Chapter 14
Life Goes On
in which The Mighty Favog tries to cut a deal
(May 8, 1976 — host Madeline Kahn)
The story so far: The Muppets are fired.
The Gorch set has been destroyed. The cast and the writers don’t like the Muppets. They’re going off to do The Muppet Show in England anyway. And the last time we saw the Gorch characters, in late April 1976, they were getting into the trunk to be packed away.
But leave it to the Muppets to have a couple tricks left up their sleeve…
| [ Chevy Chase is standing backstage, next to the prop trunk. He polishes his sunglasses. ] | |
| Chevy
|
I don’t think these look girlish. They look good to me. [ He puts the glasses back on. ] |
| [ The lid of the trunk cracks open, and Scred peeks out. ] | |
| Scred
|
Chevy? Chevy Chase, is that you? It’s me, Scred, remember? |
| Chevy
|
Scred! |
| Scred
|
Yeah! [ He pops up. ] |
| Chevy
|
Hey, Scred! Nice to see ya! |
| Scred
|
Yeah, remember, I used to have that dressing room over there, under the sink? |
| Chevy
|
Oh, yeah… hey, listen, y’know, we were all pretty sorry to hear you guys got cancelled, Scred, but, uh — y’know, that’s show business. I mean… |
| Scred
|
[ sigh ] Yeah… |
| Chevy
|
One day, you’re on top of the world, the next day, you’re, uh… inside a trunk. I guess that’s the way it is. |
| Scred
|
Yeah. Let me get outta here. [ He hops out of the trunk and leans over Chevy’s shoulder. ] Hey, hey, listen, Chevy — don’t you think you could talk to the producer, Lorne Michaels, and ask him to let us back on the show, huh? Dontcha think so? Huh? Huh? Dontcha think? |
| Chevy
|
Well, Scred, I don’t know… I mean, now the show’s a hit, and it’s a pretty big success, and I think it might’ve kinda gone to Lorne’s head, ya know? I mean, right now he’s not even here, I think he’s out having dinner with Lee Ratzwell or something, so… |
| Scred
|
No wonder he’s not interested in us anymore. |
| Chevy
|
Yeah. |
| Scred
|
Yeah, well. |
| Chevy
|
I think the man’s got a little too big to work with felt anymore, Scred. |
| Scred
|
Yeah. Phooey. |
| Chevy
|
I’m sorry. |
| Scred
|
Hey, Chevy, uh — ahem — listen, uh… I hear that Lorne’s trying to get the Beatles for the show, huh? |
| Chevy
|
Yeah. Yeah. He’s had lunch four times with Peter Best. Scred — could you use a mouthwash or something? |
| Scred
|
Sorry. Ahem. But, listen — I have a friend who happens to know the Beatles personally. |
| Chevy
|
Really? Who? |
| [ Cut to: The Mighty Favog, sitting on a crate. ] | |
| Favog
|
SHE LOVES YOU, YEAH YEAH YEAH… AWRIGHT. HERE’S THE DEAL. TELL MICHAELS HE TAKES BACK THE MUPPETS, I THROW IN THE BEATLES FOR NOTHIN’. |
| Chevy
|
Favog… you’re sure we’re talking about the same Beatles? |
| Favog
|
THE OOBLADI, OOBLADA, LIFE GOES ON, BRAAAA, BEATLES? THOSE THE ONES? |
| Chevy
|
Those are the ones. You know them, huh? |
| Favog
|
ARE YOU KIDDIN’? I AM THE WALRUS. |
| Scred
|
I thought you was the egg man. |
| Favog
|
SCRED? TELL ‘IM. |
| Scred
|
Oh, yeah. Hey, remember when the Beatles went to India? |
| Chevy
|
Yeah, to see the Maharishi, right? |
| Scred
|
Uh uh. |
| Chevy
|
Uh huh. |
| Favog
|
OMMMMMMMMM. |
| Scred
|
Mani Padme Hum, yeah, yeah. And tell him about the time you told Paul your favorite number… |
| Favog
|
SCRED, SCRED… I THINK WE MADE OUR POINT. |
| Chevy
|
Well, uh, listen, fellas, I’ll certainly tell Lorne about this. |
| Favog
|
HEY, HEY — TELL ‘IM, HE TAKES THE MUPPETS, THE BEATLES ARE GRAVY. GOT IT? |
| Chevy
|
Great. Okay. I’ll tell him right now. Scred, good to see you. [ He pats Scred on the head. ] |
| Favog
|
G’BYE. |
| Scred
|
Okay. |
| Chevy
|
Okay. So long. |
| Favog
|
OKAY. |
| Scred
|
Bye bye. |
| [ Chevy leaves. ] | |
| Scred
|
Oh, Mighty Favog — you’ve done it again! |
| Favog
|
AWRIIIIGHT! |
| Scred
|
Yeah, yeah! I feel like a new Muppet! |
| Favog
|
AND IN THE END… THE LOVE YOU TAKE IS EQUAL TO THE LOVE YOU MAKE. YEAHHHH. |
| Scred
|
Strawberry Fields Forever! |
Gorch Fact
Add Chevy Chase to the short list of people on Saturday Night Live who apparently liked the Muppets. This sketch was written by Chevy, and it’s nice that — unlike most of the other “Muppets are cancelled” sketches in this period — it actually ends on a hopeful, upbeat note. The “get in the trunk” sketch in the last episode was a pretty depressing suicide metaphor, but this one at least ends with the momentary illusion of success.
And would you believe it if I told you there was still one more Gorch sketch?
by Danny Horn
