Troubled Waiter, Part Two

Published: September 30, 2004
Categories: Uncategorized

Troubled Waiter
Part 2: Food ShortageScreen shot 2011-08-08 at 11.49.19 AM

Fat Blue


A cup of coffee, a sandwich, and you-hoo… Oh, waiter!
(Grover runs by.)
Grover


Just a moment, sir!
Fat Blue


Oh.
(Grover runs by again.)
Fat Blue


Uh, waiter!
Grover


Just a second!
Fat Blue


Awww… every time I come here!
(Grover approaches the table.)Screen shot 2011-08-08 at 11.49.24 AM
Fat Blue


WAITER!!!
Grover


Wwwaaaggghhhhgg!
(Grover falls down.)
Fat Blue


Oh. Sorry.
Grover


Please — do not — do that. Phew!
Fat Blue


I’m ready to order now.
Grover


Oh! Ahem. Very good, sir. I am your waiter, Grover.
Fat Blue


Yeah.
Grover


I lost my nametag.Screen shot 2011-08-08 at 11.49.28 AM
Grover


Uh, have you perused our menu?
Fat Blue


Yes, I have.
Grover


Very good. Before you order, it is my duty — as a waiter and a gentlemonster — to tell you that we do not have ALL of the things on the menu. We have been very, very busy, and we only have SOME of the things on the menu left.
Fat Blue


Oh.
Grover


SOME of the things.
Fat Blue


Not ALL of the things.
Grover


Not all. SOME.
Fat Blue


SOME.
Grover


Mmm hmm.
Fat Blue


Oh, well. Thanks for telling me.
Grover


Yes, sir.Screen shot 2011-08-08 at 11.49.36 AM
Fat Blue


Let’s see… Do you have the turkey?
Grover


Uh, the turkey. Uh, no, I am sorry, sir, we are all out of the turkey.
Fat Blue


Uh, well… spinach salad looks good, how about that?
Grover


Does look good, but we do not have that.
Fat Blue


Oh. Uh, tunafish?
Grover


Mmmm… nope!
Fat Blue


Artichokes, swiss cheese, fruit cup, country ribs?Screen shot 2011-08-08 at 11.49.45 AM
Grover


No… no… uhhhh, no… and… no.
Fat Blue


Ohhh. I thought you said you had SOME of the things on the menu!
Grover


Well, we do! We do, we do!
Fat Blue


Like what?
Grover


We have milk.
Fat Blue


MILK?
Grover


Yes!
Fat Blue


That’s all, just milk?
Grover


Yes! Well… that’s not ALL, milk is good! Yes! We have milk, yes!Screen shot 2011-08-08 at 11.49.52 AM
Fat Blue


But, that’s — that’s not SOME things, that’s just ONE thing! SOME things would be milk, and cookies, and melba toast, or something! But you only have ONE thing! Not SOME!
Grover


So? We only have ONE thing! ONE thing! Better one than none! Right, sir?
Fat Blue


Well… yes, I guess so, uh…
Grover


Yes. Now, sir.
Fat Blue


Okay, yeah. Bring me a glass of milk.
Grover


I’m sorry, I cannot do that, sir.Screen shot 2011-08-08 at 11.50.04 AM
Fat Blue


Well, why not? You said you had milk!
Grover


Oh, we do, we do have milk, sir.
Fat Blue


Well?
Grover


But we are all out of glasses.
Fat Blue


Ohhhhh…
Grover


I tell you, sir, I can offer you a saucer of milk. How about a bucket of milk.
(Fat Blue gets up.)
Fat Blue


That’s disgusting.
(Fat Blue walks away. Grover calls after him.)
Grover


Uh, sir? Sir, how about a tub of milk? Sir?Screen shot 2011-08-08 at 11.50.12 AM

by Danny Horn

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