You’ve read all our reviews of season three of The Muppet Show, right? It’s been a formidable undertaking, but we managed to get through the entire season, posting a review of each episode 40 years after it aired. Again!
In addition to several paragraphs devoted to sharp-eyed critical analysis (or talk about how bad Sylvester Stallone is at comedy), each review contains a section singling out various elements of that episode: What was the best joke? What was the musical highlight? And so on.
Now that we’ve concluded the season, I thought it would be fun to compile a bunch of those in one place to create an overview of the season. Starting with…
MOST VALUABLE MUPPETS
This title goes to the Muppet who makes the greatest contribution to each episode. Last season, it was a tie between Gonzo and Fozzie. This season, our “MVM” picks were all over the place, but one Muppet edged out the others: Miss Piggy, who was named as Most Valuable four times, for the Danny Kaye, Kris Kristofferson/Rita Coolidge, Cheryl Ladd, and Gilda Radner episodes.
Fozzie had a pretty good showing, earning the MVM title three times, for the Harry Belafonte, Roy Clark, and Raquel Welch episodes. Kermit the Frog (Loretta Lynn and Roger Miller), Link Hogthrob (Roy Rogers/Dale Evans and Lesley Ann Warren), and Annie Sue Pig (Leo Sayer and Jean Stapleton) were each valuable twice.
Other MVM picks included:
Beauregard (Helen Reddy)
The flounder monster (James Coco)
Fletcher Bird (Liberace)
Gonzo (Alice Cooper)
Floyd (Pearl Bailey)
Lew Zealand (Marisa Berenson)
The Swedish Chef (Spike Milligan)
Beaker (Elke Sommer)
The punching bag (Sylvester Stallone)
The Newsman (Lynn Redgrave)
Big Bird (Leslie Uggams)
BEST JOKES
During a song by a group of firemen, Fozzie runs across the stage to save a chicken from an unseen fire-related crisis. As he carries it to safety, he says “Are you proud of yourselves? You made this chicken a nervous wreck.”
(Roy Clark)
Before Fozzie and Jean Stapleton sing “Play a Simple Melody,” the band accidentally starts playing “Elaborate Pretentions for Orchestra.”
Backstage, Sam threatens to quit the show. Floyd says “On your way out, would you empty the garbage?”
(James Coco)
In his segment, the Swedish Chef somehow has a coffee percolator growing out of his head, and then, in a crossover sketch, Veterinarian’s Hospital comes in to try to get it off.
(Liberace)
While hurriedly planning a desert-themed closing number (due to all the sand Beauregard dumped on stage), Kermit calls for a camel, tents, and palm trees. Fozzie rushes in saying “You’re lucky, I just happened to have a palm tree here” in a perfectly-delivered ad-lib.
(Helen Reddy)
While performing the opening theme song at a train station, Rowlf says, “Hey, do you know who’s conducting? The conductor!”
(Loretta Lynn)
Gonzo, desperate to sign a Faustian contract with the devil, searches for a pen: “I’d sell my soul for a pen! No, I have other plans for that.” Later, Alice Cooper reports to headquarters after Miss Piggy opts out of the deal: “Yeah, hello, boss? No, no, I didn’t make a sale. Uh, listen, do I get any commission on hourly rentals?”
Kermit, on being told to be gentle in his criticism of Fozzie: “How can you gently run over someone with a truck?”
(Cheryl Ladd)
While singing “An Actor’s Life for Me,” Fozzie runs offstage to grab a fish. When Rowlf asks him why he’s carrying a fish, Fozzie says “Oh, just for the halibut.”
(Pearl Bailey)
Animal eats a “TV dinner,” which turns out to be a TV he’s having for dinner. The visual really helps sell it, and Animal’s enthusiasm is hilarious when paired with that smoking, broken TV.
(Kris Kristofferson/Rita Coolidge)
Fozzie gets aggressive and growls in Kermit’s face. Then, out of nowhere, he picks up the phone and growls. The phone doesn’t ring, he doesn’t dial a number; he just wants to show off his aggressiveness.
