You know who I like? TIME’S UP! The answer is Fozzie Bear. That guy just cracks me up! He’s definitely one of my top 73 favorite bears. And if you asked me to name the top 73 things I like about Fozzie, one thing I would definitely include on the list would be his hat.

Isn’t it a neat hat? A lot of famous people throughout history have worn hats… Abraham Lincoln. Indiana Jones. Minnie Pearl. Paul Simon. The Cat in the Hat. All legendary hat-wearers. And Fozzie? He wears a hat too.

Fozzie’s style of hat is called a “pork pie hat.” Why is it called that? Well, it’s because in old-timey days people used to cook pork in the hats and then eat the pork out of the hats. I’m pretty sure I read that somewhere.

Buster Keaton, the legendary silent film comedian, also wore a pork pie hat.

His hat doesn’t really look like Fozzie’s, does it? I wonder why that is. Fozzie’s is kinda crumpled, like maybe he accidentally sat on it. That sounds like something Fozzie would do, doesn’t it? That silly guy!

Sometimes Fozzie takes his hat off.

His head is sort of bumpy. It’s the perfect shape to hang that hat on. Don’t you wish you had a bumpy head that would help you keep your hat on? I sure don’t!

Sometimes Fozzie wears different things on his head. In The Muppet Christmas Carol, he wore a wig.

He played a character named Fozziwig. It kind of makes you wonder: If had worn a hat like he usually does, would his character have been named FOZZIHAT?

In Muppet Treasure Island, he wore a hat AND a wig.

Multitasking!!!!!

Hey, what if he had another wig on top of that hat? And what if he had another hat on top of the wig on top of the hat on top of the wig? And what if he had another wig on top of the hat on top of the wig on top of the hat on top of the wig? And what if he had another hat on top of the wig on top of the hat on top of the wig on top of the hat on top of the wig? And what if he had another wig on top of the hat on top of the wig on top of the hat on top of the wig on top of the hat on top of the wig?

What if that?

On Muppet Babies, Baby Fozzie wore a cap with a propeller on it.

Did the propeller ever spin around? Did Baby Fozzie ever pretend that the propeller made him take off and fly away? I have no idea! Maybe I’ll try to find out sometime.

One time on The Muppets, Fozzie used his hat to hide a candy dish that he took from Jay Leno’s house because he wanted a souvenir.

After this episode aired, there was a spike in the sales of pork pie hats because a lot of viewers saw the episode and bought a pork pie hat so they could steal stuff from Jay Leno’s house. To this day, Jay Leno is still discovering missing items all over his house. And it’s all because of Fozzie’s hat! I’m pretty sure I read that somewhere.

One time on The Muppet Show Fozzie wore a top hat.

Hot take: It looks good, but not as good as his usual hat.

In The Muppets’ Wizard of Oz, Fozzie played the Cowardly Lion.

He didn’t wear his hat, but he had a mane. I guess the producers decided it wouldn’t be realistic for a lion to wear a hat on top of his mane. I did some research on this topic. I did a Google image search for “lion wearing hat.” I didn’t find any pictures of real lions wearing hats, but I did find an online ad for something called “Adult Lion Hood.”

If Fozzie ever plays a lion again in a movie, the Muppet Workshop people could just buy one of these and put it on him.

Remember when Danny Trejo did a Fozzie thing in Muppets Most Wanted?

Here’s some movie trivia for you: In this scene, Danny Trejo wore a hat that looks like Fozzie’s, only bigger. This is because the hat that the real Fozzie puppet wears would have been too small for Danny Trejo’s head.

When Fozzie starred in the “Patrol Bear” sketches on The Muppet Show, he wore a police officer’s uniform that included a hat.

Isn’t that interesting?

Well, that concludes my in-depth analysis of Fozzie’s hat. Keep an eye on this website for my next exhaustively researched work, in which I’ll pay tribute to Scooter’s glasses. In the meantime, please tell me what YOU think of Fozzie’s hat! I want to know!

Click here to say “Hats off to Fozzie!” on the Tough Pigs forum!

by Ryan Roe – Ryan@ToughPigs.com

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