Y’all. We’re living in strange times. With every hour that goes by, more and more schools and businesses are closing. Almost everyone has (or should) quarantined themselves off from the world. It’s like a zombie apocalypse, but really, really boring.
Normally in times of crisis, I turn to the Muppets to help me figure out what to do. And unsurprisingly, when you shout into the Muppet void, the void shouts back.
Now here’s a whole bunch of tips for how to survive the coming weeks, thanks to Kermit the Frog and Company!
Wash Your Hands
This might possibly be the most important thing we can do. Keeping our hands clean will help keep us healthy and from spreading the virus. Sesame Street has been preaching that particular lesson since its very first episode (see: “Everybody Wash“), and they’ve continued through Muppet segments, cartoons, and even Mr. Noodle. If your hands aren’t sparkly clean by now, you probably haven’t been paying attention.
Stay Home
Take a note from the Muppets in the video above – just stay inside. You’ve got plenty to keep you busy! The outside world isn’t all that interesting! Just make a whole movie about what happens inside your house and forget the whole “Gonzo is an alien” plot!
Go Outside
Okay, I know I just told you to stay inside, but you’re going to go crazy if you’re just sitting in one room for weeks on end. It’s perfectly okay – nay, encouraged – to go outside once in a while. You can still limit your social interaction, but the fresh air and exercise will do you good. But I don’t think the World Heath Organization recommends sharing a tandem bike with three other rats.
Wear a Mask
Okay, but if you really gotta go outside and you think you might be sick, wear a face mask. Y’know, just like Nurse Piggy in that photo just above. It’s a Muppet reference!
Help Older Folks
Coronavirus is more of a health threat the older you are. So if you’ve got an older relative, friend, or neighbor, it’d be a real nice thing if you helped them out with things like walking their dog or doing some grocery shopping for them. Honestly, if you could just keep them from going to their usual box seats at the theater, I’m sure the bear comedians of the world would greatly appreciate it.
Thank the “Essential Workers”
Not everyone can lock themselves away for a few weeks – we still need doctors, police officers, ambulance drivers, grocery store clerks, and more to help keep our world turning. So if you encounter one in the wild, be sure to thank them for putting themselves in danger for the rest of us. But maybe not the door-to-door salesmonsters – they’re annoying enough without the extended threat of disease.
Don’t Get Cabin Fever
Look, we’re going to do everything we can to make sure we get out of this thing healthy and alive. But it won’t do us any good if we come out utterly insane on the other side. Be sure to take care of yourself by taking the aforementioned trips outside. Binge a Muppet series (like Fraggle Rock!). Bake something new (like the Swedish Chef!). Read over 3,000 articles on your favorite Muppet fan site (like ToughPigs dot com!) Whatever you do, keep your spirits up amidst this chaotic and stressful time as if you were a frog desperately trying to keep a failing variety show alive. Because that’s when the magic happens.
By the way, we’re fighting the cabin fever too. That’s why we’re hosting a live stream conversation about all things Muppets with our pals at the Muppet Mindset. Be sure to follow us on Facebook and Twitter for the link, coming at you this Monday, March 16th at 8pm EST. Bring your questions, and enjoy some Muppet fun from the comfort of your own quarantine!
Keep your spirits up, gang. Stay healthy, stay strong, and let the Muppets help you get past this COVID crisis.
Click here to wash your hands before visiting the ToughPigs forum!
by Joe Hennes – Joe@ToughPigs.com