(Raquel Welch)
Leo Sayer’s facial expressions in his musical numbers are pretty amusing.
At the beginning of the sketch “The Intergalactic Brotherhood of Man, Including Things,” Spike Milligan says: “Now, a good evening.” He then pulls down the curtain behind, revealing a pleasant night scene. He then says: “Now, an appalling evening!” He pulls the curtain again, revealing terrible weather. Later, Lew Zealand enters the scene and wishes Milligan “a very good evening.” Milligan pulls down the curtain to reveal the pleasant night backdrop again, and shouts, “They already know that!”
In the Gilda Radner episode, a Muppet Labs experiment leads to everyone getting glued to each other and the set.
Statler is babysitting his infant grandson, who sits in the balcony box throughout the show. When Waldorf asks “Is he a bouncing baby boy?”, Statler says “I don’t know, but we’re high enough up to find out!”
(Elke Sommer)
Near the end of the “Cheek to Cheek” number, Danny Kaye looks out to the audience with an impish look on his face as if he knows he’s about to invite trouble and says to Piggy, “I never knew you when you were thin.”
Marisa Berenson, watching Piggy walk down the aisle, says she always cries at weddings. Standing next to her, Animal laughs. “HA HA HAHA HA!”
In the musical number “A Four-Legged Friend,” the Jim Henson and Jerry Nelson Muppets trade silly jokes about the “horses” they’re riding, which are cows: “Something about this life don’t seem right.”
(Roy Rogers/Dale Evans)
Lesley Ann Warren seems surprised to learn that Kermit is an eccentric like the rest of the Muppets, and not as sane as she thought, leading him to exclaim, “Me not crazy? I hired the others!”
Kermit reads a script written by Fozzie: “Leggies and Genglefins…”
(Harry Belafonte)
Lew Zealand, having been turned into a chicken, perfects his boomerang egg act. He throws the egg away, and then it comes back to him!
(Roger Miller)
Kermit is talking about what a great job Lynn Redgrave is doing playing Maid Marian and how it’s such a demanding role. Piggy replies, “Hmm, speaking of a demanding role, I do not have a role in this pro-duc-see-un and I am demanding one.”
In a “Bear On Patrol” sketch, Fozzie interrupts Link from typing up a report, and Link has to start over. Fozzie asks Link what the report was for, and Link responds, “Littering,” as he tosses the paper on the ground.
(Leslie Uggams)
LAMEST JOKES
In “At the Dance,” a man with a Herring Aid (fish in his ears) is asked by his date if it’s transistorized. He replies “No, marinated.”
(Jean Stapleton)
French Pig: “Sacré Bleu!”
Kermit: “What does that mean?”
French Pig: “…Sacred blue?”
(Helen Reddy)
Kermit brings ducks on stage, and Roy Clark says “Do you have any soup to go with these quackers?”
The séance sketch in the James Coco episode.
Liberace stops his concert to tell the audience that all his rings are real.
While performing the opening theme song at a train station, Rowlf says, “Hey, do you know who’s conducting? The conductor!” Yes, it’s the same as the Best Joke. In that moment, the great and the terrible are one. The wretched and the sublime are joined in a single purpose. (Loretta Lynn)
William Tell: “You just can’t move when I’m shooting. I’ve told you that a thousand times.”
Tell’s Son: “Well, you know me: in one ear and out the other.”
(Alice Cooper)
Cheryl Ladd can’t go on stage until she gets her costume off! But that’s ridiculous, you say? Well, she has to get her costume off of Luncheon Counter Monster and on to her!
Fozzie arrives on stage holding a hula hoop. When Rowlf asks him why he’s holding a hoop, Fozzie says “Because Statler and Waldorf are always saying the show is hoopless!”
(Pearl Bailey)
At the end of the theme song, Gonzo hiccups instead of blowing on his trumpet.
