Do you remember this guy? Or have you successfully wiped all traces of his existence from your memory? Allow me to help you, and/or traumatize you: That’s a doll of Toccata, the big bird character from 1 Rue Sesame, the French version of Sesame Street. Back in 2010, he earned the dubious distinction of winning the Ugly Muppet Toy Pageant right here on this website, and since that was the last Ugly Muppet Toy Pageant we did, that means he’s been the reigning champion all this time. And yet, for some strange reason, he can’t seem to get a table at a restaurant.
You may be wondering why there hasn’t been an Ugly Muppet Toy Pageant since 2010. Well, I’ll tell you. When I asked for submissions that year, I got a lot of duplicates from previous years’ pageants, and a lot of toys that really weren’t that ugly. I began to suspect that we had run out of ugly Muppet toys. That we had seen and recoiled from and mocked them all.
But that was a while ago. A lot more merchandise has come out since then, and a lot of shudder-worthy old toys have been discovered by folks over at the Muppet Wiki. So it’s time for another pageant! It’s time to crown a new Really, Really, Really Ugly Toy… and I need your help!
Send me photos of ugly Muppet toys! You can send your entries to Ryan@ToughPigs.com, and you can send as many entries as you got. They can be old toys, they can be new toys. They can be from Sesame Street, The Muppet Show, Fraggle Rock, whatever. Just keep in mind this rule: Toys that are ugly because they’ve been beaten, abused, or manhandled don’t count. Only toys that were ugly straight outta the toy store. I’ve also decided to crack down on the rule of disqualifying homemade toys this year. So that thing you find on Etsy may not qualify. But send it anyway, just in case!
The deadline is April 5th. Shortly after that, I’ll post all the qualifying entries, and you’ll judge their ugliness and send in your votes and your color commentary. And then we’ll name the new winner, and then we’ll all shudder with disgust.
Don’t delay! Send your ugly toys to Ryan@ToughPigs.com today!
Click here to prepare yourself for ugliness on the Tough Pigs forum!
by Ryan Roe – Ryan@ToughPigs.com