Notable puppeteer, and all around nice guy, David Rudman has been spotted, as of late, sitting inside of his house and staring at his phone. Staring intensely, several sources have noted. “He’s just, like, not moving. At all,” one source stated on record. “I don’t think he was even blinking. It was kind of freaky.”
Some sources claim to have only seen Rudman while briefly passing his home. Others have admitted to stopping and openly staring at the phone-enthralled man through his living room window. Some say that he sat unmoving for up to three to five minutes – one claims for at least ten minutes straight.
Though no one can confirm or deny the reasoning behind Rudman’s obscure behavior, we can only assume he’s waiting on some exciting Muppet news… or at least some big Muppet news. Err, medium-sized news? Mediocre news? Small news? Boring news? Just any news, really?
Though bizarre, Rudman’s actions are not the first to draw attention from concerned fans. Recently, Matt Vogel was sighted on a park bench staring determinedly at his iPhone for a good four hours. Julianne Buescher was spotted in a coffee shop refreshing her email literally every five seconds. Eric Jacobson posted in the Craigslist job section that he was available for anyone in need of a great Frank Oz impersonator. Peter Linz was caught whispering questions to a magic eight ball, shaking it, reading the answer, and then throwing the toy across the room in frustration. Bill Barretta has been seen breaking down crying at least four times now.
We finally were able to get in touch with Rudman after dozens of attempts after an anonymous source passed along his home phone number. When we called, the phone was instantly picked up and we were met with a, “Hello?! Disney?? Yes! I’m available!!! When do we start??” When we told him we were calling to ask about his newfound phone-staring hobby, he responded, “Can’t talk! Busy! Gonna get a phone call at any moment! Disney could be calling right now!” and abruptly hung up on us.
When asked for a comment, Disney stated, “What’s a muppet?”
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by Julia Gaskill – Julia@ToughPigs.com