(Kris Kristofferson/Rita Coolidge)
In the opening scene from Robin Hood, Fozzie complains that the Merry Men are not cavorting correctly. He goes on to show them what he’s looking for by just singing the word “cavort” over and over.
(Lynn Redgrave)
Statler: “Have you ever thought there must be life after death?”
Waldorf: “Every time I leave this theater.”
(Raquel Welch)
Statler & Waldorf realize Annie Sue will make The Muppet Show worth attending, so they ponder if they should “shoot her now.”
(Leo Sayer)
“Why did they want the igloo?”
“Well, maybe someone broke their ig.”
(Gilda Radner)
At the goodnights, Spike Milligan emerges with a Native American headdress and says, “Me — me not go. Me like it here. Me not say goodbye. Me say, ‘Hello, sailor!’”
A very brief segment features the Zucchini Brothers jumping into a pool of water, but Beauregard moves the pool.
(Danny Kaye)
In Kermit’s intro, he says, “We hope you’re as happy to see us as we are to see us… amongst other people.”
(Lesley Ann Warren)
The “Muppet Sports” blindfold race.
(Harry Belafonte)
The musical number “Alabamy Bound,” featuring penguins as pilgrims, ends with a penguin saying, “Land ho! We’ve arrived in the new world! It’s Plymouth Rock! And look over there! Ford Rock and Chevrolet Rock!”
(Roger Miller)
Fozzie Bear tells bad jokes to some cows, rattling off some cow-favorite songs: “Catch a Falling Steer,” “If Heifer I Should Leave You,” and “Moooooon River.”
(Roy Rogers/Dale Evans)
All of the fish puns between Leslie Uggams and Lew Zealand, especially:
Uggams: “What does it take to become a great boomerang fish thrower?”
Lew: “Well, you’ve gotta get sole… and if you can’t get sole, get a halibut.”
MOST CLASSIC MOMENTS
“I’m a Woman,” sung by Raquel Welch and Miss Piggy.
Animal and the Swedish Chef enter Helen Reddy’s dressing room to warble their way through “Happy Birthday to You.” When she tells them it’s not her birthday, they switch to “Jingle Bells.” (Helen Reddy)
In “Pigs in Space,” Strangepork uses pop-up toaster parts to fix the control panel, and the Swinetrek crew pops up and down through the seats on the bridge. Then other characters (including Camilla, Beaker, the male Koozebanian, Luncheon Counter Monster, the Witch Doctor, Chopped Liver, and Statler) start popping in and out.
(Roy Clark)
The Muppets acknowledge that the Swedish Chef doesn’t speak real Swedish.
(Jean Stapleton)
“The Rhyming Song,” one of the most baffling things ever to appear on The Muppet Show.
(Loretta Lynn)
“School’s Out,” featuring Alice Cooper’s most famous song paired with a team of full-bodied Muppets as backup dancers/demolition experts.
Gonzo recites the 7 Times Multiplication Table while Balancing a Piano and Standing on a Hammock.
(Kris Kristofferson/Rita Coolidge)
The Electric Mayhem performs “America” from West Side Story with an international accompaniment of Muppets.
(Spike Milligan)
Bobby Benson’s Baby Band performs “Pennsylvania 6-5000.”
(Elke Sommer)
“The Carrots of Penzance,” performed by Gilda Radner and a giant carrot.
Danny Kaye sings “Inchworm” backstage with the Muppet troupe.
Marvin Suggs beats the crap out of his Muppaphones while Lesley Ann Warren watches in unbridled disgust.
“Turn the World Around,” of course.
(Harry Belafonte)
“Alabamy Bound” with the penguin pilgrims.
(Roger Miller)
Fozzie does the old “herd of cows” routine.
(Roy Rogers/Dale Evans)
Gonzo plans to torture Maid Marian in order to get information from her about Robin Hood’s whereabouts but instead torturing himself in attempts to show off to Marian how the equipment works.
(Lynn Redgrave)
“Gonzo’s Song,” a love song for Camilla.
