For generations, one question has been burning in the minds of heterosexual male Muppet fans – which female Muppet movie lead is the most attractive?
For years, there were only two contestants – Juliana Donald as sweet, adorable young Jenny in The Muppets Take Manhattan and Diana Rigg as high class hottie Lady Holiday in The Great Muppet Caper. The debate was civil in those days, as the two groups largely remained separate. The Jenny guys hung out at their personal Pete’s Luncheonette, while the Lady Holiday men strove to find a 17 Highbrow Street of their very own.
Since the fabled Muppet comeback of 1992, things have gotten more complicated as three new contestants have entered the ring – Meredith Braun as Scrooge’s (literally) scene-stealing lost love Belle in The Muppet Christmas Carol, Joan Cusack as delightfully evil vixen Rachel Bitterman in It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie, and Ashanti as Dorothy Gale, the Kansas girl with big dreams in The Muppets’ Wizard of Oz. The argument rages now more than ever, and only your input can help bring it to an end.
So, which human is the hottest? Has Lady Holiday won your love with expository dialogue? Would you let Jenny fill in your moustache? Perhaps Ms. Bitterman stole your heart and replaced it with Club Dot. Maybe you look forward to being an old man just so you can go back in time and sing a duet with Belle, or you wait outside for the tornado that will take you to Dorothy. Whoever you prefer, vote now so the debate can end peacefully. The owners of 17 Highbrow Street are getting a little tired of all the Lady Holiday fans hanging around.