Hipsters and Squares
Part 2: Too Cool for School
Roosevelt Franklin was a popular hipster character in the early days of Sesame Street — he even cut his own LP in 1971, The Year of Roosevelt Franklin. Roosevelt was so cool that he could even take over his elementary school classroom, and kick out important lessons, Roosevelt-style. His foil was the know-it-all square, Smart Tina…
Voice cast: Matt Robinson (Roosevelt Franklin), Sonia Manzano (Smart Tina), unknown (Hard Headed Henry and other students).
| (Roosevelt and his friends appear over a shot of the school, singing their theme.) | |
| Students
|
Hail to thee, our alma mamma —
Roosevelt Franklin Elementary School! |
| (Students sit in the classroom, restless.) | |
| Henry
|
We want Roosevelt! |
| Tina
|
I want to learn me somethin’. |
| Students
|
Oh, here he comes — here he comes! |
| (Roosevelt be-bops in and takes his place at the head of the class.) | |
| Roosevelt
|
Here I come, here I come! Here I am! Now. Who knows what Africa looks like? |
| Tina
|
I do, I do! |
| Students
|
Ohhhh… |
| Tina
|
I do too, I know everything. I know all about Africa. It’s a jungle, just one big jungle. I know because I saw it all on the Tarzan movie. |
| Roosevelt
|
BZZZT! Wrong! Wrong, Smart Tina. |
| Students
|
Wrong! Wrong! |
| Tina
|
Ohhhhhhh… |
| Roosevelt
|
You and Tarzan are both wrong. Look at this. (He points to the map.) Only this little teeny bit of Africa is a jungle. (A snare beat starts behind him, and the lesson becomes a scat.) All this… is a desert. |
| Students
|
Ooooh! |
| Roosevelt
|
All this… is a whole bunch of beaches. |
| Students
|
Ooh, that’s nice! |
| Roosevelt
|
And water. |
| Students
|
Water! |
| Roosevelt
|
And fishing places. |
| Students
|
Mmmmm! |
| Roosevelt
|
And these… |
| Henry
|
Huh? |
| Roosevelt
|
Are big cities. |
| Students
|
Cities! |
| Roosevelt
|
With buildings! |
| Students
|
Look at that tall one… |
| Roosevelt
|
And lakes. |
| Students
|
Lakes, too… |
| Roosevelt
|
And parks. |
| Students
|
Mmm hmm! |
| Roosevelt
|
And schools. |
| Students
|
Schools, yeah! |
| Roosevelt
|
And up here… is oil. |
| Students
|
OIL! |
| Roosevelt
|
And down here… is diamonds. |
| Students
|
DIAMONDS! |
| Roosevelt
|
And here… is gold! |
| Students
|
GOLD! |
| Roosevelt
|
And this whole place… is next to… the Biggest! Piece! of Land! in the whooole world! |
| Students
|
WOW! |
(The snare ends.) |
| Roosevelt
|
Now do you know what Africa looks like? |
| Tina
|
Yes. I guess I was wrong, for once. |
| Students
|
For once? |
| Henry
|
Well, I know what Africa looks like… and I know what Smart Tina looks like, too. |
| Students
|
Tell us, tell us! |
| Henry
|
She looks like an African queen. |
| Students
|
Awwww… |
| Tina
|
Oh, that’s nice! |
| Henry
|
With diamonds and gold all around her, and — dig it, dig it — she has a smile like the desert sun… |
| Students
|
Ohhhh…. |
| Henry
|
And eyes like the cool waters of the lakes… |
| Students
|
Oh, nobody talks to me like that! |
| Henry
|
And she’s tall, like the buildings in the great cities. |
| Students
|
Ohhh, that’s nice. |
| Henry
|
And, dig this, she’s got feet like an African elephant! |
| (The students all burst out laughing! Tina is furious.) | |
| Tina
|
Let me at him! |
| (The classroom erupts in chaos as Tina gets out of her seat to clobber Henry. They run around the room as other students throw paper.) | |
| Roosevelt
|
I think class is dismissed… I know it’s dismissed now, cause I’m not gonna stay around here to see what she says to him! I’m gonna dismiss myself… In fact, I think I’ll give myself a pass to get out of class… |
(Roosevelt zips out the door as Tina chases Henry around the room…) |
By Danny Horn
