For decades, the Hollywood Walk of Fame has honored canine contributors to American entertainment. And soon, the club of Lassie, Rin Tin Tin, Strongheart and Snoopy will welcome a new dog on the Walk: Muppet Babies star Baby Rowlf.
While Baby Rowlf is far from the first pooch to receive the honor, he is the first to do so as a mere puppy (though admittedly, he’s been a puppy since 1984). Walk of Fame spokesperson Flora Islop said at a press conference, “Baby Rowlf’s contribution to entertainment cannot be overlooked. His prodigious piano playing and his trademark sense of humor made him the breakout star of Muppet Babies and led him to be a creative force to be reckoned with, and we are grateful to have the opportunity to show him our appreciation with this star.” When asked why Baby Rowlf was specifically getting the star as opposed to all the Muppet Babies, Islop said, “Well, it’s not like he was invited to be in the remake. They clearly needed some sort of purple penguin and not a beloved member of the original ensemble. So if the Muppet Babies no longer have room for Baby Rowlf, then the Walk of Fame has no room for the Muppet Babies.” When pressed further as to why Baby Scooter or Baby Skeeter, also not in the current remake, were overlooked by the Walk of Fame, we were asked to leave. But we managed to steal extra packages of Cheez-Its from the snack table, so we’d call it a win.
When asked for comment, Baby Rowlf said, “this is better than the time everyone in the nursery let me ride the rocking horse first. I can’t wait to have my name there with the likes of Kate Winslet and Janet Leigh.” Following this, he took an early nap, claiming to be “dog-tired.” And Baby Rowlf better rest up, as he takes his place amongst Hollywood’s elite.
(We should also add that Islop stressed that the honor is strictly for Baby Rowlf, and not for Rowlf, the adult Muppet, saying, “we have no interest in honoring some has-been hound that found some semblance of fame with a sausage maker and managed to hang around in various television shows and movies to be beloved by generations, the talentless hack. No, Baby Rowlf is the one true star.”)
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by Matthew Soberman