(Leslie Uggams)
COOLEST PUPPETRY TRICKS
The underwater “Octopus’s Garden” number, with swimming Muppets.
(James Coco)
Statler and Waldorf find chickens in their box, which they promptly kick out. Within about two seconds, the chickens go from being hand puppets to projectiles.
(Helen Reddy)
Gonzo does an act: yodeling while riding on a motorized pogo stick. He starts bouncing, slips out of frame for a fraction of a second, and then whips back in, holding on for dear life as the pogo stick pogos out of control.
(Roy Clark)
Kermit and Gonzo pump a handcar along a railroad.
(Loretta Lynn)
Kermit blows out a candle and says “think about that, folks.”
(Alice Cooper)
Gonzo gets crushed by a 5000 lb weight, and spends the rest of the episode as a squashed Gonzo puppet.
(Cheryl Ladd)
When the Muppet Newsman announces an explosion at a hat factory, an avalanche of hats falls on him – and the very last one, a hard hat, lands perfectly on his noggin!
(Pearl Bailey)
During a “Muppet Labs” sketch, Beaker’s legs grow several yards longer before our eyes.
(Kris Kristofferson/Rita Coolidge)
Graham Fletcher, the dancer in the giant spider costume for the musical “Baby It’s Me,” really keeps you guessing as to which legs are fake and which are real.
(Raquel Welch)
A dance number featuring Marisa Berenson has some great work by the Muppet performers, operating feather boas. They don’t have googly eyes or appendages or anything – they’re just feather boas that move so fluidly and expressively you’re convinced they’re alive.
Spike Milligan’s “coat of arms,” which must have required many puppeteers to cram in there together.
Elke Sommer turns into a dancing Muppet with arms and legs that resemble pipe cleaners. Later, an effect in a “Muppet Sports” sketch allows a goldfish to seemingly float inside a bowl with no visible sign of a puppeteer.
Miss Piggy karate chops a piano, which breaks and emits a puff of dust. Then, the lead singer of “Jogging” seems to be running past a bunch of characters and things, but the actual puppet is just running in place while everything moves past the camera. Later, the “Lunch Time” sketch features dancing food (including a tap dancing banana peel!), and manages to make the whole thing look like it’s taking place on a construction beam with no visible puppeteers below.
(Danny Kaye)
Rowlf looks like he’s actually playing all the notes on the piano during “Just the Way You Are.”
(Lesley Ann Warren)
The way the African masks move in the “Turn the World Around” number is so fluid. They also have a wide variety of mouth types, which are unusual for The Muppet Show.
(Harry Belafonte)
Waldorf gets lassoed and pulled down from the balcony. Which must be especially difficult when there’s normally a hand inside the puppet.
(Roy Rogers/Dale Evans)
While one of a group of archers is a live hand puppet, one of them is not, and yet he still looks like he’s convincingly shooting an arrow.
(Lynn Redgrave)
A Whatnot gets his neck stretched out by the Vendawish machine.
(Leslie Uggams)
MUSICAL HIGHLIGHTS
“Eight Little Notes” by Rowlf and Beethoven.
(James Coco)
“I Don’t Want to Set the World On Fire,” by a group of firemen.
(Roy Clark)
“Play a Simple Melody” by Jean Stapleton, with Fozzie on ukulele.
Liberace’s jazz number.
Oh Lonesome Me” by Loretta Lynn and Baskerville.
“You and Me” by Alice Cooper and Beaky.
“You Make Me Feel Like Dancing” by Leo Sayer.
“There’s a New Sound” by Scooter
(Cheryl Ladd)
“My Soul Is a Witness” by Pearl Bailey and a Muppet choir.
“Last Dance” by Lesley Ann Warren, unless you hate disco.
“My Wild Irish Rose” by Wayne, who then gets eaten by a wild Irish rose.
(Kris Kristofferson/Rita Coolidge)
“Tap Your Troubles Away” by Gilda Radner.
