You may have noticed that there’s something a little different about ToughPigs today. That’s because we’ve got baby fever!
Yes, we’re currently obsessed with the new Muppet Babies. And we’re not the only ones – Disney, Henson, and Sesame all seem to be as well.
Before we get into all that, why don’t we introduce you to our team!? Below are the newly updated bios of the Tough Pigs writing staff, along with what all they have going on in their day-to-days.
Bert? Ernie? Joe? Yep… It’s Joe.
Baby Joe Hennes is in mid-peak as a three-year-old. He is incredibly proud to be among the coolest of his preschool class, and is blissfully unaware that his entire life will be downhill from here. He enjoys only the best children’s programming, popular franchise films, and telling the other kids to eat his shorts. Sadly, it will only be a few more years before he is ridiculed for all of these things.
Baby Ryan Roe just loves banging on his toy computer, working on articles for the Tough Pigs Babies website, like his review of ijecikjla842hgf, and his commentary on why it’s so important that Muppet fans remember to reghiaoigea;
Baby Matthew Soberman has been described as “a voice for the voiceless,” “a dedicated servant to the truth,” and “a tubby widdle num nums.” His advanced sense of object permanence led to his recent exposé, “Got Your Nose: A Gaslighting Scheme,” where he revealed that in spite of claims by adults, his nose had remained on his face the whole time. His next investigative report will take him behind the madness that is Peek-A-Boo. He likes bananas.
Baby Matt Wilkie enjoys PB&J (without the crusts), bath time (without the shampoo in his eyes), and Sesame Street (with Big Bird). He submits all of his articles in crayon.
Baby Louie Pearlman is a baby hanging out with his parents in Calgary, Canada. He loves chewing on his rubber pineapple, Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers Neighboorhood, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (which his mom watched while he was sitting on her lap and she didn’t think he’d get it because he’s a baby, but guess what, he TOTALLY DID). He has two pets, a Pomeranian named Terror and a big black-ish cat named Tuffy, but he can’t differentiate them yet, developmentally speaking.
Baby Evan G. likes art and the color purple. You’ll never see him without his sketchbook and his watercolor pencils, because you probably won’t see much of him anyway. His kooky catchphrase, “That’s so cool-drawmazing” wasn’t focus-tested enough.
Baby Anthony Strand loves Muppets. He eats them up. He is currently cutting his teeth on Rowlf’s nose and discography.
Baby Julia Gaskill spends most of her days pondering the existence of the universe, weighing the morals of humanity, and pooping when her parents least expect it. Sesame Street is her most watched show (seeing as her mother puts her in a high chair by the TV when it plays, which has proven inescapable). Next, she’s got her sights set on learning how to walk – she’s heard it’s all the rage.
Sorry, Baby Skeeter is not in this version either.
Click here to learn the hidden secrets of Peek-A-Boo on the Tough Pigs forum!
by Joe Hennes and Julia Gaskill
