery.
Rachel: It kind of is surprising to me that none of these other characters have families to go home to. They all just went to Fozzie’s. Unless they’re going on a grand tour of all of their families, in which case it’s fine.
Matt: Yeah, next they’re gonna go to Kermit’s swamp.
Rachel: And Rizzo’s hole under the ground in the sewers.
“Yo Fozzie, I finally made it.”
Rachel: Yay!
“I’ll go out and see if there’s a spare pillow in the kennel.”
Rachel: Aww. Once you have, like, 25 Muppets in your house, what’s one more, ya know?
Rachel: Classic Christmas song.
Matt: With coconut shavings on the snowman.
Rachel: Is that what they are?
Matt: Probably.
Rachel: Not feathers?
Matt: I’m guessing coconut.
Snowman: Actually, I’m a snewman?
Fozzie: What’s a snewman?
Snowman: Nothing’s a-snew, man. What’s a-snew with you?
Rachel: Oh snap! I wonder if when they were saying jokes like that they knew they were bad jokes or if at the time they thought they were good jokes.
Matt: I think they were already old and bad by the time they did this.
Rachel: What year was this?
Matt: 1987.
Rachel: Yeah, those jokes would’ve been actually bad by then.
Matt: Plus, we already heard that joke in 1960.
Rachel: That’s right, from the reindeer on The Ed Sullivan Show.
Rachel: He’s coming around!
Rachel: I love the penguins! And the bunny – what’s his name?
Matt: That one doesn’t have a name.
Rachel: Who’s the one that buys the big turkey at the end of “Christmas Carol”?
Matt: That’s Bean.
Rachel: Beeeeeean. I love Bean.
Matt: Miss Piggy’s contract has a “no less than 3 costume changes in a special” clause.
Rachel: No way?
Matt: Just kidding!
Rachel: I’d believe it, though. She loves clothes!
Fozzie: Now can I tell you about my new act?
Kermit: I’m all ears!
Rachel: No he’s not!
Matt: He’s zero ears.
“Frogs don’t even have ears!”
Rachel: Boom!
Rachel: Oh no! Man, that guy. I feel like maybe he never acted until this. He’s, like, not really a good actor.
“It’s the very first Christmas the Muppets ever spent together.”
Matt: You’ll like this part!
Rachel: Oh no! Are they babies?!
Matt: Maaaaybe.
Rachel: I love the babies.
Rachel: Aaah! Is that actually Kermit or is that a Kermit doll? Either way it’s very creepy that she would have a doll of her friend.
Matt: Sure is!
Rachel: They’re so cute! Oh no! So wait, did they not live with their parents even when they were babies? ‘Cause Ma didn’t know who Rowlf was.
Matt: I don’t know. The parents situation is iffy.
Rachel: Well, they’re very cute.
Rachel: Gasp! Yeah, that was great.
Rachel: Oh, that’s … that’s creepy.
Matt: Not as creepy as Gonzo and Camilla.
Rachel: Hmm, that’s true.
“Hark! What do I hear?”
Matt: Uh-oh, here comes phase 2.
Rachel: Oh boy!
Rachel: Oh my goodness! Now was there anything with the Muppets vs. Sesame Street characters where like – did Jim Henson still technically own all of it?
Matt: At this point in time, yeah, so he could do whatever he wanted with all of them.
Rachel: Gotcha. It never hit me until now: Bert’s voice sounds exactly like Squidward.
Matt: Squidward?
Rachel: Yeah! Exactly like Squidward.
Matt: I guess so. And look, there’s Elmo!
Rachel: Elmo! I love him.
Matt: This was before he was huge.
Rachel: Well, he was never physically huge.
Matt: No, he’s very tiny.
Rachel: He’s a tiny monster. See, now I’d be pissed if they were all coming in.
Matt: I didn’t want to say anything when you were talking about Rowlf coming in.
Rachel: Yeah yeah yeah. This is a whole new ballgame. But now he’s on board, so who knows?
Ernie: Hi there! We’re Ernie and Bert!
Doc: Well, hi there yourself. I’m Doc.
Bert: Oh! Did you know that Doc starts with the letter D?
Doc: Why… yes.
Ernie: Yes! Yes starts with the letter Y!
Doc: … True.
Ernie: And true starts with the letter T!
Doc: Hey, what is this?
Bert: Where we come from, this is small talk.
Rachel: Hah! That was my favorite joke so far.
Rachel: Do you think Swedish people are offended by him?
Matt: No, they don’t care. They just get tired of that question. In Sweden, he’s the Norwegian Chef.
Rachel: Interesting.
“Barometers are falling.”
Rachel: Hahaha! Now that’s my favorite joke.
“I’ve never had a rat in my trashcan before. That might be nice.”
Rachel: That sounds dirty.
Matt: He does love trash. And filth.
“Cookies!”
Rachel: Classic Cookie Monster. So wait, did they just not know them and then take them all in? The carolers.
Matt: I think – Well, Kermit used to visit Sesame Street a lot. He has an apartment there. I don’t know how well everyone else knows everyone.
Rachel: Right. So, like, this is super weird, right?
Matt: Yeah.
“Note how the hand never touches the spoon!”
Rachel: Hahah! That’s a pretty good joke, too.
“Is nothing sacred?”
Rachel: I love Sam; he’s great. You know what he’s about.
“It’s cold enough out there to freeze your Winnebago!”
Rachel: What … ?!
Matt: Somehow that became a catchphrase.
Rachel: Is that the same guy?
Matt: Yeah.
Rachel: Man, he just slips right out of there.
Matt: Maybe he snuck out for a smoke.
Rachel: Mmm. Smoking is bad.