“You’re Always Welcome at Our House” by Marisa Berenson
“It’s a Small World” by several Disneyland-style Muppets.
(Spike Milligan)
“Pennsylvania 6-5000” by Bobby Benson’s Baby Band.
(Elke Sommer)
All three of Harry Belafonte’s featured numbers.
“In The Summertime” by Roger Miller.
“Blue Skies,” by some scatting, impeccably-choreographed prairie dogs.
(Roy Rogers/Dale Evans)
“I Still Love You” by Kermit as Robin Hood and Lynn Redgrave as Maid Marian.
“Love Will Keep Us Together” by Leslie Uggams and Big Bird.
ADULTIEST CONTENT
Gonzo’s overall behavior in the Leslie Uggams episode, both in trying to trick his girlfriend into kissing him and then him being attracted to Big Bird, who is a six-year-old child.
During a musical number, Floyd has what seems to be a can of Fosters beer. Later, in “Vet’s Hospital,” Nurse Piggy places her fishnet-clad legs on the table while Dr. Bob ogles them through opera glasses.
(Helen Reddy)
The number “One’s on the Way” is all about how parenthood has ruined the narrator’s life. (Loretta Lynn)
Before the number “Help Me Make It Through the Night,” Miss Piggy calls the song “sexy,” and she isn’t wrong. It’s a song about spending the night together, and she’s all over Kris Kristofferson through the whole thing. Also he starts undressing her at one point.
(Kris Kristofferson/Rita Coolidge)
Many things in the Raquel Welch episode. Welch literally calls Fozzie “sexsational.”
Kermit says to Lew Zealand: “When I book a boomerang fish act on the show, some very warm places will freeze over!”
(Marisa Berenson)
At the end of “Jogging,” the jogger collapses and has his face licked by a dog. The dog’s owner, Wayne, then begins to lick the other side of the jogger’s face. It’s hard not to fetishize it.
(Danny Kaye)
Lesley Ann Warren winks at the camera before coming on pretty strong to Link and then attempting to seduce him with her song-and-dance number.
The Sylvester Stallone episode features an all-female Muppet “groupie brigade.” These Lady Muppets definitely are thirsty for The Italian Stallion.
When his friends turn into chickens, Gonzo looks them up and down while telling us he’s an expert on chickens. Come on. You know what kind of expert he’s talking about.
(Roger Miller)
Statler and Waldorf whip out their guns in two different scenes. First, they say “Let’s put this show out of its misery” before opening fire on the stage. Later, Statler forces Waldorf to “dance” by firing the gun at his feet.
(Roy Rogers/Dale Evans)
The concept of medieval torture devices might warrant a little bit of explaining to a child.
(Lynn Redgrave)
MOST DATED JOKES
The Spike Milligan episode features several unfortunate, old-fashioned ethnic stereotypes.
For lunch, Gonzo orders a Walnut Lima Bean sandwich.
(Jean Stapleton)
The whole Raquel Welch episode is male gaze-y in a way that wouldn’t fly today.
Something about Wayne recognizing Uncle Deadly as a Flamenco dancer from Kansas City seems a bit dated.
(Gilda Radner)
While offering her words of encouragement, Luncheon Counter Monster appears to slap Lesley Ann Warren on the backside several times.
When Fozzie gets his tie stuck in a typewriter, he looks at the camera and says “I wonder if this ever happened to Neil Simon.”
(Harry Belafonte)
When Kermit, as Robin Hood, is about to duel with some guards, he riffs on Muhammad Ali’s refrain with, “Float like a butterfly, sting like a frog.”
(Lynn Redgrave)
And there you have it! Season three in a nutshell. There were a few other categories, but we didn’t use them quite as often as these. Keep your eyes on this website for our season four reviews in the fall, and if you haven’t already, be sure to check out our Season Three Roundtable for all the Tough Pigs folks’ opinions on the season as a whole.
Click here to have a wide variety of mouth types on the Tough Pigs forum!
by Ryan Roe – Ryan@ToughPigs.com
