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Part 12: The Wrong Princess

Cast: Jim Henson (Kermit),Camille Bonora (Princess), Marty Robinson (Vic), Richard Hunt (Tony), Jerry Nelson (Announcer).mmnews17

Announcer


We take you now to Kermit the Frog with another fast breaking news story!
Kermit


Hi ho, Kermit the Frog here, speaking to you from the palace of the Princess in that famous story of The Princess And The Pea. Now, as you know, the Princess in that story was so sensitive, that when a single pea — like this one right here — was placed in her bed, she couldn’t sleep all night long, because she could feel it through a whole pile of mattresses. How about that. A single little pea like this one. [ He eats the pea. ] Mmm-mmm. Needs salt. Anyhow, behind me now is the door to the bedroom where the Princess has been tossing and turning all night long. And any minute…
[ The guards play a fanfare. ]
Kermit


Oh, here comes the Princess now!mmnews18
[ The Princess enters, yawning. ]
Kermit


Ah, good morning, Princess! Kermit the Frog here, of Sesame Street News, can you tell me — how did you sleep last night?
Princess


Ahhh… like a log!
Kermit


I see. Okay, folks, you heard it right here, she slept like a log… now, wait a second, how could you sleep like a log? What about the pea?
Princess


What pea?
Kermit


The pea under your mattress. The pea, you’re supposed to keep tossing and turning all night long! Didn’t you feel the pea?
Princess


… No.
Kermit


Well, aren’t you the Princess from The Princess And The Pea?
Princess


Noooo, I’m the Princess from The Princess And The C, froggie! Here, I’ll show ya!
[ She goes back into her bedroom. ]
Kermit


But… but… The Princess And The C?mmnews19
[ The Princess brings him a big letter C. ]
Princess


Here it is!
Kermit


But… that is a C, all right, but I don’t suppose you slept on that.
Princess


Well, sure… along with all the other stuff.
Kermit


The other stuff? What other stuff?
Princess


Vic! Tony! Bring out the bed.
Vic


Okay!
Tony


Okay.
Kermit


What… I don’t believe this. Who booked the wrong Princess on this show? Who’s the talent coordinator here?mmnews20
[ Vic and Tony wheel out the Princess’ bed, which is covered in things that begin with C. ]
Vic


Okay! Here we go.
Kermit


Uh, excuse me, Princess, you actually sleep on all of this?
Princess


Why, yeah. Each of these things starts with the letter C. It’s kinda like my trademark. A cactus — see?
Kermit


A cactus, yeah…
Princess


A coconut…
Kermit


Mm hmm. Coconut.
Princess


A clarinet… and back there is a crocodile… and here’s a clock.mmnews21
Kermit


Crocodile… and clock. But, uh, you actually sleep on the clock, but, uh, why?
Princess


Why?
Kermit


Mm hmm.
Princess


Hey, I’m a Princess! I gotta kingdom to take care of! I gotta deal with ogres, and giants, and witches! I gotta be TOUGH, froggie! And sleeping on this stuff MAKES me tough!
Kermit


Uh, yeah, well, I can see that.
Princess


Yeah, you oughta try it sometime.
Kermit


Uh, well…
Princess


Here, why don’t you lie down on that coconut?
Kermit


Well, I’d love to, but I’m afraid we’re all out of time.
Princess


Aw, c’mon — Vic, Tony! Put the frog on this stuff. Yeah.
Kermit


Uh, this is Kermit the Frog… wait, wait a second… What are you doing to me?
Princess


Yeah, you’re gonna love it, froggie!
[ Vic and Tony grab Kermit, and force him to lie down on the bed. ]
Vic


There ya go, frog!
Princess


Hey, Vic — slide that clarinet right under him, yeah…mmnews22

by Danny Horn

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