Giant Frogs!, Part Three

Published: May 3, 2002

Part Three: Personality

Kermit	Okay. Next, it’s my great privilege to introduce a performer who I’ve known for a long, long time. In fact, we started together so long ago…
Piggy	That’s enough, Frog!
Kermit	Uh. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Piggy!
	[ Miss Piggy enters, strikes a pose, and sings a Pig version of “Personality”: ]
Piggy	Over and over, others have tried to shineOver and over, they try to look as fine! Over and over, they searched for the secret that’s mine… But over and over, they missed what makes Moi divine! Cause… I’ve… got…
	[ Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo and Bean enter to sing backup, carrying big feathery fans: ]
Guys	Personality!
Piggy	Walk — (Personality!) —Talk — (Personality!) — Smile — (Personality!) — Charm — (Personality!) — Love — (Personality!) — And of course I’ve got a great big smi-i-ile! So over — (Over and over!) — And over — (Over and over!) — Oh, I’ll be a star for you! — (Over and over!) — Now, over — (Over and over!) — And oh-oh-over — (Over and over!) — What more can I do? [ Piggy’s performance gets more and more over the top as she repeats the verse and chorus, finally ending up shaking her money-maker for the last chorus: ] So over — (Over and over!) — And oh-over — (Over and over!) — I’ll be a star for you! — (Over and over!) — Now, over — (Over and over!) — And over — (Over and over!) — And over and over and over, I’ll be a star for you! So what — more can I do-oo-oo?
Guys	What more can Piggy do?
	[ The Muppets all cover their ears as Piggy finishes with a long, piercing high note. ]
Piggy	Thank you! Thank you! Kissy kissy! Kissy kissy!
Kermit	Yeah. Thanks.
	[ Everyone exits but Kermit. Floyd and Animal enter. ]
Floyd	Yo, Kermit, my main frog!
Kermit	What is it, Floyd?
Floyd	We’re gonna need a couple more seconds to get this gig swingin’.
Kermit	What?
Floyd	Yeah, you see, Animal ate one of our amplifiers.
Animal	AM-PLI-FI-ER! AM-PLI-FI-ER!
Kermit	Well, what am I supposed to do?
Floyd	Improvise!
Animal	IM-PRO-VISE!
	[ Floyd and Animal exit, leaving Kermit alone on stage. ]
Kermit	Improvise? Hmm. Well, here’s a nice little song you may have heard.
	[ The lights go down, and a spinning globe is projected on the back of the set. Fozzie brings in a stool, and Kermit sits down to sing “Bein’ Green”: ]
Kermit	It’s not that easy bein’ green,Having to spend each day the color of the leaves, When I think it could be nicer, Being red or yellow or gold, Something much more colorful like that. But green’s the color of spring, And green can be cool and friendly-like… [ Fozzie, Gonzo and Bean enter and stand around him. ]
Fozzie	And green can be big, like an ocean!
Gonzo	And important, like a mountain!
Bean	And tall, like a tree…
Kermit	When green is all there is to be,It can make you wonder why — But, why wonder? Why wonder? I’m green, and it’ll do fine It’s beautiful! And I think it’s what I want to be. Aw. Thank you guys. I wonder if the band is ready now?