This post was written by our pal Kieran Moore, usually responsible for our weekly Top 10 Lists. The cheesy Photoshop jobs were done by our own Jarrod Fairclough.
Kieran Moore – Picture the scene – it’s a hot, sweaty Thursday afternoon and there are rumblings in the courthouse that something is about to happen. The jury have come to a decision. The time is now. The tension in the air is palpable as a pointy-collared frog gulps and stands to hear his fate. The public gallery is packed to the rafters (mostly with barnyard animals) and the room is so silent even the pin can hear itself drop. The Foreman stands. Spying a large, furry creature with a big mouth and yellow eyes, he shuffles nervously and opens his mouth to speak.
“CANCELLED”
At least, that’s approximately how it happened.
Whatever your opinion of “The Muppets (2015)” I think as Muppet fans we can all agree things are slightly less celebrational right now than we’d like, but there is always hope.
Let’s look at this logically. Sure, the ratings for the show weren’t great at the end, but they were fantastic for the opener. After all, ABC were touting all kinds of statistics about the show being the highest rated Tuesday show where a bear in a hat drives a car (or something) and those figures mean that the general public still care about the Muppets. A lot of people got caught up in the Kermit/Piggy split and that translated into viewers tuning in to see what the guys were up to. They were invested in the Muppets. Fair enough, a lot of people weren’t keen on what they actually saw and turned off too soon to see the reboot, but the fact remains we now have at least a ball park figure of people who would be willing to watch the Muppets every week and that ball park just happens to be the Dodger Stadium.
So if Netflix (#NETFIPS) or anyone else for that matter (where’s Lew Grade when you need him?) wants to pick up the mantle and run with it I’d say “The Muppets” is a fairly safe bet as long as we can show that things have changed. To that end, I think I’ve found the perfect solution.
Thanks to its chronically ambiguous title the show could be just about anything and I think going forward it should take a leaf from “American Horror Story” where things are constantly re-themed. The Muppets would act as a kind of repertory Theater Company with each season having a totally new and unrelated story.
However silly (you have been warned) the rest of this article may be, I really do think that’s a great idea for “The Muppets” and the Muppets and would play to their all-round entertainer strengths. So, I now present to you a few ideas for a reinvigorated “The Muppets”. Not all of them are fully-fleshed out, but then I’m not a big time Hollywood producer so you have to cut me some slack – I can’t be expected to think of everything!
The Muppets: Boarding House
I think we can all agree that one of the best things about “Muppets from Space” was the Muppet boarding house. It was a thrill to see the gang all living together and fighting for the bathroom, mowing the lawn or playing cards. I think some of us secretly hope that the Muppets do all live together somewhere and this could make that dream come true. Flat share problems are a basic sit-com trope so this would likely be a safe option, but I really think there’s gold in them thar hills – comedy gold that is. The Muppets can run the place as a literal guest house with celebs popping in to stay for an episode or two and they can all pay using option C. We’ll see Floyd and Bobo argue about the last of the milk, Deadly take up residence in the attic as the “Wilson Wilson” of the show and we can even have a running gag about Kermit painting the house. I seriously think this has potential…
The Muppets: Haunted House
The oft-delayed, might-never-happen idea of the Muppets in a haunted house would make a great mystery themed show. Scooter inherits a creepy house from his uncle (who used to own the theater) and the gang all go along to fix the place up. Much creepiness ensues with Muppet ghosts, monsters and general weirdness causing all sorts of mayhem. Strange sketches and songs would be played out as the Muppets enter rooms to find the ghosts, monsters, etc. mid performance. All that Muppet weird stuff we love would be back – let’s have an update of “Java” or “Rag Mop” and a whole new generation of similar oddball pieces. Uncle Deadly (him again) is a strange resident at the house and the gang finally meet him a few episodes in. He’s always around when something strange happens… however, the big reveal would be Skeeter who would show up in the mid-season finale. There have been rumblings that she might be behind some of the strange goings on for a few weeks prior to this and we’re not sure for a while what her true intentions are. Is she after Scooters’ half of the inheritance? Does she want back in with the gang? Ultimately, it turns out that the house was a performing arts school set up by Uncle JP to train new Muppet acts and that’s what we’ve been seeing all this time. Random Muppet rehearsals. Does Skeeter come back for good? That would be telling, but the answer in my head also explains Walter’s absence…
M?U?P?P?E?T?S
We’re heading back to New York for a show centered on Pete’s Luncheonette. The gang all hang out there as they deal with the trials and tribulations of city life. Kermit is a palaeontologist, Fozzie works in an office and worries about his WENUS, Gonzo is a jobbing actor/stuntman, Janice is a hippy chick, Miss Piggy is a waitress that longs to get into fashion and Yolanda is the chef at Pete’s. See? It’s so not “Friends” – Monica was never the chef at Central Perk. It’s a totally different show and in no way represents the fact that Hollywood is out of new ideas.
