Hey, you know what’s a great segment from Sesame Street? This one!
If for some reason you can’t view the video: This is the one where Kermit and a little girl named Joey sing the alphabet song, and Joey tries to insert “Cookie Monster” as a letter of the alphabet.
I don’t think it would be hyperbole to suggest that this is one of the most memorable moments from all of Sesame Street, and one of the most beloved. That official YouTube upload has 54 million views! That’s almost ten times as many views as the official upload for the music video for Shaquille O’Neal’s song “(I Know I Got) Skillz.” Wow!
Every once in a while, I see this segment circulating on social media, and folks in the comments always adore it, whether they’re seeing it for the first time or they remember it fondly from childhood. Their effusive raves include things like:
“Cute!”
“Love this!”
“Excuse me but I noticed your profile and I was wondering if we could be friends.”
Kermit’s banter with this kid is so fun to watch, and Jim Henson’s ability to keep things going when Joey goes off-script is impressive. As for Joey, she might just be a comic genius. Every time I watch the segment, I marvel at her timing. She throws Kermit off early on by throwing in “Cookie Monster” right after G, but then she plays it straight for a while, biding her time and lulling Kermit into a false sense of security before springing her hilarious comedy trap again after R.
And how funny is it that the Sesame Street people made a Cookie Monster-shaped letter to flash on the screen along with the real letters? It’s perfect, really. In fact, Cookie Monster looks great as a letter.
Which is what got me to thinking: We should make Cookie Monster a new letter of the alphabet.
Our alphabet is ready for a change! The modern English alphabet was finalized, more or less, in the 16th century, which means we’ve had the same old letters for around 400 years now. Isn’t it about time we shake things up by introducing something new to our ABCs? And what better letter than Cookie Monster? Ha, I said “better letter.” That rhymed.
It would also be a great tribute to Sesame Street, which has brought so many people so much joy for 55 years now, and to Kermit the Frog, Cookie Monster, and Joey. Just think how much more fun the world would be. Booking a flight and reserving seat 15E? BORING. Booking a flight and reserving seat 15[Cookie Monster]? Fun!
Parents giving their children names incorporating letters like J, Y, and N? DULLSVILLE. Parents giving their children names incorporating the letter [Cookie Monster], like Morti[Cookie Monster]er or Bea[Cookie Monster]rice? Delightful!
Going to the eye doctor and reading an eye chart that starts with E F P T O Z L P E D? Get outta here! Going to the eye doctor and reading an eye chart that starts with E F P T O [Cookie Monster] [Cookie Monster] [Cookie Monster] [Cookie Monster] [Cookie Monster] [Cookie Monster]? Now you’re talkin’!
Now the question is: Who do I talk to about getting this done? I started by Googling this question: “Who’s in charge of the alphabet?” The answer that popped up is Sundar Pichai. He’s the CEO of Alphabet, Inc., the parent company of Google, so he probably doesn’t have much control over the actual alphabet. And yet… I bet he knows a lot of people in high places, so maybe he could point me in the right direction. I sent him an e-mail. I’ll let you know if he writes back.
In the meantime, it occurred to me where lots of us encounter and think hard about letters of the alphabet. In the game of Scrabble! Scrabble even publishes its own dictionary, which serves as the final word for what is or isn’t… well, a word. They’re absolutely an authority on the legitimate use of letters. So if Scrabble introduced a [Cookie Monster] tile, the rest of the world would certainly follow their lead!
Scrabble is owned by the Hasbro company, so I sent them a message through their Facebook page asking if they would ever consider adding any new letters to the game, such as [Cookie Monster]. They wrote me back, which is MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR SUNDAR PICHAI.
Here’s what they said:
“Hi Ryan, thanks for reaching out! While there are no plans to incorporate this into the game, we will share your interest with our internal team. Have fun day!”
That’s right. They said, “Have fun day.” At least that tells me the message was probably written by a human rather than a chatbot!
But there’s no guarantee that the internal team at Scrabble will actually make any effort to add the letter [Cookie Monster] to the alphabet. Obviously I’m going to have to take further action. That’s why, starting tomorrow, I’m going to travel around the world, sneaking into every home and office, and gluing a [Cookie Monster] key to everyone’s keyboards. When they see [Cookie Monster] sitting there next to all their old favorite letters, I’m confident that they’ll accept it.
It’ll be a huge undertaking, but it’ll be worth it to see that furry blue legend — and Joey and Kermit — get the recognition they deserve. I’ll let you know how it goes. Wish me lu[Cookie Monster]k!
Click here to tell me how many points the [Cookie Monster] Scrabble tile should be worth on the Tough Pigs Discord!
by Ryan Roe – Ryan@ToughPigs.com
