Today I’m watching the Connie Stevens episode, the second Muppet Show episode taped — and I have to assume that, at this point in the production, the Sesame Question is looming pretty large over Henson and the producers. They’ve got a funny show, with a flexible format that allows for a lot of invention. They’ve got good characters, and a lot of talent. But there’s this big question hanging over the whole enterprise, which is: Are people really going to watch a weekly prime-time puppet show? Are all the adults going to think it’s Sesame Street and just change the channel?
After all, the Sesame Question was the problem that kept all of the American networks from buying the show. As Henson was working on these first episodes, he must have been thinking a lot about how to strike the right tone with the show. He can’t afford to alienate the kid audience; he may need to count on the kids turning on the sets. But the show needs to be sophisticated enough to attract the adult prime-time audience.
And so, therefore, they kick off the second episode with a naked, gyrating, tattooed pig.
The opening number is “Lydia the Tattooed Lady,” sung by Kermit as a scantily-clad lady pig shakes her money-maker for all the world to see. When Kermit finishes the song, he exits stage right with Lydia — to find Miss Piggy standing in the wings, glowering at them. “Piggy!” Kermit gulps. “Have you met Lydia?” Piggy is not amused. “No,” she says, “have you met my left fist?” Hm? BAM! Piggy socks Kermit in the face, then gives a satisfied nod and spits on her fist.
Well, you won’t see that on PBS! Sex and violence, and we’re only three minutes in.
That being said, the storyline for the episode does have a foot in Sesame territory. You see, Gonzo has this ratty old teddy bear, and Hilda is telling him to throw it away: “That bear is the worst thing I’ve ever seen in this theater! Why not get rid of him?” Fozzie overhears — and, of course, he thinks that they’re talking about him. He’s crushed — and it’s even worse when he hears Kermit and Scooter making fun of the bear too. The story is pretty much kid-tested mother-approved stuff; you could imagine the exact same misunderstanding with Elmo and Baby Bear, without skipping a beat. And besides — Gonzo has a teddy bear? Gonzo is an artist, performing in a show, but he refuses to part with his raggedy teddy bear. A year later on the show, and it would be unthinkable to portray Gonzo in that kind of child-like way… but right now, it’s like the producers can’t quite decide whether the Muppet characters are supposed to be adults or children.
And then, for the closing number, Kermit introduces two friends from Sesame Street… Ernie and Bert.
It’s an interesting moment in the show’s history. As I wrote in the last entry, the producers made these two episodes to try out the new format. This is the last scene of the second episode — basically batting clean-up for the two test episodes. You would think that they would use this spot in the show to showcase the new characters, maybe do a big number for Fozzie. Instead, they’re bringing on two of the stars from Sesame Street, the very thing that Henson is trying to make the audience forget about.
Bert, for one, is feeling uncomfortable about the whole thing. He’s worried about being on stage, especially when Ernie pulls Bert’s nose off. “Yeah, see what I mean?” Bert says. “That old loose nose joke is funny on Sesame Street, but this is Big Time, Ernie. They’re expecting an act or something.” But Ernie has a plan — he pulls Bert off camera and gives him a quick change. Then Ernie does a big introduction: “Here he is now — that suave, sophisticated showman — my ol’ buddy, Bert.” Bert walks out on stage, dressed in a tuxedo, with a top hat and a cane. Ernie grins: “Well, Bert? What do you say?”
Bert takes a deep breath, and he starts to sing. “Some enCHANted EVE-ninnnnnng… you may see a stranger…” Sets fly in, and Connie Stevens appears at the top of a flight of stairs. “You may see a stranger, across a crowded room…” She flies down the stairs, and into his arms. Bert croons, and they fly into a romantic dance routine.
At the end of the number, Connie dashes away, and Bert is left alone. The moment fades, and he realizes what he’s done. He calls weakly to Ernie: “Did I just make a complete fool of myself?” Ernie pats his buddy on the shoulder. “Absolutely, Bert!” Bert groans and shakes his head, asking Ernie to take him home.
And there you have it. The Muppet Show stakes out its territory. This ain’t Sesame Street. This is Big Time.
by Danny Horn