Rachel: I wonder if she’s ever done commercials for Piggly Wiggly.
Matt: I doubt it.
Rachel: That would be good, though.
Rachel: I didn’t even see them come in.
Matt: They snuck in, too.
Rachel: Old guys just sneaking around, jeez!
“Statler! Waldorf! Where’d you guys come from?”
Rachel: I love how every time I point out that something’s weird, like them coming in, the Muppets will say “When did you get here?!”
Matt: You’re picking up on the same plot holes.
“That’s 2! 2 worried frogs! Ah ah ah ah.”
Matt: More of that Sesame Street small talk.
“Search me. More small talk, I think.”
Rachel: See?! There ya go! Oh no! Get outta there, Big Bird!
“I wanted to give it to you because, well, I know that you’re from Sweden and it must be hard for you because you’re away from your family and loved ones during the holidays.”
Rachel: I’d love to see the Swedish version, like if they had a bad dub of Big Bird saying, “(In Bird Bird voice) You’re from – (In deep voice) NORWAY!” Now Beaker isn’t actually speaking in any kind of language, right? Just noises.
Matt: Yep, just noises.
Matt: And Chef has a change of heart and isn’t going to cook him!
Rachel: Good! ‘Cause they’re all friends!
“We never met any of you a little while ago, and now we’re friends!”
Rachel: Mmm, are you? He’s mostly been lurking in the background, being real creepy.
Matt: That’s how Doc becomes friends with people, watching them behind fences and bushes.
Rachel: Oh God. His definition for making friends is “I watch you for half an hour and then we’re friends!”
Robin: Uncle Kermit!
Kermit: Robin? Where are you?
Robin: I’m in the cellar!
Rachel: I love Robin’s voice.
Matt: Well, you’re about to hear it twice. I like how knowledgeable Kermit is about Fraggles.
Rachel: He’s a well-educated frog.
“Don’t touch ‘em! Frogs are probably noted germ-carriers.”
Rachel: Well you look live under a rock, so step off.
Matt: That’s just Boober, he hates germs.
Rachel: I know, I’m just saying he lives under the earth so he’s dirty.
Rachel: Whenever Kermit opens his mouth right now, because of the video quality, it looks like lipstick.
“Robin, before you go, I’d like you to have this pebble.”
Rachel: Awww! That’s so sweet.
Rachel: Oh, goodness.
Matt: Outfit #3
Rachel: There ya go! Is that the old guy? He also has a new outfit.
“You don’t have to explain, Doc. If there’s one thing Miss Piggy knows it’s how to make an entrance.”
Rachel: “You don’t have to explain”?
Matt: It’s just Miss Piggy.
Rachel: I love how they point it out and then they’re like, “See how she did this weird thing? But we don’t have to explain it!”
“You are *ALL* here, aren’t you?”
Rachel: It’s still funny to me that there’s so many of them, but she was so pissed about Rowlf.
“They’re all weirdos, but… they’re nice weirdos.”
Rachel: But Fozzie’s one of them!
Matt: True. Love your weirdo son!
Rachel: They should’ve done “12 Days of Christmas,” but with, like, Muppet things. Count would’ve freaking loved that!
Rachel: Do they, when they’re filming, record the audio and the video at the same time, or do they do one or the other first?
Matt: They usually do the audio first for songs because they’re singing it so many times; it’s hard on their voices. But when they’re just talking, they do them both at the same time.
“Hang a shining star upon the highest bough!”
Rachel: They should’ve had Rowlf come in there and sing, “Boww!”
Matt: The snowman is very operatic.
Rachel: Mmmhmm. Beaker! I’d also like to hear a Beaker “Carol of the Bells.” Is that a thing that’s been done?
Matt: That is a thing that’s been done! We can watch it later.
Rachel: Oh good! Robin’s really good at closing things out.
Matt: Mmmhmm.
Rachel: I feel like I’ve heard this “We’ll be together at Christmas” song before.
Matt: This is from a special called, “The Christmas Toy,” which was about toys coming to life. It came out before “Toy Story.”
Rachel: Oh. I don’t remember that.
Rachel: Oh. It’s weird that he can just give her another creature. It’s a very grey area with them, like, cooking and eating each other and giving each other as presents.
“Ho ho ho!”
Rachel: Yay! Is that the old guy?
Matt: Yup!
Rachel: Do they know or do they think it’s really Santa?
Matt: I don’t kno-ow!
“They certainly look like they’re having a good time out there. I like it when they have a good time.”
Rachel: Awww! What’s with his jacket, though? It’s zebra striped.
Matt: More ’80s fashions, go figure. Gonzo’s got a Hugh Hefner robe.
Rachel: Hah! That was very cute.
Matt: How many of them did you recognize? What percent?
Rachel: Most of them. I would say, like, 80 percent.
Matt: What was your favorite part?
Rachel: I really liked all the Swedish Chef stuff. That was a really good Swedish Chef feature. I feel like you don’t see him as having much of a big role most of the time, like here where he had a storyline. I like that. And I liked that it was very silly. OH! And the Rowlf thing. I think that was very funny, how Ma just was not having it. But then invited in two more groups of other Muppets.
Matt: She was very discriminatory against Rowlf.
Rachel: Yeah! It was racist or something, I don’t know. There were so many other animals and non-animals there, but she was just pissed about Rowlf.
Matt: Would you watch it again next Christmas?
Rachel: Absolutely I would! I thought it was wonderful.
Matt: Oh, good!
Rachel: Thank you for showing me.
Matt: You are welcome.
Click here to freeze your Winnebago on the ToughPigs forum!
by Matt Wilkie and Rachel Hastings
