Breaking News
Part 18: The Cinderella Trilogy
Episode III. A Shoe Hope
Cast: Jim Henson (Kermit),Frank Oz (Prince Charming), Jerry Nelson (Cinderella, Announcer), Richard Hunt (Cow), unknown? (Wicked Stepsisters, Lackey).
| Announcer
|
We take you now to Kermit the Frog with another fast breaking news story! |
| Kermit
|
[ Kermit talks to Cinderella and the Stepsisters. ] Now, listen, when we get the cue, don’t wave at the camera, and try not to act stupid, okay? |
| Stepsisters
|
Yeah. Okay. |
| [ Kermit realizes the camera is on him. The girls instantly start waving at the camera and acting stupid. ] | |
| Kermit
|
Oh. Hi ho, this is Kermit the Frog of Sesame Street News, with another up to the minute update of the exciting Cinderella glass slipper story! Now, as you recall, Prince Charming gave a big party the other night, in which he fell in love with someone who left at midnight, leaving behind a beautiful glass slipper! And ever since then, the Prince has been combing the countryside, looking for the girl whose foot fits that slipper. |
| Kermit
|
And — excuse me, right now, here comes Prince Charming right now, excuse me, Prince Charming, Kermit the Frog of Sesame Street News, can I ask you a few questions, sir! |
| Prince
|
Why, yahs, you can, Dad always tells me to be nice to the media. |
| Kermit
|
Mm hm. Mm hm. Uh, pardon me, who’s that behind you, sir? |
| Prince
|
Oh, that’s my, uh — ahem — lackey. [ to the Lackey: ] Sit! [ The Lackey sits. The Prince turns back to Kermit: ] Shoot. |
| [ The Prince strikes a dramatic pose, looking off into the distance. ] | |
| Kermit
|
Uh huh. Yeah. Well, I understand you’ve been combing the countryside, and so far, you have… |
| [ Distracted, Kermit tries to see what the Prince is looking at. ] | |
| Kermit
|
… uh, so far, you have not found the girl whose foot fits that slipper, is that right, sir. |
| Prince
|
That is true, frog. I have not yet found my… True Love. |
| Stepsisters
|
Over here! Heh heh. |
| [ Again, Kermit is distracted by the Prince’s pose. ] | |
| Kermit
|
Yeah. Well, okay, well, right now you’re down to the very last cottage in the kingdom… |
| Prince
|
Yahs… |
| Kermit
|
And that is the one that belongs to Cinderella and her two wicked stepsisters! |
| Prince
|
Yahs, where is that cottage, can you tell me? |
| Kermit
|
Uh, it’s right behind you, sir. |
| Prince
|
Hm? |
| Stepsisters
|
Yoo hoo! Hello! |
| Prince
|
Aha. Ladies, ladies! Please step over there by the bench with your feet out. Yahs, thank you, skedaddle along, skedaddle… [ to the Lackey: ] Heel. |
| [ The Stepsisters and Cinderella line up. ] | |
| Prince
|
All right, ladies, all right, now who shall be first? Lackey, take the first wicked stepsister please. |
| Stepsis #1
|
Oh! Here I am! |
| Prince
|
Try it on her foot. Ohhh… I’m sorry, wicked stepsister number one, but that slipper is much too big for you. |
| Stepsis #1
|
Awwwww. |
| Cinderella
|
Heh heh. Heh heh. |
| Stepsis #1
|
Try the other wicked stepsister. Her foot’s bigger than mine! |
| Prince
|
Right, right. Raise your foot. Now, let’s see here. Ohhh… wicked stepsister number two, your foot is bigger than hers, but it is still not big enough for the glass slipper. |
| Prince
|
All right, Cinderella, your turn? |
| Cinderella
|
Me? |
| Prince
|
Yahs, you, dear. |
| Cinderella
|
Ohhh, let it be me, let it be me… |
| Prince
|
Mmmmm… Ohhh, no, your foot isn’t big enough either. |
| Cinderella
|
Oh. |
| Prince
|
Well, that’s funny. Hm. Now, your foot was big, your foot was bigger, and your foot was the biggest of all… However, no one… fit the slipper… |
| [ The Prince starts to cry. ] | |
| Cinderella
|
Awwww… wait, you want the biggest foot of all? |
| Prince
|
I want my True Love! |
| Cinderella
|
Well, somebody else in our cottage has the biggest feet of all! |
| Prince
|
Oh? |
[ Cinderella whistles. ] |
| Kermit
|
Holy cow. |
| Prince
|
… Could this be my True Love? |
| [ A cow enters. ] | |
| Cow
|
Yes? |
| Prince
|
Oh! Put your foot up, please. Lackey — quickly! Ah! It FITS! |
| Cow
|
It does? |
| Prince
|
My True Love! |
| [ Everyone gasps as the Prince embraces the Cow. ] | |
| Kermit
|
… These fairy tales are beginning to get me down. Uh, this is Kermit the Frog, returning you to your regularly scheduled shoe. Uh, show. |
| Prince
|
Hmm. Funny. You looked different that night at the palace. |
by Danny Horn
