More Breaking News, Part Two

Published: May 2, 2003
Categories: Uncategorized

Breaking News

Part 11: That’s Wonderland

Cast: Jim Henson (Kermit),Fran Brill (Alice), Jerry Nelson (Announcer).mmnews8

Announcer


We take you now to Kermit the Frog with another fast breaking news story!
Kermit


Yeah, well, where’s the White Rabbit? Late again, huh? Well, we’ll just have to start without him. What? Oh! Hi ho, this is Kermit the Frog, speaking to you from Sesame Street News, in Wonderland — where anything can happen, and it usually does! And with me is Alice here…
Alice


Hi.
Kermit


Yes, and Alice, you’ve been having some pretty strange adventures here, haven’t you?
Alice


Yeah, I’ll say.
Kermit


Uh huh. And, uh — incidentally, you’re kinda small, even for a little girl, aren’t you?
Alice


Yeah. Musta been somethin’ I ate.mmnews9
Kermit


Uh huh. Well, uh, tell me, Alice, what is your next amazing adventure going to be?
Alice


Well, I’ll tell ya, Kerm. I have this little bottle of water that says: Drink me.
Kermit


Little bottle. Yeah.
Alice


And I’m, uh, gonna drink it.
Kermit


You are! Is that it, huh?
Alice


Yep. Drinking the water.
Kermit


Okay, well, it’s probably gonna be pretty exciting, uh, won’t it, folks? She’s going to drink the water, and then, what’s going to happen?
Alice


I don’t know. We’ll see.
Kermit


Uh huh. Well, that’s Wonderland, folks! That’s Wonderland, you never know what’s going to happen when you drink some water, so, uh… there she goes, she is drinking the water.mmnews10
[ Alice drinks some water… and quickly grows to Kermit’s size. ]
Kermit


Hmm, wait a minute. What’s happening?
Alice


Wow.
Kermit


Wha-ho! You got big fast, didn’t you?
Alice


I did, I did.
Kermit


Yeah… uh, listen, uh, look how big she is, she took a drink and she really — she really got big!
Alice


You know, that was curiously refreshing.
Kermit


Yeah?
Alice


I think I’ll drink some more.
Kermit


Uh… you sure?mmnews11
[ Alice drinks some more… and grows even bigger. ]
Kermit


My goodness!
Alice


My my!
Kermit


This is curiouser and curiouser! You’re bigger now, you know!
Alice


I know, I know I’m bigger.
Kermit


Yeah.mmnews12
Alice


Well, uh, I might as well finish this drink.
Kermit


Well, do you think that’s smart? I mean, there’s a fairly low ceiling in this place…
[ Alice gulps down the rest of the water… and gets even bigger… ]
Kermit


Look out for the ceiling, Alice!mmnews13
[ Alice hits the ceiling with a huge CRASH! Plaster falls down onto Kermit’s head. ]
Alice


Oh, no.
Kermit


ALICE!
Alice


Oh, dear.
Kermit


You hit the ceiling!
Alice


I know.
Kermit


Are you okay?
Alice


I’m okay. I’m sorry about the ceiling, though.
Kermit


Well, how do you feel?
Alice


I… I feel very big!
Kermit


Well, you are certainly the biggest little girl I’ve ever seen!
Alice


This is the biggest I’ve ever been.
Kermit


Yes, well, you’re certainly — you’re real big!
Alice


I am big.
Kermit


Yeah. Well, you know, Alice, I think I’m getting a stiff neck just from talking to you…
Alice


Oh.
Kermit


So I think the interview is over.
Alice


Oh, okay. Well, I’ll see ya later, Kerm.
Kermit


Okay, Alice.mmnews14
[ Alice thumps away. ]
Kermit


Whoa! She is — she is big, folks. I have seen big in my life, but she is really BIG! Uh… wait a second… Hmm… She left a cupcake here. Look at that, I think maybe I’ll just take a little bite of this… [ He takes a bite of the cupcake. ] Oh! That tastes… rather strange…mmnews15
[ Kermit shrinks, all the way down to a couple inches. He struggles with his microphone to finish the report. ]
Kermit


Whoa-oa-oa! Uh… this is Kermit the Frog, and, uh… How am I going to explain this back at the office? Eesh…mmnews16

by Danny Horn

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