We’ve heard a lot lately about Disney’s big plans for the Muppets in the near future, and it’s all very exciting, because it means there will soon be lots of new Muppet stuff for us to buy. I mean, we all love watching new Muppet TV specials and movies and crap like that, but what we really want is more merchandise to take up space in our houses.
I just have one very important request to present to whoever is in charge of these things: Please never use this image of the Swedish Chef again.
I have no idea how long this photo has been around… Since the early 2000s at least, and probably longer. But I’ve seen it on jigsaw puzzles, coasters, magnets, and various other merchandise for years, and it just showed up on the new 2009 Muppet calendar.
Did nobody at the photo session realize that this pose makes it look like the Chef is smoking a joint? It’s practically begging for a quick, effortless PhotoShop job! In fact, I’m going to do an image search right now and show you all the different places on the web where people have taken this shot and turned the Chef into a pothead.
. . .
Huh. Okay. Well, I can’t find any. For the first time ever, I’m actually disappointed that the people of the internet have refrained from corrupting one of my favorite family-friendly characters.
But my point still stands! It’s not like this is a trademark gesture for the Chef. Has he ever even done this? Usually he uses his hands for much broader movements, like throwing rolling pins, or throwing spoons, or throwing chickens. Basically, he throws stuff. And anyway, it’s not like there aren’t other, better shots available. What’s wrong with this one?
Isn’t that better? Why can’t that be the default Chef shot? So far all I’ve done is complain, but I want to help too. So here are my suggestions for Five Other Things for the Swedish Chef to Do with His Hands:
- Smack a lobster.
- Perform the old “detachable thumb” trick.
- Juggle.
- Toss a pizza.
- Some other thing.
I’ve made my point, and now it’s time to take action. I strongly recommend that all Muppet fans, Swedish or not, join me in aggressively rolling our eyes every time we see that picture from now on. I believe it will make a real difference. Thank you for your time.
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by Ryan Roe – Ryan@ToughPigs.com