The Muppets. Period
There’s a period at the end of the title of the show so why not use it? Everyone loves a period drama (at least they do for the sake of this sentence) and the guys haven’t been afraid to tangle with the genre before. We recently had a show here in the U.K. called “Dickensian” that featured a combined universe for Charles Dickens characters. Something like that could work well if there’s another author out there with enough characters to do it. It’s a shame Dickens is taken as the guys could reprise their roles from “Muppet Christmas Carol” with people like Scooter and Rowlf becoming the likes of Nicholas Nickleby or David Copperfield. It would be fun to have Gonzo and Rizzo back in the capacity of narrators too. Either way, I’d love to see a Muppet period drama – whether based on existing characters or not. Perhaps, if the rumors of a historical attraction at Walt Disney World are true we could get an epic mini series based on U.S. history?
The Muppets: Mission to Moscow
I just liked the title. I guess it’s a spy thriller?
The Muppets: Music & Mayhem
The Muppets present a weekly show featuring musical performances from stars of today and yesteryear. It really just does what it says in the title. Kermit and Co. introduce musical acts who either perform straight or with a little Muppet madness thrown in for good measure. The Electric Mayhem are the house band and each show features at least one solely Muppet performance. There would be a few backstage goings on, but this really is a music show first and foremost. Who doesn’t want to see The Swedish Chef introduce The Red Hot Chilli Peppers or Gloria Estefan introduce Gloria Estefan?
The Muppets: Swamp Rat
Kermit has gone home for some rest and relaxation. Rizzo is the mysterious stranger sent to look for him. Steve Whitmire is the Muppet performer who passes out from exhaustion.
The Muppets: Again
Beaker and Bunsen invent a time machine and the gang jump about the ages eventually crossing their own timeline and ripping a hole in the space/time continuum. They have to put things right, but is there a mysterious force hampering their progress?
The Muppets: Again
Beaker and Bunsen invent a time machine and the gang jump about the ages eventually crossing their own timeline and ripping a hole in the space/time continuum. They have to put things right, but is there a mysterious force hampering their progress?
The Muppets: Again
The Muppets have to save the theater from an evil oil baron/business woman. Again.
The Muppets: Tonight
Kermit randomly decides to take a backseat and passes over hosting duties for a TV variety show (with surprisingly little variety) to a Muppet you kind of saw once or twice at the back of a crowd scene in Muppets at Walt Disney World. It’s optional, but he could look a little like a human catfish – he doesn’t have to, but it can’t hurt in the long run surely? The show would then pepper brief moments of brilliance with songs that are cut short and sketches that miss more often than they land. New and annoying characters could replace the ones you know and love leading to the popular internet memes “Where’s Piggy?”, “Where’s Fozzie?” and “Where’s Scooter?” while on Twitter every week we can see #Rowlf’sNotBack trending worldwide. In fact that’s such a good idea I could see them just going with a second season of that. It might be truncated and shown on a different channel, but that’s not really a problem, is it?
The Muppets: Tonight: Again
See above.
So there we have it – just a few ideas for what the Muppets can do next. I think we can all agree by having me here The Muppet Mindset’s gain is Hollywood’s loss. I’m 100% confident that any of these suggestions could be a ratings winner and if Netflix or Kermit the Frog or my dry cleaner is reading this, I’m always available for meetings. Rizzo’s uncle is my agent (and funnily enough my dry cleaner too, but that’s show business folks…)
