The most anticipated movie of the year (if you’re not into Spider-Mans or Super Marios or unnecessary Disney remakes) has got to be Barbie. Crazy as it seems, this weirdo film about a decades-old toy has everyone losing their absolute minds. The excitement for Barbie is so high, it even bolstered sales for the other big movie with the same release date, which is the opposite of what normally happens.
One of the many reasons folks are jazzed about the Barbie movie is because the film will be featuring all sorts of familiar Barbies and Kens from the extended universe. Doctors and astronauts, beach-goers and RV drivers – it seems like every Barbie through the years will be represented.
Now, I realize that the movie has just premiered in theaters, so it’s reasonably unlikely that director Greta Gerwig will be making any additions at this late stage. But that won’t stop us from making some irrational and poorly-timed demands.
And our demands are thus! There are more Barbies that almost certainly won’t appear in the Barbie movie! Muppet-related Barbies! If noted ToughPigs reader Greta Gerwig will take note, perhaps we can enact some much-needed change before the world gets to their local theater this weekend.
Bootsie and Brad
There are so many Barbies in the Barbie movie, as well as a bunch of Kens. But will there be a single Bootsie? Will we get the merest whiff of a Brad? For those not in the know, Bootsie and Brad were the Barbie-esque stars of their own recurring segment on The Jim Henson Hour, spoofing Barbie’s many careers, Ken’s solid helmet of hair, and their lack of natural movement. Honestly, this is pretty dang close to what the Barbie film seems to be doing. It would be amazing to see the movie pay homage to Jim Henson’s own homage.
Bessed Dressed Mandi
Barbie sure does have a big wardrobe. It’s amazing she can figure out what to wear each day! That’s pretty much the only characteristic of Bessed Dressed Mandi, the Barbie stand-in from the classic Muppet special The Christmas Toy. (Yes, that’s how her name is spelled.). We’d love to see Mandi pop up in the Barbie movie, although I have no idea how we’d recognize her, unless she never leaves her dreamhouse except to pop her head out of the window to let everyone know she’ll be on her way as soon as she can decide between the karate outfit or the army fatigues.
Silly Creature Dolls
We don’t know much about these Barbie dolls seen in an Uncle Traveling Matt postcard in an episode of Fraggle Rock, but it would be very much appreciated if we could meet a Barbie who is being terrorized by a giant Fraggle. Audiences will get it, Greta. Trust me.
Hey, remember The Muppets Kitchen with Cat Cora? We didn’t either! But I bet Greta Gerwig remembers (she does her homework), and she’d be remiss not to give a cameo in her movie to celebrity chef Cat Cora. Not just because the film is teeming with celebrity cameos from all walks of life, but because in an episode of The Muppets Kitchen, Pepe the King Prawn shows off his Cat Cora action figure, clearly made from a Barbie doll. It’s a reference!
The only official Barbie connection through the Muppets was back in 2006 when Tickle-Me-Elmo was celebrating its 10th anniversary. Among the nonsensical promotions were these two Barbie dolls, who came packed with their own T.M.X. Elmo replicas. While the promotional synergy is groan-worthy, we would be shocked (shocked, I say!) if Elmo doesn’t appear in Barbie World.
Okay, so there’s never been a Miss Piggy Barbie doll, and that’s legitimately insane. Rather than find a doll to justify putting her in the movie, why not go about it the other way around? Let’s get Miss Piggy a cameo in Barbie, thus ensuring that the good people at Mattel will release an official Miss Piggy Barbie. Greta Gerwig – only you can make this dream come true.
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by Joe Hennes – Joe@ToughPigs.com